Xavier is a very industrious child and very interested in justice, in our household and elsewhere. Therefore, it only made sense that he would come up with a very detailed discipline chart and request that Adrian and I implement these new rules that he'd worked so hard to reason out.
The top of the chart has drawings on him and of his brother, each with five stars (with boxes for check marks above them) that lead to a drawing of a piece of candy labeled "treat."
Five instances of good behavior would warrant a treat.
The sides and back of the chart have a Mom version and Dad version of his patented "Trouble-O-Meter" and "Happy-O-Meter," complete with drawings of our faces at each stage of anger or happiness.
But the real meat of the chart is this...his 8 year-old view of appropriate discipline for different infractions. It's amazing to see what types of offenses he views as being particularly bad, and what actual punishment he would suggest for the "crime."
(spelling errors corrected)
Bad word: Bust with belt
Mean word: Stand in corner for 1 minute
Punch: 5 dollars of their allowance
Rapid kick: Lose TV privileges for 1 minute
Slap: 3 dollars of allowance
Push: Stand up and walk around the room 10 times
Rapidly do something weird to hurt others: Stand in the corner for 4 minutes
Not listening: Stand in corner for 5 minutes
Making adult mad: Go to sleep for 2 minutes and a half
In some ways it's so precious and childlike and funny, but I also think it gives me a little bit of a peek inside that head of his.
One of the things that I had to discuss with him was the "mad/happy" thing. I know that I've been guilty of saying, "I can't believe you drew all over the table. That makes me really angry" or "I'm so happy that you took your toys upstairs without being asked," and I think I've confused him into believing that he is responsible for my emotions. I tried to explain to him that we are all responsible for our own happiness, and that we can't control how other people feel. All we can control is how we react to the actions of others.
I think it's something that I'll have to keep emphasizing with him.
I found it interesting that distinguished between a "bad" word and a "mean" word, although the punishment was the same. With a few exceptions, he's never been one to use profanity, but he can sure dish out the insults to his brother.
He also made distinctions between specific acts of violence, which I also thought was curious.
And his punishments...
I don't know that I've ever spanked him with a belt, and in fact, spanking is generally something I feel is best for very young children to prevent them from doing something dangerous. Otherwise I think spanking is, for the most part, more for the benefit of the parent...getting aggression and frustration out at the expense of the child. This is just my personal view for my own family, and I respect any parent's right to spank as they see fit.
So, I am surprised that the first punishment he lists is a spanking.
The time increments listed for corner standing, napping, and privilege loss are odd as well. One minute? Two and a half minutes? He has a fairly decent concept of time, so I know these were no accident.
And finally, I found the "rapidly" prefix on some of the "crimes" so funny.
All in all, I am very proud of the work he put into his chart...it was so detailed. And I admire his desire to set rules and boundaries for himself. I think it will serve him well.
What a good boy.
And...walk around the room 10 times? Hahahhahhahahaha...