Published on July 10, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Politics
Liberals left muddy footprints on the floor after you'd just mopped.

Liberals ate the last piece of cake that you'd planned on having for breakfast.

Liberals let their dog take a dump on your front lawn.

Liberals shook up your soda before you opened it.

Liberals left the toilet seat up and forgot to flush.

Liberals drank the last of the milk and put the carton back in the fridge.

Liberals got in line in front of you at the post office and paid for their book of stamps with loose change.

Liberals spit their gum out in the parking lot beside your SUV.

Liberals forgot to plug in your cell phone and recharge it overnight.

Liberals sat behind you at the theater and kept kicking your seat and burping during The Fantastic Four.

Liberals left the chip bag open and made the BBQ Ruffles all stale and icky.

Liberals lost every damn one of your black ink pens.

Liberals colored the only cool picture of Darth Vader in your Star Wars coloring book.

Liberals had a loud party outside your house the night before you had to get up at 4 am.

Liberals bought all the text books for your college course before you could make it to the bookstore.

Liberals lost your baby picture. You know, the cute one with you on your parents' bed?

Liberals used a dryer sheet and messed up the starch on your BDUs.

Liberals spilled red Kool-Aid all over your beige carpet.

Liberals used your hammer and didn't put it back in the tool box and now you can't find it.

Liberals brought salad dressing and a bottle of soda to your church dinner and then cut in line and went ahead of the guests and the old people.

Liberals misplaced that really important paper that you absolutely knew was sitting on the counter under your keys.

Liberals drove your car and brought it back with no gas in it so that you have to fill up on the way to work.

Liberals discontinued Heinz Ketchup Kickers and that coral lipstick that looked so good with your complexion.

Liberals didn't refrigerate the potato salad they brought to the family reunion.

Liberals stood in front of you in line at Wal-Mart and bought the one Tweety Bird t-shirt in the store without a price tag.

Liberals broke your favorite coffee mug and didn't bother to tell you about it.

Liberals turned the stereo way up in your car and moved the seat forward so that you couldn't stretch out your legs when you got in.

Liberals messed up the code in your most recent blog so that every single sentence is underlined and neon green.

Liberals left firework debris all over the road and in your yard after the 4th of July.

Liberals got to Red Lobster at the same time as you, but the waiter brought them their stuffed mushrooms before he asked you what you wanted to drink.

Liberals planned a year long construction on the road you use daily so that you have to take a time-consuming detour.

Liberals sent you unsolicited emails for Viagra and gourmet coffee.

Liberals replaced The Simpsons at 5 pm with some new rerun called Girlfriends.

Liberals scratched the Hitch DVD you rented so that you couldn't watch the last 10 minutes.

Liberals left the keys in your front door all night long.

Liberals farted in the elevator.

Liberals walked right next to you and kicked up sand while you were resting on your towel at the beach.

Liberals forgot to set your alarm and made you late for your appointment.

Liberals got tired of thinking of evil and annoying things liberals do and decided to go play Mahjongg.

Comments (Page 1)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Jul 10, 2005
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I swear a liberal jumped up and tried to grab my nuts while I was taking a crap earlier, too.

goddam liberals

This article got the first insightful I've handed out in...geez...weeks and weeks.

Woooooooonderful.
on Jul 10, 2005
you really know how to hurt a guy Tex...
That was sooooo cruel.
on Jul 10, 2005
PS

I am now e-mailing this to annoy my friends. Because that's what liberals do.

on Jul 10, 2005
liberals made you write that.

not to mention making me write this.
on Jul 10, 2005
Imagine that, everyone I live with is a liberal. For that matter, I am too.
on Jul 10, 2005
Liberals turned the salt shaker upside down on the table in the restaurant.

Liberals ate the last piece of cake that you'd planned on having for breakfast.


What kind of person eats cake for breakfast?
on Jul 10, 2005
Cake for breakfast is yummy
on Jul 10, 2005
Hilarious Tex!! I laughed until I stopped!!!

I guess they should change the bumpersticker that says, "stupid people shouldn't breed" to "Liberals shouldn't breed".

What kind of person eats cake for breakfast?


Bill Cosby Conservatives! ((("Dad is great, he gave us the chocolate cake!))) ;~D
on Jul 10, 2005

What kind of person eats cake for breakfast?

Bill Cosby.  Guess you have never read Fatherhood?

 

on Jul 10, 2005

Seen on a Bumper Sticker:

"Liberals created the endangered species act to protect themselves."

on Jul 10, 2005
Liberals down the end of the street let their kids run around with head lice and never bothered to tell anyone else...so half the street got nits. (we got lucky...so far no nits)

Liberals use the last sheets on the toilet roll and don't replace it with a new one.
on Jul 10, 2005
Guess you have never read Fatherhood?


Nope. No need to.
on Jul 10, 2005
Life-happens says: liberals come up with the same blog idea as me and post it first!
on Jul 11, 2005

Guess you have never read Fatherhood?


Nope. No need to.

No need to perhaps, but it is a great book!  And an easy read.

on Jul 11, 2005
((("Dad is great, he gave us the chocolate cake!)))


hahahaha I remember this one! "It's got milk and eggs and wheat!"

I have an old record of Cosby doing standup ("Wonderfulness") that is classic...You guys ever hear the "Chicken Heart bit?"

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