Why do we glorify and long for times past when we have worked so hard to improve the safety and quality of life of our children?
Karma recently wrote an article sharing the lyrics to an interesting song she heard:
Link
The song is by Bucky Covington (an American Idol wash-out), titled A Different World. In this song he reminds us, as older folks often do, that things used to be done differently and WE TURNED OUT ALRIGHT. Apparently backward facing car seats and lead-free crib paint is creating a nation of sissies.
There is no question that our sedentary life style and reliance on technology for assistance with tasks and for entertainment (along with our love for Big Macs and 800 calorie single serving coffee drinks) has spawned an epidemic of obesity with its related health issues. Unfortunately we have inflicted these problems on our children as well. I would agree that not all "progess" has benefited our children.
However, I am alarmed that so many people (and I see this again and again...it's not just this one instance) feel that exposing our children to dangerous chemicals and dangerous situations was a simpler, better way to do things. I'm sure mommy and daddy enjoyed not having to spend 3 or 4 extra minutes strapping little Timmy into his car seat, but when he was ejected from the car and horribly mangled I doubt they had warm fuzzies about their "simple" times.
On another JU thread I saw an older man recommend feeding an infant a bottle full of sugar water. Of course when I cautioned against it and recommended substituting breast milk or formula for a bottle FULL OF WATER AND SUGAR I was treated to the "doctors change their recommendations all the time, we did it in my day and we turned out fine" bullshit.
"According to CNRC pediatrician Dr. William Heird, healthy babies do not need, nor should they be given, bottles of water or any other liquid except breast milk or iron-fortified infant formula during the first year of life. The reason is that a baby's stomach is quite small and if she 'fills up' on water she might not drink enough formula or breast milk to get all the nutrition she needs to stay healthy and grow."
"While decreased milk production isn't a concern with babies who are fed formula, water is not good for those babies either, since it will reduce their intake of formula. Too much water can even be dangerous: In rare cases, infants have died from water intoxication, and others have developed seizures or hypothermia. Almost all of these babies were bottle-fed."
"It isn't necessary to give your newborn water. Most babies get enough fluids from breast milk or infant formula. Even when a mother's milk supply is just coming in during the first few days after delivery, the baby is getting colostrum,which is enough to keep the baby well hydrated. Because a newborn's kidneys are immature, she has a difficult time concentrating her urine, and if given too much plain water, may have trouble excreting it. This could lead to dangerous changes in the concentrations of sodium and potassium in her bloodstream. "
Etc.
The fact is, what we now know about infant development and nutrition makes what was common-place back in the day just plain STUPID now. In the 60s some children were given LSD and it was not considered harmful or dangerous for them. Now we know better. When you know better, you are expected to apply that new knowledge.
We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids, no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are
We got daddy’s belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside, playin’ outside
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
School always started the same every day
The pledge of allegiance then someone would pray
Not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed and that was all right, we turned out all right
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
No bottled water, we drank from a garden hose
And every Sunday, all the stores were closed
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
It was a different world
"Exposure to lead can cause damage to the brain and nervous system, slowed growth, hearing problems and headaches, difficulties during pregnancy and other reproductive problems (in both men and women), high blood pressure, digestive problems, nerve disorders, memory and concentration problems, and muscle and joint pain."
I'm not sad cribs are now free of lead based paint. I can't imagine why anyone would pine for that.
"Smoking during pregnancy also increases the risk of stillbirth, miscarriage, and severe vaginal bleeding.
Smoking during pregnancy, which can seriously slow fetal growth, nearly doubles a woman's risk of having a baby with low birth weight. In 1998, 12 percent of babies born to smokers in the U.S. were of low birth weight, compared to 7.2 percent of babies of nonsmokers. Studies by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) also suggest that smoking increases the risk of preterm delivery (before 37 weeks of gestation) by about 30 percent. It also increases the likelihood of certain birth defects, including a cleft lip and/or cleft palate (an opening in the roof of the mouth or the soft tissue in the back of the mouth)."
Why the hell do we long for the old days when it was common and acceptable for pregnant women to smoke?
Drinking during pregnancy can cause:
"Small body size and weight, Slower than normal development and failure to "catch up.", Deformed ribs and sternum, Curved spine and hip dislocations, Bent, fused, webbed, or missing fingers or toes, Limited movement of joints, Small head, Facial abnormalities, Small eye openings, Skin webbing between eyes and base of nose, Drooping eyelids, Nearsightedness, Failure of eyes to move in same direction, Short upturned nose, Sunken nasal bridge, Flat or absent groove between nose and upper lip, Thin upper lip, Opening in roof of mouth, Small jaw, Low-set or poorly formed ears, Organ deformities, Heart defects or heart murmurs, Genital malformations, Kidney and urinary defects, Central nervous system handicaps, Small brain, Faulty arrangement of brain cells and connective tissue, Mental retardation -- occasionally severe, Learning disabilities, Short attention span, Irritability in infancy, Hyperactivity in childhood, Poor body, hand, and finger coordination"
Yippee! Let's have a toast for toasted pregnant mothers!
I could keep going...seat belts, helmets, all these safety measures have been POSITIVE changes to the way we care for our children. I don't consider FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), mental retardation, broken bones, or head injuries turning out "alright".
I don't believe it's necessary for children to survive catastrophic injuries in order for them to "toughen up" and not be sissies. Sure, a child can fall off his bike with no helmet and suffer no long term effects...sometimes. Then you have the child whose head hits the ground just right and ends up in the hospital in a coma for months and has to learn how walk and talk all over again.
I am happy to not be raising my children in the 50s or 60s or 70s. Guess what? The pledge is still said every morning at my children's school. I know that for a fact because I participated this morning. Are today's children less active than we were? More than likely. That doesn't mean we should scrap all our progress. We can unplug the PS3 and make our safe, healthy children chase each other outside or snuggle on the couch with us and read a book. We can address what is wrong with the way today's children are being brought up without lowering their IQs with lead based paint or creating health problems because 8 months pregnant mommy wants her morning Scotch.
Baby gates and seat belts and age-appropriate toys are all GOOD things. It is a different world. And I am GLAD of it.