Men, have you spent many a sleepless night wondering exactly what numerically quantified value you are to the opposite sex? Women, do you wish you could give your man a report card? The solution is finally here! It's the Male Scale, a scientifically proven method to rate a man's attractiveness, sensitivity, and usefulness, and for a limited time, it's yours free! To use the Male Scale, simply answer the questions (men answer for themselves, women answer for their husbands or partners) a...

So I've been called a flirt. I don't mean to do it. I don't even really consider it flirting. It's just being friendly and chipper. Hell, I do it with women, too. What is flirting? Is flirting wrong when you're in a committed relationship? Is THIS flirting? My husband and I are in Blockbuster, looking for the movie Holes. I am in an aisle alone, and I look up to see a friendly looking Blockbuster employee. He smiles and asks, "Is there anything I can help you with?" I smi...

Xavier is a very industrious child and very interested in justice, in our household and elsewhere. Therefore, it only made sense that he would come up with a very detailed discipline chart and request that Adrian and I implement these new rules that he'd worked so hard to reason out. The top of the chart has drawings on him and of his brother, each with five stars (with boxes for check marks above them) that lead to a drawing of a piece of candy labeled "treat." Five instances of go...

Listen up, mainlanders... Just 'cause you put pineapple in it, doesn't mean you've created a Hawaiian dish! You put pineapple on your pizza. So what? Now it's Pineapple Pizza. It AIN'T Hawaiian Pizza, and I don't care what Papa Johns says. Your chicken dish has green bell peppers and terriyaki sauce and pineapple chunks. It's not Waikiki Chicken! It's Terriyaki Chicken with Pineapples and Green Bell Peppers! Yeah, yeah, the pineapple symbolizes hospitality and aloha...but it ...

I think most of you know my name. Brandie. B-r-a-n-d-i-e Brandie. Not Brandi. Or Brandy. Or Brenda (yeah, I've gotten some of THAT too). I don't know if my name suits me. It's a weird thing to think about, but I do think about it from time to time. To me, 'Brandie' is a slut name. It's popular, but not incredibly popular, and my spelling is just rare enough that no one in the universe can spell it right. I was supposed to be 'Brandy', but my great-grandmother told my mo...

I wanna play poker. I've never actually played poker before, and I'm pretty unfamiliar with the rules. I watched a little 'net cartoon on Texas Hold 'Em, and what I got from it is that each person gets two card that no one sees. They bet on those cards, then another card is put face up in a "community" deck. Bet again. Then another card, bet again, etc. until there are four "community" cards face up on the table. Players then use their cards and the "community" cards to make t...

Each year I become more and more disappointed by the quality of books offered to children. Movie and cartoon and toy character merchandising has become a virus that has infected every part of our children's lives, including their literature and learning tools. Sure, reading SOMETHING is better than reading NOTHING. And sure, these merchandised versions of books make reading fun or more interesting to children. However, these types of things are like the sugars and fats on the food g...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! How do I always manage to do stuff like this? I was getting a jump start on bill paying today...I like to go ahead and set up the payments before payday so I don't forget and end up paying something late. So, I entered my amounts, set the date for payday, and clicked submit. Or so I thought. I forgot to set the date for my phone/internet bill...so it went with the default option. Today. The bill is being paid right now. At this very minute. And this...

The Director of Army Staff has proclaimed that henceforth, in all Army correspondence, the word "family" will be capitalized. From the current ACS/My Army Life Too newsletter: "...in recognition of the fact that Army Families are a key component of readiness, and shoulder a great burden of sacrifice, supporting their Soldier and often enduring long periods of separation from their loved ones, effective immediately, the word "Families" will be capitalized in all Army correspondence." "So...

Laughing Baby: Surprised Baby: (I don't know how many of you remember details from the first Home Alone movie, but there's this part where Kevin is looking through Buzz's footlocker and he finds a picture of Buzz's girlfriend and says, "Buzz, your girlfriend...WOOF!"  Haha, this picture of Izzy reminds me of the pic of Buzz's chubby girlfriend!) Frilly Baby: Curious Baby: Worried Baby: Chillin' Baby: Uh-Oh Baby:

- My Favorite Things - Babylegs.  Tide Simple Pleasures Vanilla Lavender detergent and fabric softener. The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. Swaddle Me blanket by Kiddopotamus. Starbucks Iced Coffee Light. Eva Lillian's "Sexy Nursing Goddess" nursing top. Elle Sexy Nursing Bra with matching breast pads (and matching thong or bikini panties). Bath and Body Works Black Raspberry Vanilla hand sanitizer, hand soap, body cream, a...

Last night I had the brilliant idea that I would make a slide show.  I had pictures I wanted to share, and I had seen a couple people post these awesome slide shows that showcased LOTS of pictures.  Unfortunately, I'm not as smart as these people I've seen posting these slideshows, and for ALL my effort (I spent a long damn time uploading photos), I ended up posting nothing but impotent code.  It was late and I was tired so I decided "screw it" and I just deleted the article. ...

Most everyone I spent the last 3 years getting to know have moved.  We're still here for who knows how long (not that I'm complaining). New neighbors are like a box of chocolates. I want to introduce you to my new neighbor, Scrawny*. Scrawny moved in with his active duty wife and his two daughters.  His oldest daughter is maybe 9 or so and she is Amy Poehler's "Kaitlyn" character personified.  Rick!! Rick!! Rick!!!! Can I go to the pool, Rick? Rick!! Rick!! Rick!! The ...

Apparently this would be the safest choice for pregnant women. I'm a big fan of safety and minimizing risks.  Particularly when the risks involve children or potential children. But COME ON, PEOPLE! No caffeine. No deli meat or hot dogs. No alcohol. No artificial sweeteners. No sushi. No soft cheeses. No smoked meats. No sprouts. No unripe papaya. No Caesar salad. No tuna or other high mercury fish. No peanuts. No Chinese food (MSG). No shrimp...

I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or what, but I've noticed that people now seem compelled to lie to me to spare my feelings. I don't particularly mind this, but it would be nice if EVERYONE would lie to me ALWAYS just to keep things consistent, or at the very least, tell convincing lies. Lie #1: "You're not fat, you're pregnant." This is very sweet. And for many women this is true. However, if I was fat before I became pregnant, how did I suddenly become not fat and ins...