You LIE!!

Published on June 10, 2006 By Texas Wahine In Misc

I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or what, but I've noticed that people now seem compelled to lie to me to spare my feelings.

I don't particularly mind this, but it would be nice if EVERYONE would lie to me ALWAYS just to keep things consistent, or at the very least, tell convincing lies.

Lie #1: "You're not fat, you're pregnant."

This is very sweet. And for many women this is true. However, if I was fat before I became pregnant, how did I suddenly become not fat and instead just pregnant?

It's a LIE!

Lie #2: Since I got my treadmill, I've been walking twice a day for about a mile each time, at a pretty vigorous pace. I'm not an active person. I don't go around sweaty. I find it icky. So now I get all rosy and drenched in sweat twice a day.

Last night after I finished my mile, I came in all wet and yucky. My husband reached for me and I said, "I'm gross. I stink."

My husband replied, "You never stink." (I would say this is probably a lie since he used the word "never", but I don't *normally* stink, and I think that's what he meant.) He followed that up with, "Try going 7 days in the desert without a shower."

I walked over to him and said, "Here. Smell my neck." My neck was covered in sweat. It was all wet and icky with hairs stuck to it. He buried his face in my wet neck skin and inhaled deeply.

After breathing in my aroma, he said, in a dismissive tone, "You smell like a girl."

LIE!! LIE!! Unless by "like a girl" he meant "gross and smelly", that was a big fat lie.

Lie #3: I got out the bath this morning (after washing off that "like a girl" scent), dried off, did my whole girly routine, got dressed, and came downstairs. I looked around but saw no husband. The bathroom door was open, so there was only one other place he could be.

I opened the garage door and peeked out. Unfortunately, he was in there, and so was my neighbor. Ugh. I stood there, fully dressed, but sans make up and with a towel on my head while she stared back at me, looking like something from a Bratz dolls commercial. Nice slim hips and toned belly. Cute little outfit. Make up and hair perfect. Yuck.

She had come to take back a couch she gave me last year. Now this couch was in the garage, so I'm sure it appeared to her that I didn't want it, but I DO. And plus you shouldn't be an Indian Giver. But whatever.

She called me "Momma". This is my new nickname with everyone in the neighborhood, despite the fact that they all have a million kids too. She asked how I was feeling. Then she told me that I looked smaller and made a hand motion to indicate that my hips were slimmer. Then she added, "Not in your boobs, though!"

Ok, so I have lost a bit of weight. 13 lbs. at first, then I gained 3 back. So I'm down 10 lbs. I've looked all over for where those pounds might have disappeared from and I can't figure it out. I look the same. My belly is bigger, but everything is EXACTLY the same. Where the hell did that weight go away from?!?

All that just to point out that she was LYING!!

And to top it off, when I protested she pulled the "You're not fat, you're pregnant!" card! My husband followed up with, "I tell her that all the time."

LIARS!! All of them. I mean, it's sweet that people want to spare my feelings, but a) don't be so blatant about it (at least make it believable!) and

how come you can't lie to me all nice like that when I'm NOT pregnant?

Grrrr!

And with that, I'm off to get some Cheetos...I mean...some fruit.

Comments (Page 2)

JillUser

on Jun 11, 2006

That's the way I picture you now. I'm sure they're telling you the truth!

Well, I'm older and fatter now but am carrying this one in a similar way. Maybe I can get Brad or Karma to take and post a belly shot for me. You're a lot thinner than I am and maybe shorter too (I'm 5'7'') so maybe that is why you are showing quicker than I did. It also depends tremendously on how the baby is positioned. Some days I'll go out and people will be saying "Wow! You really look pregnant today!" and then say how small I look the next.

You can definitely tell that you are pregnant and not fat from the pictures I've seen. I'm jealous!

Tova7

on Jun 12, 2006

Well I'd say you don't look that big but would you believe me? HEh

You look pregnant to me Brandie. Your legs and arms aren't all flabby and fat so that is probably why people say you look pregnant and not fat.

dynamaso

on Jun 13, 2006

Hey Tex, you're PHAT... (for the sake of the obvious, I mean you're cool). As for being overweight, I guess it is something only you can determine. Pictures don't do most of us any real justice unless we're born in front of a camera (which is another way of saying I look ugly in every photo anyone has ever taken of me).

I think you look great but then, pregnant women always look great, as far as I'm concerned.

foreverserenity

on Jun 13, 2006

Oh Brandie, in no way are you as fat as you feel. You should see some of my pregnancy photos, I was a blimp! See you'r enot normally fat so you carry just your belly, and the rest of you don't get too big. If you're normally fat, and carry large during pregnancy, now that's a double whammy!

Hang in there hon, it will soon be over!

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