I'm finding myself so very easily annoyed.  Even with people I typically like, but *very* annoyed with those I don't.

It's like I'm in a bad mood and it just won't go away.  I don't like being patronized.  Being encouraged pisses me off.  I am so freaking jealous of people with simple problems like 5 lbs to lose or a husband who does a poor job of diapering the baby.

I realize everyone has a right to complain and further that just because someone goes through something different (even something I see as lesser), it still sucks for them, and I shouldn't make light of it.  But it just pisses me off.  I want to shake people. 

99.9999999999% of the things in my life that suck are directly are indirectly related to my own choices.  Therefore, I really have no right to feel this way.

I am jealous of the Army (Officer's) wife whose husband has been in for over a decade and who is whining and poor me-ing because her husband has to go the their next duty station and its a WHOLE MONTH before she can join him and she has THREE KIDS.  BFD.  Stop crying about it, you wuss.

Well, if my husband were an Officer and played the game properly maybe he could manage to get us stationed somewhere remote with 0% chance of deployment.  It is directly my fault that we were dummies and picked 91W.  And that we didn't become college sweethearts while he went to military college and became an officer and THEN got married and THEN had kids.  Poor choices.

I'm jealous of the women who get to go to the military appreciation comedy nights and out to eat with friends and to the salon to get their nails done.  I'm jealous of women who get to get their hair cut or go to the store by themselves.  Again, poor choices...Army, 3 kids, unwilling to hoist my kids off on anyone else, untrusting of other people's abilities to care for my kids. 

I'm jealous of women who are thin.  I do Pilates with a 6  year old constantly asking for my balance ball and a 5 month old needing eye contact and conversation.  I don't get to go to the gym.  I can't even go out in the garage and get on my treadmill.  I can't diet for shit since I can't keep food out of my pie-hole and I don't have any way to go to Weight Watchers.  I have a friend with a new baby who is tiny now.  She walks her parents' huge dogs a several miles a few times a day.  How do you get free enough to go walk dogs?

Of course, it's my fault for getting fat in the first place, and for setting my life up so that I have no personal time.

I asked some other women about my hair loss thing since it's freaking me the hell out, and 9 out 10 said, oh, that's normal, it's happening to me too.  That shouldn't piss me off, but it does.  It's like my concerns are being invalidated.  Like being patted on the head and told to run along.  If all these women are experiencing what I am, why am I the only one it bothers enough to say something about it? 

People with clean houses piss me off.  People look nice in photos piss me off.  People who wear shorts when they have HIDEOUS bulging spider veins or varicose veins or whatever those things are, piss me off.  People who get to to go to the movies as grown ups piss me off.  People who never have to think about money piss me off.  People who let their babies get sunburned piss me off.  People who make friends easily piss me off.  People who expect too much from me piss me off.

I just want to sleep in, take a bath by myself for as long as I want, get a pedicure since my toenails look like crap, eat lunch as a grown up, and do something as loudly as I want to, without having to share or worrying about waking up a baby, for like an hour or two. 

I'm tired of my husband being gone and I'm sick of people whining about how their husbands don't help enough or that their husbands will be gone for a month and now who will take out the dirty diapers.  Oh, no.  You're screwed.  It's impossible for a woman to take out dirty diapers or care for three children by herself for a month.

15 months is a long time. 

Oh yeah, and I would love having the free time to vacuum the horde of ants out of my SUV.  Not going to happen, but I fantasize about having the opportunity to do it.

If you feel like I'm being overly negative, well, YOU piss me off.