Maso:

It is so easy for couples, although I believe it is usually men guilty of (as a man I am qualified to say this) taking my partner for granted. It is not something we do intentionally, I'm sure, but we ALL do it to some degree, no matter how attentive we think we might be.

I agree.

I love my wife a lot but there have been occasions where I've allowed my day to day routines to take over and I forget about letting her know how I feel about having her in my life. Thankfully, my darling doesn't believe in tip-toeing around issues and lets me know exactly how she is feeling. I am often shocked and stunned with my level of 'ignorance' (for the want of a better word).

I'm always impressed with the way you describe your wife and the relationship you share with her. I definitely think we should all be vocal (not demanding, but unafraid to share) what things are important to us and whether or not our needs are being met (which also means being vocal about what the partner is doing right and letting them know how loved they make us feel).

Thanks for the timely reminder, again. I'm just glad I got it from someone else this time

Hehehe, glad to be of service.

Trudy:

Oh my, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading this... Ahhhhh.....my former gentleman friend did allllllll of these things, well most anyway and not just to get me into the bedroom! He was full of surprises, good ones, and had a great sense of humor too!

That sounds beautiful, Trudy.

You know, you hit on another thing, too...these expressions of love and admiration lose their meaning when they are simply used as tools to manipulate a partner into sex. Sometimes a backrub can just be a way to relax and give to your partner. Sometimes doing the dishes can just be a way of saying, "I know you're tired, and I want to ease your burden because I care about you."

Sounds like your former gentleman friend was a great catch. (Sense of humor ranks VERY high on my list, btw!)

My second husband did a couple of the things, well.... 1. he knew I'm a potato chip junkie and warned me if I gained weight he'd find someone slimmer, and I didn''t gain weight and he found someone else, several someone else's..... and 2. he took me out too, to a strip bar frequented by hookers. What I didn't know was that one of the "girls" that was a regular there was also our babysitter and pg by him.

Yikes! What a nightmare. No one deserves that, especially not a sweet and gentle woman like you. I don't know what to say besides I'm so very sorry you had to endure that. Bless your heart.

Anyway your post was awesome and I loved it!

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Life:

That love language book is fantastic. I'm definetely an "acts of service" kinda gal. But surprisingly enough, I didn't peg HW's. So ask your husband/wife WHAT makes them feel happy and loved....you might be surprised.

I've heard so many JUs mention that book. The author is something Chapman, right? I really may look for it.

I've heard so many JUs mention that book. The author is something Chapman, right?

Gary Chapman. I think I may have to buy it too. i've just borrowed it...

I only speak for myself. as I found love after 45 years. I only wish you the same.

I didn't know one could find love later in life, I
thought that only happens in movies.
I'm happy for you

And thanks for wishing me the same

.. show that you are paying attention to her needs and desires ... Effort + Interest = Happy Woman

I definitely think we should all be vocal (not demanding, but unafraid to share) what things are important to us and whether or not our needs are being met

I think women should be careful about relying on a bloke to satisfy their needs and to make them happy. Women could end up walking on shaky grounds. I think it’s more important for a woman to cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-love, regardless of what the bloke is doing.

I hope I haven’t missed the spirit of the thread here, but I think that as long as a woman relies on a man to buy her gifts and treat her well before she can feel happy with herself or feel a sense of self-worth, then she surrenders her emotional life to the hands of a bloke. (Is that really wise? We're fickle and fallible creatures, you know.)

If a woman can find happiness and a sense of self-worth within herself, regardless of a man, then that's a great sign of strength. I'm sure her partner would naturally feel impelled to treat her well and buy her gifts anyway, as opposed to feeling obliged to do it in order to keep the old gal happy. (A relaxed and content spirit is attractive. A needy, selfish spirit isn't.)

Know your woman.

It’s important for both people in a relationship to treat their partner well and to surprise them with romantic (or naughty) things - depending on their tastes, but the substance and spirit of a good relationship lies deeper.

In long term relationships, and in the real world, if we don't want to get disillusioned then it might be worth re-evaluating our "needs".

(Sorry to get too heavy there, I just wanted to share my thoughts about it)

I'm all for women's empowerment, that's all. I think true strength, beauty, inner peace and contentment come from within - not from what a bloke can do for you. If you don't go within, you go without. At least that's what I've learned.

Size 18......

Trinitie