Published on April 3, 2006 By Texas Wahine In Life Journals
The alarm woke me up at 6:40 this morning. I was having an angry dream. I was cooking breakfast for some jerk I didn't even know. He wanted French Fries covered in gravy with some sort of Sherry glaze on top (ugh!). I was slinging things around. I even broke a dish making that unknown bastard his breakfast.

And then I was awake, listening to the bantering of the radio personalities.

I heard the garage door open, and I walked downstairs in a groggy haze. I curled up on the couch and half slept, half listened to my husband as he talked about what was on his plate for the day while he ate cereal, then poptarts, then put on his uniform piece by piece.

By 7:00 I was still exhausted and could have easily fallen back into a deep sleep, but I knew I had to wake my oldest up for his shower. The poor kid was just as sleepy as I was. But he got up, like a good boy, and took his typical alarmingly long "Hollywood shower". Then he woke his brother up, and they scrambled downstairs for breakfast.

They got new Nikes ($34 for both pairs!) this weekend, so they were eager to wear the new shoes that don't crunch their toes. Socks and shoelaces were flying as I tried to hurry them along.

We were running late. I remembered to make out the checks to the school for their lunches. The kids wouldn't be happy if they weren't allowed to eat. They'd remember that and bitch about it as adults, I'm sure. I was too late to make out the checks for the school pictures ($45 for 1 8x10, 2 5x7s, and a sheet of wallets, per kid!...extortion!), though.

The kids were eating Lucky Charms slowly and with measured artful movements, as if it were a lazy 2 hour brunch.

"We've gotta go in 2 minutes!" I pleaded with them. Xavier finished up and took off looking for his backpack. Orian continued to sip milk from his spoon in the most nonchalant way a 5 year old can manage.

"You're done! Go, Go, Go! Get your backpack, baby!"

Xavier couldn't find his backpack. He thought he remembered taking it upstairs (Why? I have no idea). It wasn't up there. It was missing. I ran upstairs and approached his playroom door. Closed. Hmmm. Interesting.

I opened it up, and there are no words to describe the horror I was confronted with. DVD cases. A stray dirty shirt. Action figures, some in various stages of dismemberment. Crayons. Books. Controllers. Papers. More papers. Lots more papers. To call their room dirty, or even filthy, would be an insult to filthy, disgusting rooms. It was like a trash can and a toy box had vomited simultaneously. Ugh.

No time to bitch at the kids. Gotta find the backpack.

I shut the door carefully and ran into the other bedroom. Messy, but not too frightening. Some dirty laundry in the closet (Why? Again, I don't know) and a toy or two on the floor. Not bad. And in the corner...the backpack! Yes!!

I escorted Xavier's backpack down the stairs and slid it onto his bony little shoulders. Success.

I grabbed Orian's backpack and started to put it on his back. Then I decided to check it. You know, like I should have done the Friday before last...when Spring Break actually began? Ok, I'm a bad mom. No, not bad. Lazy. I'm a lazy mom. In his backpack was a sheet listing his homework for Spring Break. WTF? Spring Break homework in Kindergarten? Oh, well. Too late now.

We headed out the door and made it across the street when I stopped dead in my tracks.

Wait a minute...

Why are there no people outside? No moms? No dads? No kids? No strollers? My mind flashed back to the Spring Break homework sheet. "We want to continue where we left off when school starts again on April 4...no forgetting please!!"

I forgot. We experienced forgetting. But that wasn't the alarming part of my little flashback...it was something else. Something big. Bigger than forgotten reading exercises or numeral recognition or unpaid for school portraits or tardy slips.





Dammit, I could have slept in.


Comments
on Apr 03, 2006
Bwaaahaaa!!!

"Dammit, I could have slept in. " I loved that line.

You know something, Tex? If you don't have one of these days every once and a while, you kinda get to thinking that parenting is easy ... This is just the universe's way of setting you straight again.

Just nice to see that someone else has mornings like this.
on Apr 03, 2006
That was so funny! Guess what you are more like your mom than you know. ; ) Have a GREAT day!
on Apr 03, 2006
Sometimes even the lack of Daylight savings time can protect you!  I was reading and going "Wait, they dont have it in Hawaii", when you dropped the date snafu.
on Apr 03, 2006
Ah you poor baby! I feel ya, and know just how you felt at that very moment! But I couldn't help but giggle at this blog! You know, once I woke my two older ones up on a Saturday morning to get them ready for school. The good thing was one of them suddenly realised what day it was and we all laughed then went back to bed!
on Apr 03, 2006
Great article
on Apr 03, 2006

ROFL...

Welcome to parenthood,  101....

on Apr 03, 2006
You're only a dunce because you've admitted to what many have already done, some of us more than once..........

Now my question is; Are you cleaning the room, or doing the homework?
on Apr 03, 2006
Hahaha!! You are so funny! Why in the world would they have Spring Break end on a day other than Monday? That just sets people up for confusion, I would think.
on Apr 03, 2006

Why in the world would they have Spring Break end on a day other than Monday? That just sets people up for confusion, I would think.

But it makes for a very amusing blog too.

on Apr 03, 2006
on Apr 03, 2006
Chaos Manager:
Bwaaahaaa!!!

"Dammit, I could have slept in. " I loved that line.


Glad you enjoyed it.

You know something, Tex? If you don't have one of these days every once and a while, you kinda get to thinking that parenting is easy ... This is just the universe's way of setting you straight again.


Hahahahahahaha. SOMETHING wacky happens here every single day. Hehe. The universe believes I need constant reminders.

Mom:
That was so funny! Guess what you are more like your mom than you know. ; ) Have a GREAT day!


Thanks. And I hear we all turn into our moms sooner or later. Hehe.

Dr.Guy:
Sometimes even the lack of Daylight savings time can protect you! I was reading and going "Wait, they dont have it in Hawaii", when you dropped the date snafu.


You know, when I was finishing it up, I wasn't sure if everyone would know what happened without my explaining it, but apparently you guys catch on much quicker than I do!

foreverserenity:
I feel ya, and know just how you felt at that very moment! But I couldn't help but giggle at this blog! You know, once I woke my two older ones up on a Saturday morning to get them ready for school. The good thing was one of them suddenly realised what day it was and we all laughed then went back to bed!


I haven't done a Saturday yet. Yikes! At least you guys still got to go back to bed...AND your kids didn't show up at an empty school! Hehe.

Mason:
Great article


Thanks.

Trudy:
ROFL...
Welcome to parenthood, 101....


Glad you enjoyed it. Parenthood 101 indeed!

Dynosoar:
You're only a dunce because you've admitted to what many have already done, some of us more than once..........


Hehe. I have no shame. Ok, I have some. But not very much.

Now my question is; Are you cleaning the room, or doing the homework?


Actually, hehe, I sent the kids upstairs with detailed instructions for cleaning their room, and I laid down on the couch and took a really long nap! Hahahhahaha!

jennybean:
Hahaha!! You are so funny! Why in the world would they have Spring Break end on a day other than Monday? That just sets people up for confusion, I would think.


Thanks. And I agree...starting back from Spring Break on a Tuesday makes absolutely no sense. Of course, I didn't see anyone else outside, so maybe I'm the only one who has difficulty with things like that! Haha.

Dr.Guy:
But it makes for a very amusing blog too.




Tova:

Hehe. Thanks.
on Apr 03, 2006
Classic. I've done it, my mother has done it and my sister admitted to me recently she has also done this. When I was a teenager, I got up once at some ungodly hour (like 3am), had a shower, got my breakfast, made lunches for myself and my siblings and got dressed for school. As I was dressing, I wondered why no one else was up. My mother came out of her room to ask me what I was doing. When I explained, she had a bit of a laugh and told me to go back to bed as it was still early. She then told me I'd also forgotten it was a weekend. D'oh...