He always comes in and gives me a kiss before he leaves for work. Sometimes he's in his PTs, but this morning he was in his brown t-shirt and his skivvies.
He was still getting ready, so I stretched as he went back down the stairs. I crawled out of bed, still sleepy and just emerging from a dream. I slipped on my pajama pants and grabbed my glasses and went downstairs to him.
When I got downstairs he was in his BDU pants and was fiddling with his LBV. Frustrated, he was attempting to clip on his canteens in their newly washed covers.
I sat down on the couch and he asked for some cereal.
Still groggy, I made a sloppy bowl of Pops and brought them in to him.
I watched him slip the LBV on over his brown t-shirt.
"It doesn't fit anymore. I had to get an extender," he said, pointing to the dark green piece in the middle of the bottom strap.
He looked so good, standing there, almost dressed, and adorned with military gear.
We chatted about the kids and lunch and his schedule for the day as he hurriedly ate his Pops and then brushed his boots with fast, heavy strokes.
On the end table beside me sat the green "Rite in the Rain" notepad sheet that he had used to write me a letter while he was at work a few days ago.
"You are always on my mind. Throughout my day you are always there with me. It's like you're another part of my psyche. When I get angry or upset I think of you and it calms me. You are my center. When you are upset or sad, I feel it with you even when I don't say so. I think it's very special that we feel such empathy for each other, bordering on a sort of psychic link..."
"...Actions and gifts and words are not enough for me to say how much I love you so I'll just say this; I feel you, you are a part of me as much as my heart or brain and just as vital."
"...I love you."
I've read that note in its entirety so many times since the day that he handed it to me as he came in exhausted from a hard day at work.
He finished buttoning his BDU top and reached for his LBV, and I asked him, "What do you need that for today?"
"As soon as I figure that out, I'll let you know," he said with a smile.
He pulled me up into an embrace and gave me a kiss before saying goodbye and heading out the door in gleaming black boots and a crisp camouflage uniform.
I knew that he was going to be attending the division change of command ceremony this morning...the one he'd been working all week to help set up.
This morning as I sat on the swing in the backyard, I heard music in the distance.
The Army Goes Rolling Along.
It was the ceremony.
That moment felt so comforting and beautiful. He's at work, but he's here. He's close now...his physical presence and his heart.
I'm so glad he's home.