While our resident Colonel has been ranting about all things military and Bush-related and put out a lot of stats and assertions that are questionable, he is right about one thing. The US Army is unable to keep up with recruitment goals and keep up the desired troop level. Here are the facts: While the May recruitment numbers were not available until today, according to a cnn article, the Army fell about 25% short of its recruitment goal (6,700, lowered from an original target of 1...
This is how I beat the first boss: I grabbed the glue glob and then the boss looked down and then it looked up. Then I did a ground pound on it. Then it's head got stuck onto the floor and there was a lot of coins. Then I sucked them up. Then I picked it up. Then I took it and I jumped and then I smashed it into the ground. Then I keeped on doing that. And then he was defeated. Here's the next boss: It was a giant two-headed dragon-fish. One of its heads spitted out glue globs an...
For the eleven months that Adrian was deployed, I became accustomed to doing everything around the house by myself. I searched the cabinets to see what we had on hand. I made a menu. I used that menu to create a grocery list. I took the list, and the kids, to the store. I selected the items on my list and maybe two or three impulse items. I kept the little one out of the cash register behind us and the big one from kicking his brother while I placed every single item on the belt...
Dear Elementary School Staff, I am writing this letter to explain the reason for my son's absence from school today. I have kept him home due to a disturbing home accident that took place this morning. At ten til 8, my husband poured himself a bowl of Coca Puffs. He added milk and returned the milk carton to the refrigerator. Because he was in a hurry, he shut the fridge door hard and fast and began to walk to the dining room to eat his cereal. A bottle of Raspberry Pucker was s...
Well, JU is filled with Episode III reviews with all sorts of takes on the content and script and the acting and the message of the film. There's simply nothing more that can be said about Episode III, right? There's no more room for yet another review, is there? Well, if Texas Wahine hasn't covered it, it simply hasn't been covered! This will be a bit random, so try to hang with me... I thought this was by far the best of the prequels. It actually made sense, and it helped me und...
Only in my family would something like this happen... Xavier has been learning about recycling in school, and was given a really fun, creative assignment. The assignment was to come up with an invention that would help others or make tasks easier using recycled materials around the house. He had a packet to fill out with brainstorming on possible inventions, a description of his invention, and how his invention would be useful. When we first noticed him scrounging around the house, ...
It's been said that becoming fat does not happen overnight. It's a carefully cultivated art that takes place one meal, one snack, one night sacked out on the couch at a time. In today's America, reaching the pinnacle of fatness is easier than ever. In fact, there's actually a fast track to fatness that requires little effort on the part of the eater and provides great success and fleshy abundance in a very small period of time. Now, I'm no skinny little thing. I enjoy fries and Snick...
Disclaimer: I don't feel well today, so if this article turns bitchy, please forgive me. Long-awaited. Much-hyped. New and improved. Whoringly-merchandised. Yes, it's the final installment of the Star Wars prequel pack. I live in a house with three men (ok, two of them are under 4 feet tall and wear Power Rangers underwear, but you get what I mean). They are all about this movie. We've braved the hordes of dorks in capes and red and black make-up to see the midnight showings of...
Victoria's Secret is about boobs, yes? Not strictly boobs, but boob adornment is a large part of what they're about. And yet, when my breasts need Victoria's Secret, VS abandons them. I have large breasts. Not "oh my god!" breasts. "Wow," maybe, but nothing you won't see in a Wal-Mart or Home Depot or Gold's Gym or Red Lobster or Hooters anywhere in America. Breasts like mine are common. So why is it that bra-makers worldwide have conspired to force me and my stacked sisters into u...
As it turns out, I am a Jedi. In fact, I am: NEABR SULEF of the planet Zoloft! Yes, NEABR SULEF of the planet Zoloft ! Great, isn't it? You can find your Jedi name here !
What makes a woman beautiful? Is it shiny blonde locks that tumble gracefully down her back? Is it perfectly groomed brows with arches that peak just above the iris? Is it wide, sparkling eyes framed by thick, dark lashes? Full, pouty lips? High cheekbones? Large, taut breasts that sit high on her chest? A tiny, trim waste punctuated by tight, defined abs and a perfectly formed navel? Slim hips that slightly contrast the waist but allow for a clear view of two angular ...
I've always respected the wisdom of people older than myself. Life experience is a great teacher. And life has taught me some lessons of my own. Some things I've learned: You should order your pizza no less than an hour before you plan to be hungry. If you leave a magazine on the porch swing, the puppy will eat it. Permanent marker doesn't come off floors. Two wrongs really don't make a right. The Pop Rocks chemistry set doesn't really change colors and it tastes like ...
Yesterday Adrian shined up his black boots in preparation for work today. He spent a good amount of time on them, and when he was finished they were a perfect glossy black. He was proud of his work, so he pulled on his black Army socks and laced his boots on and wore them around the house...with his khaki shorts and t-shirt. Later we were all snuggled up on the couch watching Teen Titans and Adrian began playing around, saying, "Oh, baby...mmm...look at my boots...oh, yeah...look how s...
Adrian's been home on leave for the past couple of weeks, and we've used the spare time to catch up on some island activities that we missed before he left for the middle east. He has to go back to work on Tuesday, but we've had a great time and made some fantastic memories. On Thursday we had a jam-packed day. We took a submarine tour in the morning, spent mid-day at the mall, and finished up the night with a luau. We were kind of nervous about the sub tour because we didn't know how...
Disclaimer: I am making broad, sweeping generalizations about wealthy people (yeah, mostly women) in this article. Not all wealthy people live or act this way. In general, I think great wealth is a burden. That's right...I don't crave to be rich. Here's why: 1. Your 2 grand hoity toity pure bred dog's dumps aren't any less stinky or easier to pick up than the ungodly ones my $150 mutt makes. Same poop, better price. 2. I don't have to have an expensive new toy in order to ha...