Published on October 20, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Personal Relationships
I'm not one to believe in the romantic idea that there is one right person for everyone.

I believe that there are people out there who can be WRONG for each other, but I believe that for each person there are tons and tons of people they could make it work and be happy with.

Having said that, I'm amazed that I ended up with such a good match. I come from a small town, where dating a local is like dating your brother. I mean, my dating experience was so limited by my age and the availability of non-brother types, not to mention the way I didn't quite fit in with my surroundings.

And yet, I found this man...kid at the time...who I get along so well with.

We've been together a decade as of April. We met when he was 16 and I was 17. Sometimes I wonder if we're a good match because we grew up together and shaped each other through our interactions. Or perhaps we are two of a kind who, amazingly, found each other so easily.

There are probably a million guys out there who fit my "what I want in a man" checklist, but how many of those would be able to relate to me the way my husband does? It's more than complementary interests, because we don't have all the same likes and dislikes. It's a personality match that baffles me at times with its perfection.

I couldn't let go of him. Not because we have children. Not because our finances are tied together. Not because I feel morally obligated. No.

It's the knowledge that I could search for the rest of my life and probably never find another lid to my pot that fit so snugly.

What other man, when I asked him if he loved me, would answer with "in your face"? What other man would laugh and repeat the little one's Southern twang mantra of "You like to eat your own doo-doos"? What other man would indulge in such childishness with me?

Sure, there are funny guys out there. Attractive guys. Smart guys. But there's some kind of chemistry...some kind of match...that I can't quite define that exists between the two of us. I don't know if I could find it in anyone else. Or perhaps even if I could, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to find it.

We can go back and forth with silly faux insults and sexual innuendo. Our flow of conversation never ends. It's a comfort and security, because we are both able to be ourselves with each other, even when we can't anywhere else.


I love my man.

Comments
on Oct 20, 2005
Darn, Tex I thought you was talkin' about me! But a good article anyway!!!
on Oct 20, 2005
this is so sweet, I love seeing posts about how much a mate loves their mate.

sighhhhhhh... he is lucky man you are lucky lady.


MM and coll, sitting in a tree k i s s i n g .
on Oct 20, 2005

Some people are lucky on the first shot.  Some never find it.  Perhaps it is Karma? (not the admin!  The spirit!).

You are blessed.  Whether by a Christian God, or Karma.  And no one can ask for more.

on Oct 20, 2005
Shovelheat:
Darn, Tex I thought you was talkin' about me! But a good article anyway!!!


Hehe. I got a feeling we'd get along well. We're both Texans, after all.

And, thanks.

Moderateman:
this is so sweet, I love seeing posts about how much a mate loves their mate.


Glad you liked it.

sighhhhhhh... he is lucky man you are lucky lady.


I don't know how lucky HE is! Hahaha.

MM and coll, sitting in a tree k i s s i n g .


Aw. You're a doll.

Dr.Guy:
Some people are lucky on the first shot. Some never find it. Perhaps it is Karma?


It's something I've wondered about. I mean, what are the odds?

You are blessed. Whether by a Christian God, or Karma. And no one can ask for more.


on Oct 20, 2005
5 by little_whip
Thursday, October 20, 2005


I sometimes look at Simon and ask myself....what were the odds of this happening?

Two souls, half a world away, both bitter over past hurts and failed marriages and determined to never love again.


goes to show ya, we never know what GOD has in store for us./
on Oct 20, 2005
goes to show ya, we never know what GOD has in store for us.

Preach it brother!!!

*stops channelling the AME Zion preacher across the street*

Tex, it's a blessing to find someone that is our "soul mate" (even though I detest that overabused term). It's an even bigger blessing once we've realized it.

Just to show you what God can have planned for you and you never know - my wife tried (unsuccessfully, I might add) to fix me up (romantically) with several of her friends before we started dating. That's what I get for being friends with her before I started dating her.

And here we are almost 11 years later. Still loving each other and with a (fairly) stable family. Heh. It'll be 11 years the Friday after Thanksgiving. And I'm looking as forward to # 11 as I was to that first anniversary. Although, some days ... it feels like we've been together for ever and then I realize that it's only been a decade.
on Oct 20, 2005
little whip:
I sometimes look at Simon and ask myself....what were the odds of this happening?


I've thought that about the two of you as well...I mean, how much stuff had to line up just so to put you guys in the same place and in the right circumstances for something to happen between the two of you?

And beyond that, you guys are so unique, and the dynamics of your relationship are far from common...it just amazes me what a perfect fit you guys are. I say this as someone on the outside looking in, but still...wow...

We just celebrated our two year anniversary on Oct 11, and while our marriage is far from perfect, (and whose is?) I can honestly say I've never been happier in my life.


Congrats. I'm so happy for you, Sabrina. You deserve it.

Aint love grand, Tex? Aint it just GRAND?


Absolutely!

Moderateman:
oes to show ya, we never know what GOD has in store for us./


That's about the closest anything comes to making wonder if there really is a God.

Chaos:
Tex, it's a blessing to find someone that is our "soul mate" (even though I detest that overabused term). It's an even bigger blessing once we've realized it.


I don't know if I believe in true "soul mates" (the one perfect person for each person), but I do think it's an amazing thing for two people who are so well suited for each other to find one another.

Just to show you what God can have planned for you and you never know - my wife tried (unsuccessfully, I might add) to fix me up (romantically) with several of her friends before we started dating. That's what I get for being friends with her before I started dating her.


Hehe. Those are some interesting circumstances. Did you have strong feelings for her when you guys were friends? What kept you two apart?

Heh. It'll be 11 years the Friday after Thanksgiving. And I'm looking as forward to # 11 as I was to that first anniversary.


Congrats to you on such a happy, enduring marriage!

Although, some days ... it feels like we've been together for ever and then I realize that it's only been a decade.


I know EXACTLY what you mean. Adrian and I were just kids when we started dating, and sometimes it's hard to remember what it was like before we were together. It seems like he's always been a part of my life.
on Oct 20, 2005
What a wonderful thing to read! You know that the first time I layed eyes on your dad I knew he was the one for me. Slill going after 27 years of being married. I took your dad to an er care center tonight. They gave him a shot for his headache and gave us a name a pain management doctor. love, mom
on Oct 20, 2005
I just celebrated my 7th anniversary with my husband and before him I never felt so comfortable or at home with anyone else. I'm glad you found your early on.

It is always nice to read a love story.
on Oct 21, 2005
Great article, Tex!

I have often said (only HALF tongue in cheek), of my wife that leaving her would be TOTALLY out of the question because I'd be unlikely to find another woman to put up with me!
on Oct 21, 2005
Mom:
What a wonderful thing to read!


Aw, thanks.

You know that the first time I layed eyes on your dad I knew he was the one for me. Slill going after 27 years of being married.


You guys provide an excellent example of commitment. Congrats!

I took your dad to an er care center tonight. They gave him a shot for his headache and gave us a name a pain management doctor.


SO glad to hear it! That headache is gone now?

Kelly:
I just celebrated my 7th anniversary with my husband and before him I never felt so comfortable or at home with anyone else. I'm glad you found your early on.


Congrats! That feeling of comfort and security really can't be beat. It's one of the most powerful incentives for marriage, imo.

It is always nice to read a love story.


Glad you liked it.

Gideon:
Great article, Tex!


Thanks!

I have often said (only HALF tongue in cheek), of my wife that leaving her would be TOTALLY out of the question because I'd be unlikely to find another woman to put up with me!


Haha. It's so true, though. I don't know whether we shape each other in marriage or whether happy marriages are the result of an excellent match and commitment, but there is a definite fulfillment that comes from loving a spouse who understands us so well and loves and accepts us anyway.
on Oct 25, 2005
Awww, Tex, this is just beautiful. My gorgeous wife and I will be married for 3 years next month (yup, time has flown by). I still get a kick out of introducing her as my wife. I aspire to the same happiness you and Adrian have shared for the last ten years. In a world where material worth is so f*%king important, you have provided a great reminder to us all to not take love for granted.

Again, just beautiful...
on Oct 27, 2005
Wow Tex what a beautiful tribute to your hubby! I love it!

"It's the knowledge that I could search for the rest of my life and probably never find another lid to my pot that fit so snugly"


This sentence just makes me go...ahhhh!
on Oct 27, 2005
--But there's some kind of chemistry...some kind of match...that I can't quite define that exists between the two of us. I don't know if I could find it in anyone else. Or perhaps even if I could, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to find it.--

I can't define it either, but whatever it is, isn't it the greatest? You could find it in someone else, but why try? You found your "some kind of match" already, and believe me I know the feeling.

--We can go back and forth with silly faux insults and sexual innuendo. Our flow of conversation never ends. It's a comfort and security, because we are both able to be ourselves with each other, even when we can't anywhere else.--

I love having conversations like that, and I also love those conversations in bed in the dark right before we both fall asleep.

--It's the knowledge that I could search for the rest of my life and probably never find another lid to my pot that fit so snugly.--

Is that one of your sexual innuendos?

--I love my man.--

And he loves you. You both are very lucky.
on Oct 27, 2005
excellent!!!

You know if you paid attention to all that was going on around you; you might be inclined to think that there are just a few good matches out there.

My wife and I met because we both transferred to a new location with the same company. She came from Florida me from South Carolina. We were both taking the opportunity to go home.

She was married and couldn't stand me when we first met. Later, after her marriage broke up (he cheated I had nothing to do with it), we started going out as friends. She would even drag me out on 'meet up' dates with her. I was a sucker, but she was a great friend.

Soon we were officially dating. I asked her to marry me 3 times and she turned me down all 3. After spending the day at the river, she asked me. I said yes.

I think finding the right person for you really has nothing to do with the search. All of the people I know searching for true love never seem to find it. It is only when you stop looking for what you want that you'll find what you need.

BTW my wife and I will celebrate 9 years together this New Years Eve.