Published on July 10, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Politics
Liberals left muddy footprints on the floor after you'd just mopped.

Liberals ate the last piece of cake that you'd planned on having for breakfast.

Liberals let their dog take a dump on your front lawn.

Liberals shook up your soda before you opened it.

Liberals left the toilet seat up and forgot to flush.

Liberals drank the last of the milk and put the carton back in the fridge.

Liberals got in line in front of you at the post office and paid for their book of stamps with loose change.

Liberals spit their gum out in the parking lot beside your SUV.

Liberals forgot to plug in your cell phone and recharge it overnight.

Liberals sat behind you at the theater and kept kicking your seat and burping during The Fantastic Four.

Liberals left the chip bag open and made the BBQ Ruffles all stale and icky.

Liberals lost every damn one of your black ink pens.

Liberals colored the only cool picture of Darth Vader in your Star Wars coloring book.

Liberals had a loud party outside your house the night before you had to get up at 4 am.

Liberals bought all the text books for your college course before you could make it to the bookstore.

Liberals lost your baby picture. You know, the cute one with you on your parents' bed?

Liberals used a dryer sheet and messed up the starch on your BDUs.

Liberals spilled red Kool-Aid all over your beige carpet.

Liberals used your hammer and didn't put it back in the tool box and now you can't find it.

Liberals brought salad dressing and a bottle of soda to your church dinner and then cut in line and went ahead of the guests and the old people.

Liberals misplaced that really important paper that you absolutely knew was sitting on the counter under your keys.

Liberals drove your car and brought it back with no gas in it so that you have to fill up on the way to work.

Liberals discontinued Heinz Ketchup Kickers and that coral lipstick that looked so good with your complexion.

Liberals didn't refrigerate the potato salad they brought to the family reunion.

Liberals stood in front of you in line at Wal-Mart and bought the one Tweety Bird t-shirt in the store without a price tag.

Liberals broke your favorite coffee mug and didn't bother to tell you about it.

Liberals turned the stereo way up in your car and moved the seat forward so that you couldn't stretch out your legs when you got in.

Liberals messed up the code in your most recent blog so that every single sentence is underlined and neon green.

Liberals left firework debris all over the road and in your yard after the 4th of July.

Liberals got to Red Lobster at the same time as you, but the waiter brought them their stuffed mushrooms before he asked you what you wanted to drink.

Liberals planned a year long construction on the road you use daily so that you have to take a time-consuming detour.

Liberals sent you unsolicited emails for Viagra and gourmet coffee.

Liberals replaced The Simpsons at 5 pm with some new rerun called Girlfriends.

Liberals scratched the Hitch DVD you rented so that you couldn't watch the last 10 minutes.

Liberals left the keys in your front door all night long.

Liberals farted in the elevator.

Liberals walked right next to you and kicked up sand while you were resting on your towel at the beach.

Liberals forgot to set your alarm and made you late for your appointment.

Liberals got tired of thinking of evil and annoying things liberals do and decided to go play Mahjongg.

Comments (Page 2)
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on Jul 11, 2005
Myrrander:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I swear a liberal jumped up and tried to grab my nuts while I was taking a crap earlier, too.

goddam liberals

This article got the first insightful I've handed out in...geez...weeks and weeks.

Woooooooonderful.


Hehe...I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the insightful!

Manopeace:
you really know how to hurt a guy Tex...
That was sooooo cruel.


Well, I keep hearing about how liberals have done all monumental disastrous things to America, and I figured I ought to let the common folk in on the small-scale disastrous things we've been up to as well.

Myrrander:
PS

I am now e-mailing this to annoy my friends. Because that's what liberals do.


Email away!

kingbee:
liberals made you write that.

not to mention making me write this.


Hahhahaa...nope, liberals didn't make me write it. Invisible monkeys did.

little whip:
Cute!

I KNEW there was a vast left wing conspiracy going on, this just proves it!


Thanks! You feel vindicated, dontcha? hehe

Danny:
Imagine that, everyone I live with is a liberal. For that matter, I am too.


Apparently many folks have underestimated the liberal presence in the USA, haha.

Iconoclast:
Liberals turned the salt shaker upside down on the table in the restaurant.


Nice!

What kind of person eats cake for breakfast?


Really? That's weird? Hell, I eat cake for breakfast all the time!

Danny:
Cake for breakfast is yummy


VERY yummy! I have a yellow cake with homemade chocolate icing sitting on my dining room table right now, and I'm having a piece of that bad boy for breakfast tomorrow!

ParaTed2K:
Hilarious Tex!! I laughed until I stopped!!!


Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

I guess they should change the bumpersticker that says, "stupid people shouldn't breed" to "Liberals shouldn't breed".


Hahaha...I've seen worse. "How to piss off a liberal: Work hard and smile."

Bill Cosby Conservatives! ((("Dad is great, he gave us the chocolate cake!))) ;~D


I looooove that! Adrian and I say that all the time.

Dr.Guy:
Bill Cosby. Guess you have never read Fatherhood?


I never read the book (although I suppose I should), but we rented a stand up video of his a few years back, and he did the chocolate cake thing...hilarious. His parenting jokes are so funny and dead on.

dharma:
Liberals down the end of the street let their kids run around with head lice and never bothered to tell anyone else...so half the street got nits. (we got lucky...so far no nits)


You've got it, dharma! If it's annoying or frustrating or just plain sucks...blame it on the liberals! (glad to hear your kids haven't caught the lice that're going around)

Liberals use the last sheets on the toilet roll and don't replace it with a new one.


Great! Hehe...I'm jealous...I wish I had thought of that one!

HW:
Life-happens says: liberals come up with the same blog idea as me and post it first!


Hehehee...damn liberals. Great minds think alike, though, eh? I'd love to see lifehappens' take on this!

Myrrander:
hahahaha I remember this one! "It's got milk and eggs and wheat!"


Exactly!

Anyone remember the Cosby show episode where he gets into Claire's cake and then fills the empty spot with paper towels and covers it with icing? Soooo funny, hehe...my kids would try something like that.
on Jul 11, 2005
I have an old record of Cosby doing standup ("Wonderfulness") that is classic...You guys ever hear the "Chicken Heart bit?"


I used to have all of his early albums.
on Jul 11, 2005
NOAH! How long can you tread water!!!
on Jul 11, 2005
Myrrander, the Chicken heart was hilarious!! (Tha-thump, Tha-thump, Tha-thump). ;~D
on Jul 11, 2005
WOW And I thought liberals were dead!
on Jul 11, 2005
After thought: Liberals unwittingly breed nasty conservatives.
on Jul 11, 2005
After thought: Liberals unwittingly breed


To listen to the "zero population growth" crowd, "unwittingly" is the only way anyone breeds!! ;~D
on Jul 12, 2005
I have an old record of Cosby doing standup ("Wonderfulness") that is classic...You guys ever hear the "Chicken Heart bit?"


He ate up the Jersey Turnpike.

"Set the sofa on fire"! Ain't no chicken heart gonna come near smoke, fire and jello!
on Jul 12, 2005
"zero population growth"


haha yeah I resemble that remark

IMMA START SMEARIN THAT JELL-O!
on Jul 12, 2005
Yes, there are bad Liberals out there, but there are also bad Conservatives.
In spite of being a Liberal, I try very hard not to do any of the things you listed, and I mostly succeed (though I confess I may have accidently spilled Kool-aid on one or two carpets). Just because you don't like a political ideology doesn't mean that everyone who possesses it does every bad thing imaginable. I don't think that Conservatives are bad people, just that they support a platform that is innapropriate for a Democracy. I think that they do what they do out of good intentions, even if I disagree with their goals, and it pains me to see how much cinicism like this is tearing people apart. Read your bible. Read your Ghandi. Read your Aristotle. Realize that it's alright to think that a person is fundamentally wrong and still be respectful toward them.
Please understand that Liberals are not evil people. We are just trying to find a system that works in this world, same as you. I'll admit that Ted Kennedy's demand that we leave Iraq is as stupid as Bush's decision to enter, but I don't think that that makes someone who voted for Kennedy or Bush guilty of all the offenses you listed. שנאת אחים should be avoided as much as possible. It does nothing but destroy.
on Jul 12, 2005
In spite of being a liberal, I would like to distance myself from Politically Active.
on Jul 12, 2005

In spite of being a liberal, I would like to distance myself from Politically Active.

You will be assimilated.

on Jul 12, 2005
#26 by Politically Active
Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Wow, you don't even have a vague concept of sense of humor, do you?
on Jul 12, 2005
You will be assimilated.


Resistance is futile.
on Jul 12, 2005
In spite of being a liberal, I would like to distance myself from Politically Active


Yeah, I'm gonna go with this statement. I like to think that although I'm a liberal, I still maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR!

Geez. Dude, you missed the point of the post altogether.
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