Published on January 6, 2006 By Texas Wahine In Blogging
It's a man's world, right?

Females are subject to discrimination, injustice, and prejudice the world over, including America. Our society chooses to punish women and praise men for the same actions. Our society promotes the idea that women are too emotional and unstable, and not smart enough or physically capable to surpass a man in a given situation.

When a woman expresses anger or disgust, it is assumed that she is being overwhelmed by her fragile female emotions and not thinking clearly, and thus whatever she says should be disregarded. When a man expresses anger or disgust, it is not only his right, but he is given a pass for irrational and even violent behavior because it is considered acceptable for males.

Despite the strides women are making in the workforce and in politics, when a woman makes a mistake or a choice that others don't agree with, she is harpooned with (often cruel) jokes and criticisms targeting her sex.

When the Monica Lewinsky scandal came to light, the women involved were the ones who suffered the criticism. Monica was skewered for being overweight and made out to be a desperate slut. Hilary was laughed at as the cold and controlling wife and often looked to as explanation for why Bill would have an affair. Hilary's size and appearance are made fun of to this day. Bill, while joked about, was never portrayed as a gross, immoral creep, but rather painted as the jolly, smooth and smarmy ladies man. It was never as cruel, hurtful, or personal when it came to him. The women in the scandal were the ones who came out of it looking bad.

When a man sleeps around, it is expected. In fact, if a man doesn't do this, it is considered suspect. Men are expected to give in to their basest instincts and make crude jokes, live irresponsibly, and take advantage of women. No-strings-attached sex is encouraged for young men. Slovenly appearances are accepted as being a "boys will be boys" thing. Violence by men is considered par for the course, and often a blind eye is turned to it. Even being overweight, something females are almost proverbially crucified for, is considered fine for men. A guy can be fat and a complete slob who sleeps with anything that moves, and he is a stud.

When a female sleeps around, she is a slut who doesn't respect herself. Men will sleep with her but later talk about her as if she is the scum of the earth, despite the fact that they live the very same way. Young women are expected to be thin and fit, and if they aren't they're disgusting. They're the "fat chick". All the traits that are considered not only acceptable, but laudable, in young males are strikes against females.

Females are responsible for birth control in sexual encounters. The money for this comes from their pockets, of course. If a female doesn't take her birth control properly, and a pregnancy results, the male feels absolved of all guilt in the matter, despite the fact that he should have been responsible enough to use a condom. Women carry the bulk of the responsibility when it comes to pregnancy prevention and males are bold enough to proclaim, "she tricked me!" or "she told me she was on birth control" when their sexual union brings about a pregnancy. It's the woman's fault, of course.

An unmarried male who sleeps around can impregnate a female and deny his role in the pregnancy. A female who becomes pregnant must face the stigma of being a "slut" and irresponsible and all the other negative criticisms that come in such situations. He can walk away as if nothing happened and be free of responsibility. A female is saddled with the pregnancy which, if allowed to progress, will be an undeniable sign of her promiscuity. If she continues the pregnancy, she will experience the morning sickness, the bladder infections, the weight gain and stretch marks, the heartburn, the gestational diabetes, the high blood pressure, or worse. Her activities and lifestyle will be restricted for nine months while the male is not subject to any change in health, body, or lifestyle. Then there is labor and delivery and the lifelong responsibility of parenthood.

Statistically, when men have affairs the women tend to stay in the relationship. It's a rare situation where a woman has an affair and her husband doesn't divorce her.

Women are the ones who, typically, end up struggling to care for and financially support children after a divorce, while the man enjoys great personal freedom, a better financial situation, and sympathy and admiration from society. The stigma of divorce does not exist for males, but a divorced woman with children will have a much more difficult time finding someone interested in loving her and taking on her "baggage".

Women are expected by society to be trim and fit (but still indulge in pizza and beer and ice cream and cookies), educated and successful, great with domestic tasks (going behind the man and cleaning up after him, but never nagging, of course), beautiful and classy, chaste but salacious, permissive in matters that concern her man's behavior but completely devoted and adoring in her own, independent but needy, intelligent while giving deference to the superior wit of the male...it goes on and on.

Women are expected to be everything to everyone. Women are to be perfect and perfect inverted.

Women are not "queens" who hold all the power. Quite the opposite, actually.




Comments (Page 1)
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on Jan 06, 2006
There are a lot of fallacies and generalities within this article.  But I understand a rant and will just say, I hope you feel better.
on Jan 06, 2006
Very well written Tex...are you pissed?

Women are expected by society to be trim and fit (but still indulge in pizza and beer and ice cream and cookies), educated and successful, great with domestic tasks (going behind the man and cleaning up after him, but never nagging, of course), beautiful and classy, chaste but salacious, permissive in matters that concern her man's behavior but completely devoted and adoring in her own, independent but needy, intelligent while giving deference to the superior wit of the male...it goes on and on.

Do you mean you are not all these things! FOR SHAME!! FOR SHAME!!

hahah.

Seriously, I do think we have emaciated the men in this country on some issues, to such an extent, they don't have to have any personal responsibility.

It irked me too when Monica was labeled a slut and Bill the stud. But she WAS a slut. Bill not getting called a slut doesn't negate any of her actions. But he would probably feel uber complimented if called a slut.

Anyway, I don't know what else to say, you said everything so well. ~sighs~

Well maybe one thing. If I were a QUEEN I'd have all male servants who had to wear nothing but loin clothes and be totally buff and handsome....then when they lost their appeal, I'd toss them aside for a younger firmer man servant.

~shakes head~ Wait, that's already been done!

on Jan 06, 2006
"Females are responsible for birth control in sexual encounters. The money for this comes from their pockets"

I agree with pretty much everything said here except this because A)Women don't have to have sex and B)If a woman decides to have sex, they can demand that their partner wear protection.

A lot of the power men have is because women hand it over to them. There are basic differences between the sexes that can't be denied and won't ever change. American women make a lot of choices that cause either a good amount of control over their life or that control handed over to a man.
on Jan 06, 2006
I think too many women choose to give their power away. A lot are weaker because they want to be. Maybe that's because that's what mama did, I don't know.

Is Monica a slut? Is Bill a stud? That is in the eye of the beholder in my opinion.Power would come from not caring less on that question I think. But what do I know? I am a man.

Love you Tex. I see nothing weak in you.
on Jan 06, 2006
Love you Tex. I see nothing weak in you.

Ditto....

Double standards are everywhere, indeed.
on Jan 06, 2006
But I hope you feel better.


That's pretty damn condescending, Dr. Guy.

Tex--Interesting article. I have to agree with Jill's point in #3.
on Jan 06, 2006
never saw women as the weaker sex, the FAIRER sex for sure.

MM likes women.
on Jan 06, 2006
There are a lot of fallacies and generalities within this article. But I understand a rant and will just say, I hope you feel better.


Yup, DG...you just proved THIS point of Tex's:
When a woman expresses anger or disgust, it is assumed that she is being overwhelmed by her fragile female emotions and not thinking clearly, and thus whatever she says should be disregarded.


I think the point here is that men have to deal with some crap and women have to deal with some crap. Not who has to deal with the "worst" crap.

Brandie didn't say she was feeling poorly or pissed, or was even PMSing.

Get a grip!
on Jan 06, 2006
Dr.Guy:
There are a lot of fallacies and generalities within this article.


I am confident in my assertions. If you'd like to refute them, feel free.

I hope you feel better.


Thanks, but that's not necessary. I don't feel bad.

Tova:
Very well written Tex...are you pissed?


Thanks...and...no. Haha. Should I be?

Do you mean you are not all these things! FOR SHAME!! FOR SHAME!!


I am the ones worth being, hahaa.

Seriously, I do think we have emaciated the men in this country on some issues, to such an extent, they don't have to have any personal responsibility.


I don't know that women are to blame for that, really. I'm young, so I don't have a good historical perspective on this, but it seems that society expects so much less from men, and many, though not all, are happy to oblige.

I realize that this is the world we live in and that we (women) have to accept and work around these realities, but I certainly don't think men have the footing to claim victim status and decry the all-encompassing power of women. There are aspects of society that are unfair to men, indeed, but in many, many, many circumstances, the scales are tipped in their favor.

It irked me too when Monica was labeled a slut and Bill the stud. But she WAS a slut. Bill not getting called a slut doesn't negate any of her actions. But he would probably feel uber complimented if called a slut.


Right. I think what she did was abhorrent, and I don't consider her to be someone of upstanding moral character, but at the same time, you didn't hear the level of deeply personal hurtful comments being directed at him that you did at her (or any of the other women who have alleged misconduct on Clinton's part).

Well maybe one thing. If I were a QUEEN I'd have all male servants who had to wear nothing but loin clothes and be totally buff and handsome....then when they lost their appeal, I'd toss them aside for a younger firmer man servant.


Hahahahhaahahahaha. If I were queen I'd have a baking sheet that doesn't warp when it's in the oven and wireless capable laptop.

JillUser:
I agree with pretty much everything said here except this because A)Women don't have to have sex and B)If a woman decides to have sex, they can demand that their partner wear protection.


I agree, with the my only contention being that when a pregnancy occurs, a male who has not used a condom and taken personal responsibility for the birth control should not cry "poor me". Both partners much understand their role in safe sex and take responsibility for their actions.

Obviously if a man does not want to use a condom a woman can simply refuse to have sex. The problem I have is more with the assignment of blame by a man when he has an equal responsibility. If a woman lies about using birth control or uses it incorrectly, it does not make the man a victim, as he is obligated to take steps to prevent pregnancy as well.

A lot of the power men have is because women hand it over to them. There are basic differences between the sexes that can't be denied and won't ever change. American women make a lot of choices that cause either a good amount of control over their life or that control handed over to a man.


I do agree with this, actually. However, when a woman *doesn't* hand that power over and follow tradition, she is often labeled a "bitch" or a "ball buster". There is a stigma attached to being a powerful woman.

I also agree that there are innate differences between the sexes that are the result of nature rather than nurture (although the nurture aspect makes the differences more pronounced). These differences, however, are to be appreciated rather than used as justification for misogyny.

Shovelheat:
I think too many women choose to give their power away. A lot are weaker because they want to be. Maybe that's because that's what mama did, I don't know.


This is true. Sometimes it's because it's "easier" or sometimes just because it is more pleasant. However, often times women shy away from power because society tells them that they can't handle it, and further, there is that stigma attached to being a woman who controls her own destiny and provides leadership for others.

I am fairly traditional in the way I live...stay-at-home mom, I cook and clean, hell I even "serve" my husband his meals, bringing his food and drink to him and asking him if he needs me to get him anything. I find joy in this because it's a way for me to express my love for him, and because it's something I choose. If he demanded it of me, it would not be meaningful and I would reject it.

Strength doesn't have to mean bucking tradition just for the sake of it, but rather fearlessly making choices and being responsible for oneself and reaching one's potential. IMO, anyways.

Power would come from not caring less on that question I think.


Hahahhahaaha...but EVERYONE cares about who's sleeping with who.

Love you Tex. I see nothing weak in you.


Thank you. That's quite the compliment. It means a lot to me. And the feeling's definitely mutual.

shades:
That's pretty damn condescending, Dr. Guy.




Tex--Interesting article. I have to agree with Jill's point in #3.


Thanks. Just as a general principle I agree with her as well. In a situation where a man is bemoaning being "wronged" by a woman who turns up pregnant, however, I don't think he is in a position to decry it if he has chosen not to be responsible for facilitating safe sex as well.

HC:
Ditto....


Awww...thanks.

Double standards are everywhere, indeed.


Very succinct, and basically the heart of what I was trying to say. Thanks.
on Jan 06, 2006
D'oh! Double post.
on Jan 06, 2006

But I hope you feel better.


That's pretty damn condescending, Dr. Guy.

Why?  Because she is ranting and I said I hoped she felt better?  That is pretty damn condescending on your part, dont you think?

on Jan 06, 2006

I am confident in my assertions. If you'd like to refute them, feel free.

No, I dont care to get into a pissing match.  We can debate them at another time. Bye.

on Jan 06, 2006
Moderateman:
never saw women as the weaker sex, the FAIRER sex for sure.

MM likes women.


Hehe. Why am I not surprised?

You're a doll, elie.

Marcie:
Yup, DG...you just proved THIS point of Tex's: When a woman expresses anger or disgust, it is assumed that she is being overwhelmed by her fragile female emotions and not thinking clearly, and thus whatever she says should be disregarded.


You noticed?

I think the point here is that men have to deal with some crap and women have to deal with some crap. Not who has to deal with the "worst" crap.


Yup. I think that it's absolutely silly for men to complain that women are all-powerful and hold all the cards, when that's obviously not the case.

We all have to deal with unrealistic expectations and prejudices and other "crap". Women get a lot of pressure from society and get a lot of flak as well. Things will never be fair because life just doesn't work that way. We don't have some great advantage though (unless you consider our anatomy a great advantage, hahaha).

Brandie didn't say she was feeling poorly or pissed, or was even PMSing.


Nope. I don't feel bad. I'm not angry. I'm not PMSing. In fact, I'm pretty happy because Adrian's getting off early today, the weekend is coming up, there's money in the bank, some really great groceries in the cabinet, and I'm going to see Jarhead tonight (at my husband's insistence, how great is that?).

I can express my thoughts, even ones that some may not agree with, without being irrational or overemotional, angry, or feeling bad.
on Jan 06, 2006
Dr.Guy:
Because she is ranting and I said I hoped she felt better


It wasn't a rant, although it may read that way. It wasn't written out of anger or sadness or anything else. It was musings sparked by some things I've recently read and seen on TV.

I do appreciate the thought, but I sincerely feel great, and was just sharing my thoughts.

No, I dont care to get into a pissing match. We can debate them at another time. Bye.


I understand that you feel strongly about these issues and that this discussion may make you uncomfortable, and I respect your decision to bow out.
on Jan 06, 2006
Obviously if a man does not want to use a condom a woman can simply refuse to have sex. The problem I have is more with the assignment of blame by a man when he has an equal responsibility


I totally agree!

do agree with this, actually. However, when a woman *doesn't* hand that power over and follow tradition, she is often labeled a "bitch" or a "ball buster". There is a stigma attached to being a powerful woman.
I agree but think it is something that seems hard wired into our society. Look at the attitudes toward stay-at-home dads. Most people want to think "that's just great" but most have the knee-jerk reaction of "he must have lost his job". Maybe some day it will feel "normal" for the woman to be the bread winner and the man to stay at home with the kids but for the most part we aren't there yet.
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