Published on September 19, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Life Journals
An interesting (and I suppose very useful) lesson I've learned from Army life is this: I'm not in charge.

I've learned to relinquish any imagined bit of control I've thought I had over the places where real life intersects with the life my family has fashioned. Some things are going to happen, and I'm not going to like them, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I can complain. No one will care.

I can refuse. No one will ask me.

"Tough titties said the kitties, but the milk's real good".

So he's gone again. Not a deployment. Not anywhere dangerous (unless you consider lack of sleep and being yelled at dangerous). It's only two weeks, instead of a year. And in fact, he'll only be a hop, skip, and a jump away from the base.

So, I'm at peace with it.

If it were a deployment, and if it were somewhere dangerous, and if he were going to be gone for a year, well...

I'd have to be at peace with that, too.

What else could I do, besides torture myself while life went on and decisions were made without consulting me and days passed without the sun and the moon checking with my schedule to find out when the best time would be to appear and fade away?

The Army has been teasing us with PLDC with some time now. It was the 19th of August. Then it was the 29th. It was for two weeks. Then it was a month. Then it was two weeks again. He was going to miss the start of school and Orian's birthday. Then he was just going to miss Orian's birthday. Then he wasn't going to have to go for the foreseeable future. PLDC was full. Then he didn't have a valid ID card (his and mine both have E3, not E5, on them). Oh, and what about his tape test?

All concerns and glitches have been remedied or dismissed.

And he is gone.

So all that is left for me to do is keep things running smoothly in his absence (which I have quite a bit of experience doing at this point) and find little ways to better myself to make these two weeks worthwhile.

The good is that groceries will be lest costly. I can watch what I want on TV (not that I usually watch TV while he's gone...I don't enjoy it as a solitary activity). I can go to bed as early or as late as I want. I can use the car at my whim (not that I have too many places to go). I can wear a skirt and heels and lots of make up or I can wear pajama bottoms and a tank top and not brush my hair, and feel no guilt either way. I won't have to cook meat if I don't want to (not that he makes me, but I only cook it for his benefit).

There's a bittersweet sort of freedom that comes from these types of things, and I've learned to latch onto it.

I'm at peace with this camouflage colored business trip because I must be.


Comments
on Sep 19, 2005
The wonders of the world of "Semper Gumby!" People wonder what I mean when I say, "The spouse is just as 'in' as the troop, the only difference is the job description and the pay." I think, from now on, if someone asks me what I mean, I will simply refer them to this article. You did such a great job of describing it.

If you can handle a little advice from my wife, "There are things I get to do when he's home and things I get to do when he's gone, so whether he is around or not, I know I have things to look forward to either way... but I'd rather have him home."
on Sep 19, 2005
ParaTed:
The wonders of the world of "Semper Gumby!" People wonder what I mean when I say, "The spouse is just as 'in' as the troop, the only difference is the job description and the pay." I think, from now on, if someone asks me what I mean, I will simply refer them to this article. You did such a great job of describing it.


Thank you so much. What a nice compliment.

If you can handle a little advice from my wife, "There are things I get to do when he's home and things I get to do when he's gone, so whether he is around or not, I know I have things to look forward to either way... but I'd rather have him home."


Exactly. When he first left for his deployment last year, I was distraught, but after a while I discovered that the best way to pass the time was to learn to notice and enjoy the little benefits that come from being alone (although I'm never truly alone because I have the boys, but you know what I mean).

Maybe that sounds selfish...but I think your wife's quote really sums it up nicely. I'd always rather he be here, but I can look forward to the happy differences that come from his being gone.

Hahaha, and I considered titling this article "Corndogs...it's what's for dinner"!
on Sep 19, 2005
I'll take two, please, with spicy brown mustard to dip 'em in.


Hehe...are you sure you don't want mustard and honey swirled together and served on a Pokemon plate?
on Sep 19, 2005


Some things are going to happen, and I'm not going to like them, and there's nothing I can do about it.I can complain. No one will care.I can refuse. No one will ask me.


Oh how I wish this lesson would sink in permanently!

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. "
AA Literature
on Sep 19, 2005
Tenille:
Oh how I wish this lesson would sink in permanently!


It's been one of THE hardest things to learn. And I still don't have it down completely. I'll tell you one thing, though...when I do actually recognize how powerless I am...I feel at peace. When I stop struggling against the inevitable, I find that I can relax.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. "


I like that a lot. Thanks for sharing it.
on Sep 20, 2005

Hmm, I like that a lot, too.

Trinitie

on Sep 20, 2005
Hahaha, and I considered titling this article "Corndogs...it's what's for dinner"!


Corn Dogs? I'm always up for a couple of Corn Dogs! With Ketchup and Yellow Mustard mixed together!... and of course, as always a Mt Dew Chaser... and i'll supply my own "Pinky & The Brain" plate and "Coke Machine" mug. ;~D
on Sep 20, 2005
Just don't dye your hair pink or he'll be in shock when he gets back!


"There's a bittersweet sort of freedom that comes from these types of things, and I've learned to latch onto it.

I'm at peace with this camouflage colored business trip because I must be."

((((( TEX )))))