PETA wants your Valentine's Day to suck

Published on February 15, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Current Events

Marge: Mmmm ... who left these muddy claw prints on my clean floor?

Homer: Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry! I put him in a nice, hot bath.

Bart: [sniffs the air] Hey, what smells so good?

Homer: Yeah ... Pinchy? Pinchy!?! Oh ... =Pinchy=!!!!! [he runs out of the room worried]

Later that night, Homer is crying at the dining room table, taking bites out of Pinchy's dead body while the family is watching.

Homer: [eating, crying] Oh, man, that's good. [sob] Pass the butter.

Bart: Are you gonna eat that all by yourself?

Homer: Uh-huh. Pinchy would've wanted it this way. My dear, sweet Pinchy. [takes a bite] No more pain where you are now, boy.
[rips him in half and sucks out the meat inside] Oh, God, that's tasty! I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this. [takes more bites] Oh, Pinchy ...

From cnn.com :

Animal activists for years have claimed that lobsters are in agony when being cooked, and that dropping one in a pot of boiling water is tantamount to torture.

...

Lobsters and crabs have some capacity of learning, but it is unlikely that they can feel pain," concluded the 39-page report, aimed at determining if creatures without backbones should be subject to animal welfare legislation as Norway revises its animal welfare law.

Um, OK...how stupid is this? We are supposed to forgo delicious, succulent lobster (prepared by live boiling, of course) because we are concerned that it might be cruel or considered torture?

Handcuffing someone to the metal bars of a bed and covering their head with pink cotton panties is cruel. (Thank you, Abu Ghraib)

Making someone eat cat poop before they can have a steak is cruel. (Thank you, Anchorman)

Making your male child hold a pair of sheer panties on a hanger outside the women's restroom for several minutes is cruel. (Don't ask)

Preparing food in a delicious way is NOT cruel.

Having taken a crapload of biology and life science in college (surprising, eh?), I can attest to the fact that fish and crustaceans do not have the nervous system set ups required to make things such as boiling and searing in butter (mmm...butter) painful. Any Nirvana fans out there? Remember..."it's OK to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feeling"? Yup, it's true.

KFC may in fact torture chickens. Slaughterhouses may actually be brutally murdering cows. But Red Lobster is innocent of any crimes against crustaceans.

This is silly.

Lobsters are FOOD, not friends!

The geniuses at PETA handled the crisis thusly:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an animal rights organization based in Norfolk, Virginia, has made lobster pain part of its Fish Empathy Project, putting out stickers and pamphlets with slogans such as "Being Boiled Hurts. Let Lobsters Live." Group supporters regularly demonstrate at the Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland.

I have a slogan for PETA...check this out..."Pass the butter, beotch." It would make terrific stickers and posters.

I'm mostly a vegetarian...I don't believe in killing animals for fun...I'm a pinko commie liberal, in fact...buuuut...

C'mon...

We gotta eat something. Why not something delicious that doesn't even care if you boil or dismember it alive? How perfect is that?

Let's find something else to be outraged about.

"

Comments (Page 1)

shadesofgrey

on Feb 15, 2005

Agreed--though I still think it is cruel when my dad lets the cats and dog chase the lobster around the kitchen and "play" with it before it is cooked!

Hmm...lobster--now I have a craving.

InfoGeek

on Feb 15, 2005

Fish are friends, not food! Thus speaks Bruce.

IG

Shovelheat

on Feb 15, 2005

Lobster? That ain't nuthin' Tex! How 'bout this from the late, great (at least on JU) Little Whip: Link

Yum...

messybuu

on Feb 15, 2005

If they don't feel pain, then I definitely feel much about them being boiled alive, because if they did feel pain, then the least one could do is kill them right before they boil them.

ParaTed2k

on Feb 15, 2005

Great article!! I don't have any lobster, but you've got me thinking of thawing out some of the Salmon and Hallibut keeping my freezer company for dinner tomorrow night!!

Someone once asked me how it is that I can throw a barbed, baited hook out into the water, then yank that innocent fish from it's home and family.

Purposely overlooking the sillyness of the "home and family" analogy, I just looked, laughed and said, "Innocent? That fish would still be alive if it hadn't have tried to kill my bait!" ;~D

Agreed... FISH ARE FOOD, NOT FRIENDS!! (((((Except for by Bettas of course))) ;~D

Myrrander

on Feb 15, 2005

"It's OK to eat fish cuz they don't have any feelings." -- Kurt

But leave the seahorses alone, dammit! I draw the line at the shilfs!

island_gurl12

on Feb 15, 2005

lobster, mmm, yumm, *drool, drool*

historyishere

on Feb 15, 2005

If they don't feel pain, then I definitely feel much about them being boiled alive, because if they did feel pain, then the least one could do is kill them right before they boil them.

Well, I've heard if you refrigerate them before you boil them, they are unconscious when they hit the water.

Zoologist03

on Feb 15, 2005

I don't believe I've ever heard the lobster scream...and they don't show much emotion so...PETA can kiss my ass, because lobster is delicious. I like PETA's ideas...but they tend to get too carried away. What next? Ethical Treatment for pesky little bugs? Don't kill mosquitos, let them suck you dry and give you malaria...cause they have feelings too. PETA needs to chill out a bit...

~Zoo

dharmagrl

on Feb 15, 2005

Well, I've heard if you refrigerate them before you boil them, they are unconscious when they hit the water.

That's what I heard too. I found this on octopus.gma.org:

How to cook a lobster in the most humane manner has been a concern of guilt-ridden chefs for generations. In order to put the matter to a rest scientifically, one researcher instructed his graduate students to boil lobsters after having subjected them to various relaxation techniques. The students determined which method of dispatching them was the kindest by counting the number of tails flicks heard in the kettle before each lobster succumbed to the boiling water. They tried hyponotizing the subjects (rubbing their backs until they stood on their heads), soaking them in fresh water, heating them slowly from room temperature to boiling, and other accepted strategies. They found that putting them in the fridge before cooking to numb them up, (as happens naturally in winter), resulted in the lowest number of tail twitches. So, according to modern science, a few minutes in the freezer means less agony in the kettle.

I personally don't eat fresh lobster. To choose a lobster from the tank, and then ask someone to prepare it for me....that's asking someone to kill for me, and I'm not allowed to (or going to) do that. I wouldn't go into a sty and pick out a specific pig either...or a cow, or lamb, or whatever.

bakerstreet

on Feb 15, 2005

"Handcuffing someone to the metal bars of a bed and covering their head with pink cotton panties is cruel. "

And yet some men would pay good money for that treatment, no doubt...

Lobsters boiled don't suffer any more than lobsters pulled apart by natural predators and eaten alive. If I had the choice of someone tearing off hunks of me and eating it as I watched, or being quickly boiled and sent to the great beyond first... well, it's obvious.

What always amazes me is that in the eyes of these people nature is somehow so moral and perfect, but nature is far more carnivorous and brutal than we are. Disney rules in the minds of these deluded folks. All the lions play with the little warthogs and everyone eats popcorn...

Spc Nobody Special

on Feb 15, 2005

Vegetable juice is murder......for lo I say unto you, if any of you harms but one of the broccoli sprouts, it would be better if he had a millstone hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea.

(walks away whistling quietly...................)mmmmmmm.......lobster

Texas Wahine

on Feb 15, 2005

Shades:

Agreed--though I still think it is cruel when my dad lets the cats and dog chase the lobster around the kitchen and "play" with it before it is cooked!

Awww...I agree...hahaha

Hmm...lobster--now I have a craving.

Oooh...me too...yummy...

IG:

Fish are friends, not food! Thus speaks Bruce.

Hehe...great movie...but shrimp, crabs, clams, lobster, and salmon nigiri are still food...

Shovel:

Lobster? That ain't nuthin' Tex! How 'bout this from the late, great (at least on JU) Little Whip

I remember that one (holds back vomit)...hehehe

messy:

If they don't feel pain, then I definitely feel much about them being boiled alive, because if they did feel pain, then the least one could do is kill them right before they boil them.

(in best Scooby Doo voice) Ruh?

ParaTed2K:

Great article!! I don't have any lobster, but you've got me thinking of thawing out some of the Salmon and Hallibut keeping my freezer company for dinner tomorrow night!!

Thanks...glad I inspired you...hehe

Purposely overlooking the sillyness of the "home and family" analogy, I just looked, laughed and said, "Innocent? That fish would still be alive if it hadn't have tried to kill my bait!"

Hahahaha...good point...

(((((Except for by Bettas of course)))

Our bettas died and we flushed them...looks like we made a good call by not eating them, then...

Myrrander:

But leave the seahorses alone, dammit! I draw the line at the shilfs!

Yeah...that's just wrong...

Islandgurl:

lobster, mmm, yumm, *drool, drool*

Hehe...good stuff...and I haven't had any lobster in a while...

history:

Well, I've heard if you refrigerate them before you boil them, they are unconscious when they hit the water.

Yay! A reply from history on one of my threads! Hmm...I guess it's a kinder, gentler way to slaughter the lobster...

Zoo:

I like PETA's ideas...but they tend to get too carried away.

Yeah, I agree...I am not completely against all of PETA's stances, but their tactics are bizarre, and they really do take their tenets to extremes...

dharma:

That's very respectable. But let me ask you this...have you ever hunted? How do you feel about hunting?

They found that putting them in the fridge before cooking to numb them up, (as happens naturally in winter), resulted in the lowest number of tail twitches. So, according to modern science, a few minutes in the freezer means less agony in the kettle.

It's actually not agony that causes them to react like that, but rather a biological drive to escape the pot...

Baker:

And yet some men would pay good money for that treatment, no doubt...

Hahhahaha...scary, but I'm sure you're right...

Lobsters boiled don't suffer any more than lobsters pulled apart by natural predators and eaten alive. If I had the choice of someone tearing off hunks of me and eating it as I watched, or being quickly boiled and sent to the great beyond first... well, it's obvious.

Ahhhh...very good point.

SPC:

Vegetable juice is murder......for lo I say unto you, if any of you harms but one of the broccoli sprouts, it would be better if he had a millstone hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea.

I'm pretty sure you just blasphemed with that one.

(walks away whistling quietly...................)mmmmmmm.......lobster

Yummy, huh?

messybuu

on Feb 15, 2005

(in best Scooby Doo voice) Ruh?

Well, can't they kill the lobster right before they boil it, so it'll be dead as it boils?

If they don't feel pain, then I guess there's no point to do that, but if they do, then it's the least we could do.

Texas Wahine

on Feb 15, 2005

messy: Ahhh...gotcha...I was confused about what you were saying.

I agree with you.

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