Just so you know, I WILL spoil this movie for you
Published on May 23, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Misc
Well, JU is filled with Episode III reviews with all sorts of takes on the content and script and the acting and the message of the film. There's simply nothing more that can be said about Episode III, right? There's no more room for yet another review, is there?

Well, if Texas Wahine hasn't covered it, it simply hasn't been covered!

This will be a bit random, so try to hang with me...

I thought this was by far the best of the prequels. It actually made sense, and it helped me understand some of the other ones a little bit better. The action and fight scenes were great. The acting was...adequate. There was a bit of emotional turmoil. And the evil was way cool.

I had heard that Episode III had one of the longest fight scenes ever. I was dreading this because as a woman who has sat through far too many Jackie Chan movies, there's only so much jumping and grunting and punching and swiping I can take.

I was pleasantly surprised with the fight scenes, particularly the very long one between Anakin and Obi Wan. It had an element of Soap Opera style drama and the scenario and setting changed several times, which held my interest.

We had some head-chopping, hand-chopping, leg-chopping, I'm-melting action, which was compelling and not over-the-top gory. Just enough spice on that.

Hayden Christensen is a bit metrosexual for me in real life, but as Anakin Skywalker, he was quite tasty. At one point I noticed that he actually has better skin than Natalie Portman (not her real name, btw). He was ok as a Jedi, but his appeal gained major points as he began gravitating to the dark side. A dark Anakin is a sexy Anakin. I don't know about his bed scene. It didn't look like that would be his real chest. I guess it was, but I suspect it was amped up with some make up.

And it's true. Chicks dig scars.

Just to be honest, I was rooting for evil in this movie. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dark side was the sexy side. Maybe because his quest to save his wife brought out the girly emotional stuff in me (of course, I'm not sure why he wanted to save someone he treated so crappily...I'd suggest some marriage counseling sessions). The dark side is just cooler.

I noticed that George Lucas has a ledge fetish. If you have two people near a ledge, a fight is going to break out. If a fight has broken out, something nearby is going to turn into a ledge. Not that I'm complaining. I have a fear of heights, so the ledge thing adds to the suspense for me.

I was surprised to discover that a Jedi a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away had a dangling belly ring, but I guess some styles are timeless.

Padme's pregnancy attire was interesting. I'm not sure I'd want to sleep with a string of pearls around my arms and back, but maybe they were really soft pearls or people in that galaxy are heavier sleepers.

I was impressed that after the birth of the twins and Padme's subsequent death, she was still visibly large during the funeral procession. Most movies show pregnant women as immediately shrinking down to their pre-pregnancy weight after a delivery, but in truth, most women still look pregnant (not just a bit pudgy, but actually pregnant) for a few days after the birth of their babies. It was a nice touch.

I liked the comical sounds the robots and droids and such made when they were fighting or injured. Cute.

I thought the end scene where Anakin is fitted with the classic Darth Vader gear was...totally gay. It wasn't really dark or anything. Just corny. And then at the end when he screams "Noooooooooooo!"...again, totally gay. (Respect to gay people, the word gay here is being used as an adjective to mean silly and over-the-top, queen-like...if this offends you, my apologies. Please write an article about how prejudice and hate-filled I am. I'll read it and feel bad and you'll have your revenge.)

Overall, this was a good movie. Not as good as Return to Me or Gladiator, but still good. I didn't fall asleep and I didn't talk that much (yeah, that was me). I did have to take a neighbor kid to the bathroom two times and missed the big wookie battle, but I'll live. I'm satisfied that my $6.75 was well spent.

Comments (Page 2)
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on May 24, 2005
They showed Padme as still "large" to help hide Luke and Leia. That way it would look like she AND the babies had died. The children could be protected better under the assumption that they were dead.
Good Point!
on May 24, 2005
and I would say it comes down to how sensitive your kids may be.


I took my girl to see it, and made her cover her eyes during 2 parts, but she wasn't freaked out about any of it. We've seen all of those movies billions of times, there was no way she wasn't going, according to her. However, we did see the new trailer for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and she said that there was no way I was taking her to that one... the reason? The Lion looked too scary.

Hmmm.
on May 24, 2005
I absolutly loved the movie! It was awesome, and also my favorite out of all the Star Wars. I love it when Yoda fights. He's so awesome for a short, green dude!!

I was impressed that after the birth of the twins and Padme's subsequent death, she was still visibly large during the funeral procession. Most movies show pregnant women as immediately shrinking down to their pre-pregnancy weight after a delivery, but in truth, most women still look pregnant (not just a bit pudgy, but actually pregnant) for a few days after the birth of their babies. It was a nice touch.


They purposly made her look that way so that nobody would know she ever had the kids. If so, they might try to come and hunt them down to kill them and stop them from becoming Jedis. I don't know if somebody already answered that for you.(sorry but I didn't bother to read a lot of the comments.)

~carebear~


on May 24, 2005
It wasn't the "Noooooooo!" itself so much that bothered me, but rather the Frankenstein Rip And Lurch move that Vader used to get off the table. Ripping his arms free of the wrist shackles and taking his first couple of lumbering, locked-knee steps was just so trite and obvious that it destroyed any emotional value that the scene could have had.

And yeah, the scenes with him and Padme Amidala were all just mediocre at best.

It was nice to see Chewbacca, though. And the rest of the movie was pretty decent. Giving some allowance for the filler time between II and III for Palpatine's and Anakin's "friendship" to develop, I thought Palpatine's manipulation of Anakin and his mastery of the political and psychological niceties was quite well done. And Count Dooku was pretty damn spry for an 80-year-old actor. The only other thing that kind of irked me was that the Jedi were so completely unable to root out Palpatine as the Sith Lord in spite of being in practically constant contact with him for years. He had to actually TELL Anakin that he was a Sith before ANYbody had even a suspicion of him. Why didn't anybody "search their feelings" about him properly?
on May 24, 2005
Great review Tex. On the strength of this, I am going to go see it.

BTW, I've always thought the Dark Siders were having more fun anyway. They're not living on desert planets or hiding out in swamps. And they have heaps of minions to do all their dirty work as well.

Thanks for this,

Cheers,

Maso
on May 25, 2005
I really loved your review Tex. It's actually great to read it from a girls perspective! After all we do see things differently than the guys! I might wait for the dvd too like Whip. Alas, my son won't let me.
on May 25, 2005
Jenn:
They showed Padme as still "large" to help hide Luke and Leia. That way it would look like she AND the babies had died. The children could be protected better under the assumption that they were dead.


Hahhaa...that seems obvious now, but I didn't catch that as I was watching. Thanks.

Nicky:
I took my girl to see it, and made her cover her eyes during 2 parts, but she wasn't freaked out about any of it.


Nice to hear from another parent who's child has seen it. I think it really depends on how sensitive/mature a child is, but it didn't seem to be a problem for my boys, either.

However, we did see the new trailer for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and she said that there was no way I was taking her to that one... the reason? The Lion looked too scary.


I'm sorry to hear that...I am interested in getting my 7 year old into those books, and a movie to go along with it would be great. I haven't seen the trailers yet, but I'll keep your thoughts in mind.

Carebear:
I absolutly loved the movie! It was awesome, and also my favorite out of all the Star Wars. I love it when Yoda fights. He's so awesome for a short, green dude!!


It was a good movie. Evidently, there are a lot of Yoda fans out there (he annoys me...I know that's blasphemous, but he does).

They purposly made her look that way so that nobody would know she ever had the kids. If so, they might try to come and hunt them down to kill them and stop them from becoming Jedis. I don't know if somebody already answered that for you.(sorry but I didn't bother to read a lot of the comments.)


Yeah, thanks.

citahellion:
It wasn't the "Noooooooo!" itself so much that bothered me, but rather the Frankenstein Rip And Lurch move that Vader used to get off the table. Ripping his arms free of the wrist shackles and taking his first couple of lumbering, locked-knee steps was just so trite and obvious that it destroyed any emotional value that the scene could have had.


I agree...that whole scene just seemed too silly and over-the-top to me.

And yeah, the scenes with him and Padme Amidala were all just mediocre at best.


I've always thought that Natalie Portman was a good actress, but the relationship between Anakin and Padme left a lot to be desired.

Giving some allowance for the filler time between II and III for Palpatine's and Anakin's "friendship" to develop, I thought Palpatine's manipulation of Anakin and his mastery of the political and psychological niceties was quite well done.


I'm kind of torn on that. I think Anakin's conversion seemed a bit too quick and forced, and yet, since I was kind of rooting for the dark side anyways, Palpatine's suggestions and manipulation was intriguing.

And Count Dooku was pretty damn spry for an 80-year-old actor.


Hahahhaa...no kidding...

The only other thing that kind of irked me was that the Jedi were so completely unable to root out Palpatine as the Sith Lord in spite of being in practically constant contact with him for years. He had to actually TELL Anakin that he was a Sith before ANYbody had even a suspicion of him. Why didn't anybody "search their feelings" about him properly?


Bwahahahahaha...yep.

Maso:
Great review Tex. On the strength of this, I am going to go see it.


Thanks!

BTW, I've always thought the Dark Siders were having more fun anyway. They're not living on desert planets or hiding out in swamps. And they have heaps of minions to do all their dirty work as well.


Exactly!

little whip:
Thanks for the review, Tex.

I'll wait for the dvd.


Hehehe...I would have too if I'd had a choice. But I'm glad I went. It was entertaining and a pretty fun experience to watch it with the boys.

ForeverSerenity:
I really loved your review Tex. It's actually great to read it from a girls perspective! After all we do see things differently than the guys!


Thanks! I know not all women see things the way I do, but I think we do tend to notice and enjoy different aspects of movies than the guys do.

I might wait for the dvd too like Whip. Alas, my son won't let me.


Hehe...I know the feeling. It is a good movie, though, and you'll get as much out of your son's excitement as you do the movie. Pretty fun.
on May 25, 2005
I agree that the evilness of the darkside was downplayed a lot, but I suppose that they were trying to keep it relatively clean so that parents wouldn't feel bad about taking their kids to see a PG-13 movie.

It makes more sense to me now why Anakin would turn to the dark side. Lucas obviously took the approach of "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." And apparently he doesn't believe in redemption, because once he starts down the path, he doesn't turn back for years until his son begs him for help.

Also, a fallen hero isn't nearly as cool as an evil villain, even a redeemed one. Vader is much cooler in the later episodes. But then I lost all respect for Anakin in Episode II when he showed himself to be a whiny brat.
on May 25, 2005
CariElf:
I agree that the evilness of the darkside was downplayed a lot, but I suppose that they were trying to keep it relatively clean so that parents wouldn't feel bad about taking their kids to see a PG-13 movie.


I think you're probably right...the rating (well, that and the media constantly played clips of the actors warning that the movie was not suitable for kids) had me concerned about taking them.

It makes more sense to me now why Anakin would turn to the dark side. Lucas obviously took the approach of "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."


Yeah, and I liked that. I don't think that acting was so great in relation to his concern about Padme and his conversion to the dark side, but the concept was interesting.

But then I lost all respect for Anakin in Episode II when he showed himself to be a whiny brat.


Hahahahahaa...yeah...
on May 27, 2005
there are a lot of Yoda fans out there (he annoys me...I know that's blasphemous, but he does).


I always thought of you as a particularly smart lady. Now you've proved it. I have always thought of Yoda as an over-ripened frog with vocal chords. The most annoying thing about him is his particularly vernacular. You would think that someone(thing?) with so much of 'The Force' coursing through their veins, they'd be able to pick up how to put a sentence together properly.

For all you Yoda fans out there, I would say I'm sorry for dissing your little man, but I'd be lying.

Cheers,

Maso

on May 27, 2005

For all you Yoda fans out there, I would say I'm sorry for dissing your little man, but I'd be lying.

Be consumed by the Dark Side, you Will.

on May 27, 2005

islandgurl: Heh, well i havent seen the movie, actually *whispers* i havent seen any of them... *Loud voice again* But i've seen the original when i was 6 or 7


Tsk, tsk...

Just kidding...I've only seen them because I had no choice, hehe.


I on the other hand saw the original one 13 times in the first week it was out.
on May 27, 2005

For all you Yoda fans out there, I would say I'm sorry for dissing your little man, but I'd be lying.


Get you for that he will!
on May 27, 2005
I took the boys and they loved it. The little one asked me if the younglings were dead or sleeping. I told him they were playing dead. True, right?!

I think it would have been a better film if Lucas hadn't directed it. Depth of character was certainly not the emphasis. The initial battle seen was awesome though!

I plan to go again sans children. I had to take the little one potty twice which caused me to miss a good part of Wookie world and when Padme arrived on the lava planet. There was just soooo much to take in! I could probably see it a couple of more times.
on May 27, 2005
Get you for that he will


Um, Hmm!
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