The Director of Army Staff has proclaimed that henceforth, in all Army correspondence, the word "family" will be capitalized.

From the current ACS/My Army Life Too newsletter:

"...in recognition of the fact that Army Families are a key component of readiness, and shoulder a great burden of sacrifice, supporting their Soldier and often enduring long periods of separation from their loved ones, effective immediately, the word "Families" will be capitalized in all Army correspondence."

"Soldier" is a capitalized word in the Army realm, and I'm sure many of you have noticed that I capitalize it the way most people capitalize the word "God". It may seem insignificant, but I feel it is a small way to show respect for my husband and for all the Soldiers who have served, and who are currently honorably serving our country.

I have heard people say that the family/spouse is "just as much in" as the Soldier and I have heard that military spouses aren't really military and don't understand military culture or service. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

I have heard people say that military spouses are just whiners and that they "knew what they were signing up for when they married their Soldier" and I have heard people say that military spouses are strong, important, and worthy of praise and admiration. Again, maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle.

It is frustrating to sacrifice so much with so little recognition. Most civilians who do not have a close family member who serves or has served in war time don't fully comprehend the depth of sacrifice required for the family members. Everyone vocally supports the Soldier. They pen poems about him (or her), they buy bumper stickers and yellow ribbon magnets, the forward patriotic emails full of praise for the men and women in uniform, they send boxes full of Tuna and Ramen Noodles and crossword puzzles to these upholders of the Constitution (see? another capitalized word).

Often times it's as if military families are invisible. They quietly do their thing and if they do it well, no attention is ever really drawn to them.

Technically, a Soldier doesn't need a family. It's not a requirement for him (or her) to do his (or her) job. Reality, though, is that it's a quality of life issue. The man or woman who enlists likely has some of the same core needs for companionship that most everyone else does. It would be easier for the Army if there were no Army families, but who is going to tell the people who have agreed to willingly sacrifice their lives for the safety and well-being of other families, that they cannot have one of their own?

No doubt, the Army's support of families has cost the taxpayer an incredible amount of money. A single, childless Soldier doesn't need Spouse Employment Assistance or Child Development Centers or Exceptional Family Member Programs or School Liason Officers.

Army families are both necessary for the well-being and success of the Soldier and completely unnecessary and a hindrance to the success of the Soldier.

When we (military families) do our jobs poorly, our Soldier is distracted and anxious or angry. He cannot focus on the mission because he is worried about little Timmy's fights at school or his mother-in-law's power struggle with his wife over when little Suzy should be potty trained. His mind is always on money and the fact that no matter how much he makes, his wife spends more. He wonders why his wife hasn't emailed or answered the phone in 8 days. He is sick of hearing about how so-and-so's wife is sleeping around. He is stressed, tired, lonely, and needs someone he can trust and lean on, and the bad military family not only denies him this, but also adds significantly to his burden.

When we do our jobs well, we are a great asset to our Soldier. Our job is to run all aspects of our homes as flawlessly as possible while our Soldier is away, so as to remove that burden of worry from our Soldier. We are also an important source of comfort, moral support, and encouragement to our stressed out, mission-focused Soldier. We listen when (s)he needs to talk, we repair the broken washing machine with a safety pin and pair of plyers and don't tell our Soldier until we've succeeded in doing so, we assure him or her that the children are well fed and are doing well in school, we let them know that we love them and support them and we are their safe always-there person, we send them care packages and letters and emails and lost first tooths and suggestive photos and Nomex gloves.


Do military families deserve this (token of) respect? Do we deserve a (capital) 'F', as flawed and unnecessary as we are?

I think so.