Published on January 6, 2006 By Texas Wahine In Blogging
It's a man's world, right?

Females are subject to discrimination, injustice, and prejudice the world over, including America. Our society chooses to punish women and praise men for the same actions. Our society promotes the idea that women are too emotional and unstable, and not smart enough or physically capable to surpass a man in a given situation.

When a woman expresses anger or disgust, it is assumed that she is being overwhelmed by her fragile female emotions and not thinking clearly, and thus whatever she says should be disregarded. When a man expresses anger or disgust, it is not only his right, but he is given a pass for irrational and even violent behavior because it is considered acceptable for males.

Despite the strides women are making in the workforce and in politics, when a woman makes a mistake or a choice that others don't agree with, she is harpooned with (often cruel) jokes and criticisms targeting her sex.

When the Monica Lewinsky scandal came to light, the women involved were the ones who suffered the criticism. Monica was skewered for being overweight and made out to be a desperate slut. Hilary was laughed at as the cold and controlling wife and often looked to as explanation for why Bill would have an affair. Hilary's size and appearance are made fun of to this day. Bill, while joked about, was never portrayed as a gross, immoral creep, but rather painted as the jolly, smooth and smarmy ladies man. It was never as cruel, hurtful, or personal when it came to him. The women in the scandal were the ones who came out of it looking bad.

When a man sleeps around, it is expected. In fact, if a man doesn't do this, it is considered suspect. Men are expected to give in to their basest instincts and make crude jokes, live irresponsibly, and take advantage of women. No-strings-attached sex is encouraged for young men. Slovenly appearances are accepted as being a "boys will be boys" thing. Violence by men is considered par for the course, and often a blind eye is turned to it. Even being overweight, something females are almost proverbially crucified for, is considered fine for men. A guy can be fat and a complete slob who sleeps with anything that moves, and he is a stud.

When a female sleeps around, she is a slut who doesn't respect herself. Men will sleep with her but later talk about her as if she is the scum of the earth, despite the fact that they live the very same way. Young women are expected to be thin and fit, and if they aren't they're disgusting. They're the "fat chick". All the traits that are considered not only acceptable, but laudable, in young males are strikes against females.

Females are responsible for birth control in sexual encounters. The money for this comes from their pockets, of course. If a female doesn't take her birth control properly, and a pregnancy results, the male feels absolved of all guilt in the matter, despite the fact that he should have been responsible enough to use a condom. Women carry the bulk of the responsibility when it comes to pregnancy prevention and males are bold enough to proclaim, "she tricked me!" or "she told me she was on birth control" when their sexual union brings about a pregnancy. It's the woman's fault, of course.

An unmarried male who sleeps around can impregnate a female and deny his role in the pregnancy. A female who becomes pregnant must face the stigma of being a "slut" and irresponsible and all the other negative criticisms that come in such situations. He can walk away as if nothing happened and be free of responsibility. A female is saddled with the pregnancy which, if allowed to progress, will be an undeniable sign of her promiscuity. If she continues the pregnancy, she will experience the morning sickness, the bladder infections, the weight gain and stretch marks, the heartburn, the gestational diabetes, the high blood pressure, or worse. Her activities and lifestyle will be restricted for nine months while the male is not subject to any change in health, body, or lifestyle. Then there is labor and delivery and the lifelong responsibility of parenthood.

Statistically, when men have affairs the women tend to stay in the relationship. It's a rare situation where a woman has an affair and her husband doesn't divorce her.

Women are the ones who, typically, end up struggling to care for and financially support children after a divorce, while the man enjoys great personal freedom, a better financial situation, and sympathy and admiration from society. The stigma of divorce does not exist for males, but a divorced woman with children will have a much more difficult time finding someone interested in loving her and taking on her "baggage".

Women are expected by society to be trim and fit (but still indulge in pizza and beer and ice cream and cookies), educated and successful, great with domestic tasks (going behind the man and cleaning up after him, but never nagging, of course), beautiful and classy, chaste but salacious, permissive in matters that concern her man's behavior but completely devoted and adoring in her own, independent but needy, intelligent while giving deference to the superior wit of the male...it goes on and on.

Women are expected to be everything to everyone. Women are to be perfect and perfect inverted.

Women are not "queens" who hold all the power. Quite the opposite, actually.




Comments (Page 2)
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on Jan 06, 2006
Why? Because she is ranting and I said I hoped she felt better? That is pretty damn condescending on your part, dont you think?


Sorry, Tex writes a blog about what she thinks, and you respond, "there, there, hope you feel better" as though she couldn't possibily have any thoughts or opinions except out of rage or hormones or PMS...

It was condescending--and very much so. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I went to your blog every time you wrote something and responded with "Wow, hope you feel better, man." It invalidates the thoughts and opinions expressed.
on Jan 06, 2006
Jill:
I agree but think it is something that seems hard wired into our society. Look at the attitudes toward stay-at-home dads. Most people want to think "that's just great" but most have the knee-jerk reaction of "he must have lost his job". Maybe some day it will feel "normal" for the woman to be the bread winner and the man to stay at home with the kids but for the most part we aren't there yet.


That's very true, and a really good example. Men do get the message that they should be involved with their children, teach them, spend time with them on one hand, and on the other, the message is that they are weak, defective, or not manly if they actually fill that fatherhood role (which goes hand-in-hand with the superwoman complex that women are fed...the man is slovenly and acts like a child while the woman fixes all the messes that the lazy, ineffective dad gets the family into, ala prime time TV).

My husband feels that it's his obligation to financially support our family, and I think that's great. Our desires for our family complement each other. However, he is one that would think less of a man if he was a stay-at-home dad...not because he is taking care of the kids, but because he isn't contributing financially.

And that's sad. Men and women should be able to fashion the lives that they find fulfilling, and we should accept that what works for one family will not work for another. I tend to think that small children need a parent (mom or dad) at home with them, but I realize that I'm biased about that. We each contribute to our family's well-being the best way we know how.
on Jan 06, 2006
shades:
It was condescending--and very much so. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I went to your blog every time you wrote something and responded with "Wow, hope you feel better, man." It invalidates the thoughts and opinions expressed


I agree, although I no longer take it personally.

Little Whip:
Your remarks to Tex both here and elsewhere, as well as your remarks to any other female on here that dares to express strong feelings is the equivalant to a "There, there, dear, I understand, it must be 'that' time of the month."


*is keeping her mouth shut*

And no, I'm not on the rag.


Don't you know...if you have opinions or disagree you're either PMSing or you're a bitch. There's no other option.
on Jan 06, 2006
I asked if you were pissed because I like to know the tone of the writing, and sometimes that isn't always clear to me. (and that has nothing to do with the writing.)

I find on JU a lot of people become more eloquent when they are emotionally charged about something.

Having read this article, and it is well written, I was wonderin if you were riled.

You are a little harder to gauge than say Little Whip because when she is aggravated or mad, she incorporates little ~flips the bird~ kind of things.....hehe.

Good article.

(Now I have to go look up the name LW called Doc...ha!)

on Jan 06, 2006
It means 'woman hating.' That should be obvious from his behavior.


Thanks for saving me the trouble of looking it up.

on Jan 06, 2006
Men and women should be able to fashion the lives that they find fulfilling, and we should accept that what works for one family will not work for another


It sure would be better for everyone if everyone could accept that. I am always amazed when someone is defending their alternative lifestyle on one hand and criticizing someone else's on the other. If everyone would just worry about doing what is best for their own family and understand that others are doing the same, we would have a much happier society.
on Jan 06, 2006
OOpies...
on Jan 06, 2006
Sorry...I posted my response under Ryan's account (I pulled a LW...hahaha ).

Dr Guy is a misogynist, plain and simple. There, i said it. I noticed it LONG ago, and its only been recently that others have begun to see it.

You are condescending and dismissive of ANY woman on here that doesnt agree with you as you stridently inform us of your precious opinion about EVERYTHING. No topic escapes your trumpeting, and no person escapes your holier-than-thou scorn unless they toe your particular line.

Your remarks to Tex both here and elsewhere, as well as your remarks to any other female on here that dares to express strong feelings is the equivalant to a "There, there, dear, I understand, it must be 'that' time of the month."

Bite me, Dr. G.

And no, I'm not on the rag.


I agree wholeheartedly. But...again...I have cramps from hell. And we all know how those cramps interfere with neurological function.

Really? I'm tired of my opinions being dismissed by him because I have breasts and a vagina. It's one thing when my opinions are being dismissed because people think they're stupid. But a complete other oxen when they're being dismissed because I have ONE different chromosome.
on Jan 07, 2006
Back to the subject of the blog, men and women do, in general, have different strengths and weaknesses. If you are talking about physical strength, in general (which means please don't chime in that your cousin can bench press 200lbs or you knew a girl in High school who could arm wrestle the biggest guys in school), women are the weaker sex. Women, in general, can multitask better than men. Men, in general, are better at seeing the big picture. Women, in general, are better at noticing what is right in front of them.

I am thankful for the differences of the sexes. I think we compliment each other very well. I don't know very many men who could handle pregnancy and childbirth the way I have. I don't know many women who can focus on a task the way my husband does.

Women have their strengths and men have theirs. Thank God for the differences!
on Jan 07, 2006
If you want to see some truly horrid examples of his misogyny unleashed, check out Tova's article on abortion


Hey LW,

What I got from all that was what I get from most people who have been through a situation, made their choices, and then have to later defend that position as being right even when they may see it is wrong. Because to say outloud it was wrong takes more than most people have....in my experience.

It is kinda funny Tex wrote this article about women and our "moods." Because the two times I have seen (and there may be more I am not the most observant person sometimes) Doc get upset with my opinion or view....I thought his writing became very emotional, hysterical even.

When I read some of his responses to my husband to see if I had indeed been offensive, he laughed and said, "That's not a guy. I think this Doc person has you all fooled."

So then I said to him the same thing Tex says here. "Like men aren't allowed to get upset and hysterical because then it would be called something else, like righteous anger? IT is only women who write emotionally?"

He threw his hands in the air and said, "Hey baby you asked. Maybe it is a man, I don't know. "

HEHE.

Doc...I am sure you are reading this even though you said "good bye."

You were one of the first people on JU to read my stuff and comment and I am appreciative of that. You helped me with some little technical JU things and made me feel welcome.

And I am not slamming you when I say you do tend to take any subject that's been a part of your life somehow personally. Meaning, you seem to get mad when someone's opinions differ on the choices you or someone you loved made.

But isn't that the nature of the beast? We are human, and I don't know about you, but a good portion of my life is filled with horrible, gut wrenching mistakes.

Sorry Tex, didn't mean to take over your blog.

on Jan 07, 2006
Back to the subject of the blog, men and women do, in general, have different strengths and weaknesses. If you are talking about physical strength, in general (which means please don't chime in that your cousin can bench press 200lbs or you knew a girl in High school who could arm wrestle the biggest guys in school), women are the weaker sex. Women, in general, can multitask better than men. Men, in general, are better at seeing the big picture. Women, in general, are better at noticing what is right in front of them.

I am thankful for the differences of the sexes. I think we compliment each other very well. I don't know very many men who could handle pregnancy and childbirth the way I have. I don't know many women who can focus on a task the way my husband does.

Women have their strengths and men have theirs. Thank God for the differences!


Very, very well-said, Jill. You hit the nail on the head.
on Jan 08, 2006
We are in a day and age when women can hold high positions, can be comfortable with their sexuality if they want to be, can express themselves and be assertive if they wish to be...it's pretty sad we still have to deal with some double standard issues.
on Jan 08, 2006
Having a strong female in my life, means we just get to cover all things from all angles, My strengths pick up her weaknessed, her strengths pick up mine.

Nothing better than to have someone at your side, not ahead or behind but right there besides you.
on Jan 08, 2006

Our society chooses to punish women and praise men for the same actions.


"Our society" is us. It is the way _we_ treat people that is the way society treats people. And we are men and women alike.

The way we treat each other can depend on a stupid perception of irrelevant differences (like gender or race when the subject is intelligence or knowledgeability). Society is NOT them, society is us. Particularly society is not men, society is men and women.

And as for Clinton, give me a break:


Bill, while joked about, was never portrayed as a gross, immoral creep


That's not the 1990s I remember.

on Jan 09, 2006
A female is saddled with the pregnancy which, if allowed to progress, will be an undeniable sign of her promiscuity. If she continues the pregnancy, she will experience the morning sickness, the bladder infections, the weight gain and stretch marks, the heartburn, the gestational diabetes, the high blood pressure, or worse. Her activities and lifestyle will be restricted for nine months while the male is not subject to any change in health, body, or lifestyle. Then there is labor and delivery and the lifelong responsibility of parenthood. Something one should consider before mouthing off against a woman's right to choose.
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