Just so you know, I WILL spoil this movie for you
Published on May 23, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Misc
Well, JU is filled with Episode III reviews with all sorts of takes on the content and script and the acting and the message of the film. There's simply nothing more that can be said about Episode III, right? There's no more room for yet another review, is there?

Well, if Texas Wahine hasn't covered it, it simply hasn't been covered!

This will be a bit random, so try to hang with me...

I thought this was by far the best of the prequels. It actually made sense, and it helped me understand some of the other ones a little bit better. The action and fight scenes were great. The acting was...adequate. There was a bit of emotional turmoil. And the evil was way cool.

I had heard that Episode III had one of the longest fight scenes ever. I was dreading this because as a woman who has sat through far too many Jackie Chan movies, there's only so much jumping and grunting and punching and swiping I can take.

I was pleasantly surprised with the fight scenes, particularly the very long one between Anakin and Obi Wan. It had an element of Soap Opera style drama and the scenario and setting changed several times, which held my interest.

We had some head-chopping, hand-chopping, leg-chopping, I'm-melting action, which was compelling and not over-the-top gory. Just enough spice on that.

Hayden Christensen is a bit metrosexual for me in real life, but as Anakin Skywalker, he was quite tasty. At one point I noticed that he actually has better skin than Natalie Portman (not her real name, btw). He was ok as a Jedi, but his appeal gained major points as he began gravitating to the dark side. A dark Anakin is a sexy Anakin. I don't know about his bed scene. It didn't look like that would be his real chest. I guess it was, but I suspect it was amped up with some make up.

And it's true. Chicks dig scars.

Just to be honest, I was rooting for evil in this movie. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dark side was the sexy side. Maybe because his quest to save his wife brought out the girly emotional stuff in me (of course, I'm not sure why he wanted to save someone he treated so crappily...I'd suggest some marriage counseling sessions). The dark side is just cooler.

I noticed that George Lucas has a ledge fetish. If you have two people near a ledge, a fight is going to break out. If a fight has broken out, something nearby is going to turn into a ledge. Not that I'm complaining. I have a fear of heights, so the ledge thing adds to the suspense for me.

I was surprised to discover that a Jedi a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away had a dangling belly ring, but I guess some styles are timeless.

Padme's pregnancy attire was interesting. I'm not sure I'd want to sleep with a string of pearls around my arms and back, but maybe they were really soft pearls or people in that galaxy are heavier sleepers.

I was impressed that after the birth of the twins and Padme's subsequent death, she was still visibly large during the funeral procession. Most movies show pregnant women as immediately shrinking down to their pre-pregnancy weight after a delivery, but in truth, most women still look pregnant (not just a bit pudgy, but actually pregnant) for a few days after the birth of their babies. It was a nice touch.

I liked the comical sounds the robots and droids and such made when they were fighting or injured. Cute.

I thought the end scene where Anakin is fitted with the classic Darth Vader gear was...totally gay. It wasn't really dark or anything. Just corny. And then at the end when he screams "Noooooooooooo!"...again, totally gay. (Respect to gay people, the word gay here is being used as an adjective to mean silly and over-the-top, queen-like...if this offends you, my apologies. Please write an article about how prejudice and hate-filled I am. I'll read it and feel bad and you'll have your revenge.)

Overall, this was a good movie. Not as good as Return to Me or Gladiator, but still good. I didn't fall asleep and I didn't talk that much (yeah, that was me). I did have to take a neighbor kid to the bathroom two times and missed the big wookie battle, but I'll live. I'm satisfied that my $6.75 was well spent.

Comments (Page 3)
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on May 28, 2005
Maso:
I always thought of you as a particularly smart lady. Now you've proved it.


Thank you, hehe.

I have always thought of Yoda as an over-ripened frog with vocal chords. The most annoying thing about him is his particularly vernacular. You would think that someone(thing?) with so much of 'The Force' coursing through their veins, they'd be able to pick up how to put a sentence together properly.


You've covered it pretty well, Maso. He looks weird, and not cute weird or interesting weird. His voice sounds like a cat trying to cough up a hairball, and you'd think that someone of his age and stature would have picked up on how to structure a sentence at some point along the way.

Annoying!

Dr.Guy:
Be consumed by the Dark Side, you Will.


Now THAT would be cool...if you end up consumed by the Dark Side, Maso, see if you can secure me a spot, too.

Jill: I'm glad to hear that you took them!

The little one asked me if the younglings were dead or sleeping. I told him they were playing dead. True, right?!


Nice mommy move! I thought the scenes with the younglings were tastefully done...a kid would only catch as much as he or she was mature enough to notice.

Depth of character was certainly not the emphasis. The initial battle seen was awesome though!


I agree.

had to take the little one potty twice which caused me to miss a good part of Wookie world and when Padme arrived on the lava planet.


There had to have been some sort of conspiracy. I had to take the neighbor kid to the bathroom two times as well, and I missed the entire Wookie scene.

Enjoy your childless screening, hehe! I'm envious.
on May 29, 2005
Be consumed by the Dark Side, you Will


*affects a deep effected voice* What makes you think I'm not already consumed by 'It'. (I'm actually more consumed by the Gray Side, the lest know of the Sides of the Force, which means I'm not so bad as those on the Dark Side, more just naughty and cheeky )

Cheers,

Maso
on May 29, 2005
Seen this movie yesterday, I have. Enjoyed it, I did. Anakin's conversion was great, I thought. Liked the dark side, I always have, Palpatine especially. My favorite, he is. Next to R2D2.

(That was my revenge for dissing Yoda! )
on May 30, 2005
Maso:
(I'm actually more consumed by the Gray Side, the lest know of the Sides of the Force, which means I'm not so bad as those on the Dark Side, more just naughty and cheeky


Sounds beautiful! Can I join you there?

NJForever:
(That was my revenge for dissing Yoda!


Sooooo wrong, hehe.

Liked the dark side, I always have, Palpatine especially.


Well, at least you prove that it isn't only the chicks that dig the dark side. It's just cooler somehow, hehe.

Palpatine? Really?
on May 30, 2005
Tex,

Sounds beautiful! Can I join you there?


What makes you think you're not already there? Can't you feel the Froth*? Use the Froth, Tex, use the Froth...

Cheers,

Maso

* (a lighter version of the Force, less temperamental and easier to control. The only problem with the Froth is you can't lift heavy objects just using your mind)
on May 30, 2005
Maso:
What makes you think you're not already there? Can't you feel the Froth*? Use the Froth, Tex, use the Froth...


Hahaha...I LOVE that...it may annoy my husband, but the Froth has officially become a part of my lexicon. Yes, the Froth is strong in me.

(Lifting objects in my mind would help with housework, but the loss of that ability is worth it when weighed against the great benefits of the grey side, hehe)
on May 30, 2005
Palpatine? Really?


Yeah. He's just so cool, how he manipulates, and how he knows everything (or at least until the Ewoks start attacking Imperials ). And the Force lightning! Does anyone else use that? I think not.
on May 31, 2005
the Froth has officially become a part of my lexicon


Heheheh... Glad you liked it. And to be clear; the Froth is not something that comes easily to most (but it can be found easily on top of a cappuccino).

Quite frankly, being able to lift heavy objects with one's mind is over-rated anyway. And if you don't bend properly, you can easily put out your frontal lobes. Trust me, this is not a good look...

s my revenge for dissing Yoda!


Had, you've been...

Cheers,

Maso
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