Just so you know, I WILL spoil this movie for you
Published on May 23, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Misc
Well, JU is filled with Episode III reviews with all sorts of takes on the content and script and the acting and the message of the film. There's simply nothing more that can be said about Episode III, right? There's no more room for yet another review, is there?

Well, if Texas Wahine hasn't covered it, it simply hasn't been covered!

This will be a bit random, so try to hang with me...

I thought this was by far the best of the prequels. It actually made sense, and it helped me understand some of the other ones a little bit better. The action and fight scenes were great. The acting was...adequate. There was a bit of emotional turmoil. And the evil was way cool.

I had heard that Episode III had one of the longest fight scenes ever. I was dreading this because as a woman who has sat through far too many Jackie Chan movies, there's only so much jumping and grunting and punching and swiping I can take.

I was pleasantly surprised with the fight scenes, particularly the very long one between Anakin and Obi Wan. It had an element of Soap Opera style drama and the scenario and setting changed several times, which held my interest.

We had some head-chopping, hand-chopping, leg-chopping, I'm-melting action, which was compelling and not over-the-top gory. Just enough spice on that.

Hayden Christensen is a bit metrosexual for me in real life, but as Anakin Skywalker, he was quite tasty. At one point I noticed that he actually has better skin than Natalie Portman (not her real name, btw). He was ok as a Jedi, but his appeal gained major points as he began gravitating to the dark side. A dark Anakin is a sexy Anakin. I don't know about his bed scene. It didn't look like that would be his real chest. I guess it was, but I suspect it was amped up with some make up.

And it's true. Chicks dig scars.

Just to be honest, I was rooting for evil in this movie. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dark side was the sexy side. Maybe because his quest to save his wife brought out the girly emotional stuff in me (of course, I'm not sure why he wanted to save someone he treated so crappily...I'd suggest some marriage counseling sessions). The dark side is just cooler.

I noticed that George Lucas has a ledge fetish. If you have two people near a ledge, a fight is going to break out. If a fight has broken out, something nearby is going to turn into a ledge. Not that I'm complaining. I have a fear of heights, so the ledge thing adds to the suspense for me.

I was surprised to discover that a Jedi a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away had a dangling belly ring, but I guess some styles are timeless.

Padme's pregnancy attire was interesting. I'm not sure I'd want to sleep with a string of pearls around my arms and back, but maybe they were really soft pearls or people in that galaxy are heavier sleepers.

I was impressed that after the birth of the twins and Padme's subsequent death, she was still visibly large during the funeral procession. Most movies show pregnant women as immediately shrinking down to their pre-pregnancy weight after a delivery, but in truth, most women still look pregnant (not just a bit pudgy, but actually pregnant) for a few days after the birth of their babies. It was a nice touch.

I liked the comical sounds the robots and droids and such made when they were fighting or injured. Cute.

I thought the end scene where Anakin is fitted with the classic Darth Vader gear was...totally gay. It wasn't really dark or anything. Just corny. And then at the end when he screams "Noooooooooooo!"...again, totally gay. (Respect to gay people, the word gay here is being used as an adjective to mean silly and over-the-top, queen-like...if this offends you, my apologies. Please write an article about how prejudice and hate-filled I am. I'll read it and feel bad and you'll have your revenge.)

Overall, this was a good movie. Not as good as Return to Me or Gladiator, but still good. I didn't fall asleep and I didn't talk that much (yeah, that was me). I did have to take a neighbor kid to the bathroom two times and missed the big wookie battle, but I'll live. I'm satisfied that my $6.75 was well spent.

Comments (Page 1)
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on May 23, 2005
*Uses her dark-side light saber to nudge this one into the forums*
on May 23, 2005

I noticed that George Lucas has a ledge fetish. If you have two people near a ledge, a fight is going to break out. If a fight has broken out, something nearby is going to turn into a ledge.

Hilarious. With everything else going on I didn't even notice that.

I couldn't agree with you  more about the "noooo!" scene. That's what someone should have said to Lucas before they shot that. "Nooooooooooooo!"

Great review!

on May 23, 2005

Unlike the real fanatics like Zoomba, I saw it because of my son.  I hoped for more, and was disappointed with the vader conversion.  But the rest was ok.  Funny you should mention the ledge thing.  Now that you mention it, I realize it, and that may have been why i only give it 2.5 stars out of 4 (I hate heights and ledges are tops on the list).

Very good review.  Kind of surprised by the root for the dark side, but then you are a woman, and I do not pretend to understand women!

on May 23, 2005
Cordelia:
Hilarious. With everything else going on I didn't even notice that.


Hehehe...I have no idea why I notice stuff like that...but it's true!

I couldn't agree with you more about the "noooo!" scene. That's what someone should have said to Lucas before they shot that. "Nooooooooooooo!"


Yeah, that should have been a very dark, painful scene but ended up being so corny that I felt nothing.

Great review!


Thanks!

Dr.Guy:
Unlike the real fanatics like Zoomba, I saw it because of my son.


We took the kids and a neighbor's child to see it...Adrian and I probably would have seen it anyways, but it was fun to have the kids along...they wore their Star Wars t-shirts and had red (dark side) and blue (light side) mohawks. It was fun.

I hoped for more, and was disappointed with the vader conversion.


I think a lot of people were. He didn't seem to have the level of internal conflict that he should have had in his conversion.

Funny you should mention the ledge thing. Now that you mention it, I realize it, and that may have been why i only give it 2.5 stars out of 4 (I hate heights and ledges are tops on the list).


Hehehe...it does add a bit of a punch to the fight scenes...an extra element of danger.

Very good review.


Thanks.

Kind of surprised by the root for the dark side, but then you are a woman, and I do not pretend to understand women!


Hahaha...I don't quite understand it myself. Although, it didn't seem as though he was doing dispicable things that would make the audience able to truly hate him...sure, he murdered the Jedi children and other allies and messed everything up, but none of it seemed to have the gravity or inspire the outrage that it should have...his most evil deeds almost seemed downplayed in the film...to me, anyways.
on May 23, 2005
I guess that comment was so important I had to say it twice.
on May 23, 2005
Now that was a funny review, good job And yes, the nooooooo scene could have been much much better.
on May 23, 2005
Danny:
Now that was a funny review, good job


Thank you!

And yes, the nooooooo scene could have been much much better.


Hahhaa...so far that seems to be the consensus.
on May 23, 2005
d'oh! I did it again!
on May 23, 2005
Heh, well i havent seen the movie, actually *whispers* i havent seen any of them... *Loud voice again* But i've seen the original when i was 6 or 7

I still thought your review was fun
on May 23, 2005

Although, it didn't seem as though he was doing dispicable things that would make the audience able to truly hate him..

You see that is it.  Women see good in all things. men are black and white!  That explains it!

on May 23, 2005

I guess that comment was so important I had to say it twice.

Of course!

on May 23, 2005
I will let ya know tex how I feel about it in my OLD FART review next month..
on May 23, 2005

Hey, did you/are you going to let your boys see it?  I heard from many that my two would be fine seeing it.  My hubby and I might go see it Thurs to see if it is okay for the boys.  If it is, my hubby will go again with them.

BTW, you weren't the only one rooting for the dark side.  I heard that from a lot of people who saw it.  Oh, and you didn't spoil anything for me

on May 23, 2005
islandgurl:
Heh, well i havent seen the movie, actually *whispers* i havent seen any of them... *Loud voice again* But i've seen the original when i was 6 or 7


Tsk, tsk...

Just kidding...I've only seen them because I had no choice, hehe.

I still thought your review was fun


Thanks!

DrGuy:
You see that is it. Women see good in all things. men are black and white! That explains it!


There may be something to that...hahaha...left brain/right brain kinda stuff. I'll have to do some more research and get back to you...you think they'll give me federal funding to find out why a woman would root for the dark side?

Of course!


Hehe...JU gives me trouble some times...course it could be the nut behind the wheel...

Moderateman:
I will let ya know tex how I feel about it in my OLD FART review next month..


You know, the bases aren't really covered until we hear from an old fart about the topic! Hahahaha...

Jill:
Hey, did you/are you going to let your boys see it? I heard from many that my two would be fine seeing it. My hubby and I might go see it Thurs to see if it is okay for the boys. If it is, my hubby will go again with them.


We did take the boys...and I would say it comes down to how sensitive your kids may be. There was violence that resulted in mutilations, but it was very...hmm...clean, maybe?

It was not disturbing or gory. The scene where Padme is giving birth might be intense for some children, and the end scene with Anakin on fire is fairly graphic, but none of it was disturbing or gory on a level that I felt concerned about my children seeing it.

We have always discussed at length that movies are people pretending and that many things are tricks or computer-generated images, so I feel like they have a pretty good handle on it.

If your boys are like mine, it won't phase them.

The thing I was most concerned about was the slaughter of Jedi children, but the killing was only implied, and the bodies we saw just looked like children sleeping. I don't know that my boys even noticed it.

BTW, you weren't the only one rooting for the dark side. I heard that from a lot of people who saw it.


Hahahhaa...at least I'm not the only twisted freak!

Oh, and you didn't spoil anything for me


Good to hear that...
on May 24, 2005
They showed Padme as still "large" to help hide Luke and Leia. That way it would look like she AND the babies had died. The children could be protected better under the assumption that they were dead.
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