Marge: Mmmm ... who left these muddy claw prints on my clean floor?

Homer: Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry! I put him in a nice, hot bath.

Bart: [sniffs the air] Hey, what smells so good?

Homer: Yeah ... Pinchy? Pinchy!?! Oh ... =Pinchy=!!!!! [he runs out of the room worried]

Later that night, Homer is crying at the dining room table, taking bites out of Pinchy's dead body while the family is watching.

Homer: [eating, crying] Oh, man, that's good. [sob] Pass the butter.

Bart: Are you gonna eat that all by yourself?

Homer: Uh-huh. Pinchy would've wanted it this way. My dear, sweet Pinchy. [takes a bite] No more pain where you are now, boy.
[rips him in half and sucks out the meat inside] Oh, God, that's tasty! I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this. [takes more bites] Oh, Pinchy ...

From cnn.com :

Animal activists for years have claimed that lobsters are in agony when being cooked, and that dropping one in a pot of boiling water is tantamount to torture.

...

Lobsters and crabs have some capacity of learning, but it is unlikely that they can feel pain," concluded the 39-page report, aimed at determining if creatures without backbones should be subject to animal welfare legislation as Norway revises its animal welfare law.


Um, OK...how stupid is this? We are supposed to forgo delicious, succulent lobster (prepared by live boiling, of course) because we are concerned that it might be cruel or considered torture?

Handcuffing someone to the metal bars of a bed and covering their head with pink cotton panties is cruel. (Thank you, Abu Ghraib)

Making someone eat cat poop before they can have a steak is cruel. (Thank you, Anchorman)

Making your male child hold a pair of sheer panties on a hanger outside the women's restroom for several minutes is cruel. (Don't ask)

Preparing food in a delicious way is NOT cruel.

Having taken a crapload of biology and life science in college (surprising, eh?), I can attest to the fact that fish and crustaceans do not have the nervous system set ups required to make things such as boiling and searing in butter (mmm...butter) painful. Any Nirvana fans out there? Remember..."it's OK to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feeling"? Yup, it's true.

KFC may in fact torture chickens. Slaughterhouses may actually be brutally murdering cows. But Red Lobster is innocent of any crimes against crustaceans.

This is silly.

Lobsters are FOOD, not friends!

The geniuses at PETA handled the crisis thusly:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an animal rights organization based in Norfolk, Virginia, has made lobster pain part of its Fish Empathy Project, putting out stickers and pamphlets with slogans such as "Being Boiled Hurts. Let Lobsters Live." Group supporters regularly demonstrate at the Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland.

I have a slogan for PETA...check this out..."Pass the butter, beotch." It would make terrific stickers and posters.

I'm mostly a vegetarian...I don't believe in killing animals for fun...I'm a pinko commie liberal, in fact...buuuut...

C'mon...

We gotta eat something. Why not something delicious that doesn't even care if you boil or dismember it alive? How perfect is that?

Let's find something else to be outraged about.




"

Comments (Page 3)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Feb 17, 2005
Your sick description at the beginning was quite mind boggling. I think that you do not really know what lobsters are feeling. Though science may be able to tell us every thing, they do not necessarily know wether the lobsters can feel the pain of being dropped in boiling water. They may have a different kind of nervous system. Also, just because it is good doesnt mean that it is right. Everything on this earth was not put here for the use and pleasure of human beings.
Aloha

Elaina
on Feb 17, 2005

Hmmm, no wonder your friend with Lobster hunters. 

That last line about passing the butter wus frick'n hilarious.

Trinitie

on Feb 17, 2005
Your sick description at the beginning was quite mind boggling. I think that you do not really know what lobsters are feeling. Though science may be able to tell us every thing, they do not necessarily know wether the lobsters can feel the pain of being dropped in boiling water. They may have a different kind of nervous system. Also, just because it is good doesnt mean that it is right. Everything on this earth was not put here for the use and pleasure of human beings.
Aloha


Hey! Know what I had at the luau I went to last summer? ROAST PIG! It was delicious!
on Feb 17, 2005
dharma:
As for other people hunting....I'm against killing for killing's sake. If people are hunting and using what they kill as a food source then I have less of a problem with it - but to kill and then not utilize what they've killed is, IMO, wrong.


I have the very same outlook. I could never hunt regardless...hahaha...if I got stranded on an island somewhere, I'd starve. I just can't kill stuff...actually, I can only eat meat if I don't think about what I'm doing...I have issues.

Kaulani:
Your sick description at the beginning was quite mind boggling.


You mean the Simpsons quote? Sense of humor not working?

I think that you do not really know what lobsters are feeling. Though science may be able to tell us every thing, they do not necessarily know wether the lobsters can feel the pain of being dropped in boiling water. They may have a different kind of nervous system.


Umm...yeah...I studied that shit back in college, and if you do a bit of googling, you can find studies on the topic...anatomy and physiology are not things that can't be known or understood...

Everything on this earth was not put here for the use and pleasure of human beings.


Are you a vegan? No dairy, no eggs, no meat, no fish, no animal byproducts? Do you eat Jello? Marshmellows? Do you wear makeup?


Thanks all for the great replies...

I'm going to dumb down the debate by using bumper-sticker philosophy; if it's wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?


on Feb 17, 2005
I love the Simpsons.

"Mmmmm...lobster."
on Feb 22, 2005
You saying "If it is wrong to eat animals then why are they made of meat". Then it is ok to eat humans because they are made of meat. No I do not have any sense of humor when it comes to animal, because people treat them like they do not have any feelings although they do.
Aloha
on Feb 22, 2005
You saying "If it is wrong to eat animals then why are they made of meat". Then it is ok to eat humans because they are made of meat. No I do not have any sense of humor when it comes to animal, because people treat them like they do not have any feelings although they do.


Human meat is unhealthy to eat.
on Feb 22, 2005
"If it is wrong to eat animals then why are they made of meat".


This was meant to be a joke. Lighten up, f'cryin' out loud. You animal rights people are all so serious all the time.

Look, you want to be a vegan and deny yourself the pleasure of a good medium rare steak or slab of delicious ribs dripping with BBQ sauce (lightly burnt on the edges so the sauce is just a tad crispy), herbs and spices, go ahead.
Enjoy your eggplant parmagiana and cold cucumber-zucchini salad; just leave the rest of us alone. Do we bother you?

Pass me a napkin here, willya, I got sauce all over my hands!
on Feb 22, 2005
I have to wonder if carrots have a nervous system....hehehe

Maybe "Veggie Tales" was REALLY a subversive attempt to stop our cruelty to produce
on Feb 23, 2005
One of the things I hate about PETA is the way they often target children for their campaigns.
They came here last year at this time, and stood outside elementary schools so they could hand out fliers and "trading cards" featuring pictures taken in a poultry slaughterhouse. This was an attempt to dissuade kids from eating Chicken McNuggets and KFC products.
What it was, was a despicable attempt to frighten children into seeing things their way, because adults are able to make decisions for themselves. They also stood outside a couple KFCs and handed out "kids meal bags" full of blood and chicken bones (both fake, of course). Another attempt, of course, to use fear to coerce the kiddies into not eating meat.
Shame on them.
3 Pages1 2 3