For the eleven months that Adrian was deployed, I became accustomed to doing everything around the house by myself.
I searched the cabinets to see what we had on hand. I made a menu. I used that menu to create a grocery list. I took the list, and the kids, to the store.
I selected the items on my list and maybe two or three impulse items. I kept the little one out of the cash register behind us and the big one from kicking his brother while I placed every single item on the belt.
I swiped my debit card and led the sacker to our vehicle. I buckled the kids in as the sacker moved boogie boards and Power Rangers swords out of the way so that s/he could cram the groceries into the back. I tipped the sacker with the only bit of cash I owned.
I drove home and unloaded the groceries, with the little one holding the door open for the twenty trips in and out I had to make. I put the groceries away in the fridge and the cabinets. I collapsed.
Now that Adrian's home, there are new rules regarding grocery shopping. Generally, I make a list and we all go together. He manages the boys as we creep down the aisles. When we get to the check out, I am not allowed to do a thing.
Adrian's orders.
I stand and enjoy the feeling of non-backache as he and the children place the groceries on the belt. I no longer carry groceries into the house. I do put them away, but usually with help. It's beautiful.
Can it get any better than that?
Why, yes, yes it can.
Recently Adrian's been doing the grocery shopping. It's usually a spur-of-the-moment "we need milk and bread" sort of thing, but Adrian goes.
He takes the kids, and I get some rare time all by myself. I don't have to deal with demands for Darth Vader Pop Tarts or complaints about how one child is secretly pinching the other. I don't have to unload the cart onto the belt. I don't have to carry in any groceries.
And.
And.
It's like Christmas.
A man does not shop like a woman. When I buy groceries, we get things like tomatoes and apricots and tortillas and canned green beans and 2% milk and block cheddar and yogurt and orange juice.
When Adrian goes shopping we get:
Dr. Pepper
Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
Gatorade
Milk (WHOLE milk!)
Darth Vader Pop Tarts
Cheetos
Chunky Chips Ahoy Cookies
Hersheys bars, Smores bars, M&Ms, and Sour Gummy Worms
Block cheddar (was requested)
Green Apple Hawaiian Punch
White bread
Tomato Rice soup (also requested)
Spam
Ding Dongs
Froot Loops
Scooby Doo Berry Bones Cereal
Whatever small amount of adult that is in me does not allow me to put such things on my grocery list, but man, are they great.
I had a Ding Dong and Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper for breakfast. How beautiful is that?
I never know what sort of tasty treats he's going to bring home (Barbecue Ruffled Lays? Banana Nut Crunch cereal?), so putting the groceries away is like opening Christmas presents. It's as if a seven year old wrote the grocery list, and let me tell you, seven year olds know what's good.
And now we can have cheese and Cheeto casserole with sour gummy worm garnish for supper! Everyone wins!