Here's my tattoo . . . I am so in love with it. Right now it kind of hurts a little bit, but I'm trying not to be a wuss, ha ha ha. Some day when I'm old and I'm getting a spongebath some nursing home worker is going to think it's really cool.

BY Orian (4 year old son of Texas Wahine) This time it stopped snowing. And den I wooked out the window and the snow was gone. And den there was no snow and no presents. And I wooked out the window and I saw the snow gone. And den we opened our presents. And there was dark clouds. I had Power Ranger toothpaste in my stocking and it wasn't nasty and it wasn't dumped. And den the earth was dark. And den there was evil guys and they were on the roof. And the Power Rangers were in ...

BY Xavier (age 7, son of Texas Wahine) The controller on the Luigi's Mansion game whenever you're trying to vacuum that ball when you're on the first boss, it's really hard to push the R button to vacuum it because it's always so tricky. Whenever you try to vacuum it it just rolls toward you but doesn't go onto your vacuum. How are you supposed to shoot ball at the ghost if you can't pick the ball up? It's really tricky. And also when you're in the place where the green ghosts a...

It's hard to eat. I'm still learning how to do it without hurting myself. It's really hard to swallow a pill. It doesn't hurt too much, and it's only a little swollen. I kind of like the warm salt water rinses. And it looks so fucking cool. I got my tongue pierced yesterday. I'm so tough I didn't even wince, ha ha. I've got a pink barbell in right now, and when it heals, I'm going to put in a badass barbell with a skull and crossbones on the top. I have a little trouble ...

Well, today is the day that the boys and I leave for Texas. We have nice, non-stop flight so it should go fairly smoothly. I still haven't packed yet, and I still haven't gone to the store to get the little one some pants (he has outgrown all his pants and only wears shorts now), so I am going to be frantic trying to get all the things done that I need to complete (and yet I am taking the time to sit and write this blog. It makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?). I'm not really into flyi...

I like to sleep. I hate getting up before 9 am. I love pizza. And pasta with just sauce. I could eat one of those two things for every meal. I like a big tall swirl of whipped cream on top of my hot cocoa. I hate driving. I'm a hypochondriac and something's always wrong with me. I get ear infections all the time. Probably because I love to take bubble baths and the water stays in my ears. I love Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I could play Zoo Tycoon for hours and hour...

Stop screaming! Stop fighting! Clean your room! I'm going to put you in the corner! Stop teasing your brother! I can't take the yelling anymore! Stop it, now! *sigh* Save me, Jebus.

I have been trying to get my photos in order and into albums, and I came across a few photos that make me laugh or that are completely bizarre . . . and the ones I'm posting here are just the tip of the ice berg. I got lots more. These are just the first few I came across. I'll start by embarrassing the kids -- here's the spiffy haircut my youngest gave himself a while back. This photo belongs in the dictionary beside the word pessimism. Why, dad, why? Here's...

I was pretty sure about this before, but it has been officially confirmed today. I'm not cool. I didn't know what "emo" was, and turns out I think "emo" sucks now that I know what it is. I drive a white minivan. Uncool. I drink diet soda. Uncool. I buy candles (and spend good money on them, too). Uncool. I currently wear only one band t-shirt (as fate would have it, I'm wearing it today). It's from a Sugar Ray concert (which I though was cool, but since I don't know co...

I have no sympathy for the skinny chicks. Anytime anyone talks about, or writes an article about, the need for body acceptance for curvy girls, inevitably a naturally thin chick will pipe up with, "I can't help it if I'm skinny. You guys are always cutting down skinny girls, but I'd be in trouble if I called a big girl a cow." NEWS FLASH SKINNY GIRLS: You have not been persecuted. You are idolized. You see your image on TV, in magazines, in movies, on mannequins, in catalogs, on b...

I don't have a daughter. Evidently God feels I am the sort of mom who needs only rowdy, grimy little boys. No matter what anyone tries to tell you, boys and girls are inherently different. Give boys dolls and they will tear off the arms and use them as guns. This is just the way it is. Give little girls GI Joes, and suddenly Barbie has a new love interest (shhh . . . don't tell Ken!). This is just the way it is. Some things can't be helped, but some things can. Your second grade...