Your love feels like wrapping myself up in a blanket fresh out of the dryer . . . warm and fragrant and comforting. Your love feels like seeing the sweet and excited expression on the kids' faces the moment they realize it's Christmas morning. Your love feels like looking in my McDonald's sack and discovering that they gave me an extra order of fries. Your love feels like reaching into the pocket of an old, worn jacket and finding a twenty dollar bill. Your love feels like rushi...

I'm crying. I can feel myself making the "sad Gizmo" face. I have tears in my eyes, tears on my face . . . my bottom lip keeps popping out. Today I am supposed to clean the battery cables on the car. I had to go all over the base to find club soda to use. Now I have a brush, gloves, club soda, pliers, and a flashlight. I popped open the hood and propped it open with the metal bar. I was crying even before that. I am scared to do this, and so I wanted to do it and be prou...

I'm an ass . . . I'll admit it. In fact, it's almost a term of endearment for me (and for those I care about, too . . . you know I like you when I call you an ass). But how do you know if you are an ass? Well, obviously, understanding ass-ness is like trying to tell a rainbow to stop being a rainbow. However, there are some clues . . . some guidelines . . . that can help you determine whether or not you might be an ass. 1. You laugh at the misfortune of others. You hee-ha...

Last night in bed my mind did the thing it usually does . . . it raced through all sorts of random thoughts and a review of the day's events. There, laying on my back with my seven year old's knee lodged in my ribs and my Hawaiian print comforter pulled up to my neck, I was hit with the realization of few things . . . I had not cried a single tear that day. Not one. I have cried and cried until my eyes have ached and my body shook. I have cried in the car, at the computer, on the ...

Here's my tattoo . . . I am so in love with it. Right now it kind of hurts a little bit, but I'm trying not to be a wuss, ha ha ha. Some day when I'm old and I'm getting a spongebath some nursing home worker is going to think it's really cool.

It's hard to eat. I'm still learning how to do it without hurting myself. It's really hard to swallow a pill. It doesn't hurt too much, and it's only a little swollen. I kind of like the warm salt water rinses. And it looks so fucking cool. I got my tongue pierced yesterday. I'm so tough I didn't even wince, ha ha. I've got a pink barbell in right now, and when it heals, I'm going to put in a badass barbell with a skull and crossbones on the top. I have a little trouble ...

I like to sleep. I hate getting up before 9 am. I love pizza. And pasta with just sauce. I could eat one of those two things for every meal. I like a big tall swirl of whipped cream on top of my hot cocoa. I hate driving. I'm a hypochondriac and something's always wrong with me. I get ear infections all the time. Probably because I love to take bubble baths and the water stays in my ears. I love Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I could play Zoo Tycoon for hours and hour...

I have been trying to get my photos in order and into albums, and I came across a few photos that make me laugh or that are completely bizarre . . . and the ones I'm posting here are just the tip of the ice berg. I got lots more. These are just the first few I came across. I'll start by embarrassing the kids -- here's the spiffy haircut my youngest gave himself a while back. This photo belongs in the dictionary beside the word pessimism. Why, dad, why? Here's...

I was pretty sure about this before, but it has been officially confirmed today. I'm not cool. I didn't know what "emo" was, and turns out I think "emo" sucks now that I know what it is. I drive a white minivan. Uncool. I drink diet soda. Uncool. I buy candles (and spend good money on them, too). Uncool. I currently wear only one band t-shirt (as fate would have it, I'm wearing it today). It's from a Sugar Ray concert (which I though was cool, but since I don't know co...

I have no sympathy for the skinny chicks. Anytime anyone talks about, or writes an article about, the need for body acceptance for curvy girls, inevitably a naturally thin chick will pipe up with, "I can't help it if I'm skinny. You guys are always cutting down skinny girls, but I'd be in trouble if I called a big girl a cow." NEWS FLASH SKINNY GIRLS: You have not been persecuted. You are idolized. You see your image on TV, in magazines, in movies, on mannequins, in catalogs, on b...