Published on February 2, 2006 By Texas Wahine In Misc
I can get really wrapped up in my own world. My brain never shuts up. It's always talking about something...debating, discussing, encouraging, chastising me. Never more so than when I am completing routine tasks.

I walk my boys to school everyday. On the way there, we chatter together, and my brain focuses on what my babies have to say. On the way back, my mind shifts gears from conversation mode to internal chatter. Making a chore checklist. Thinking about things people have said to me and what I said to them or what I should have said to them. Considering different types of exercise machines. Thinking about the picturesque quality of the mountains in the distance framed by palm trees closer up. Wondering if I should have put on real pants instead of taking the boys in pink snowflake PJ bottoms.

Talk, talk, talk. Me, me, me.

And so it goes, through the courtyard, past the gate, over the gravel, past the sidewalk, across the street, around the trash bins, down the wet, sloping grass, back onto the sidewalk, across the street, between the Hibiscus bushes, right to my door.

I had gone through the courtyard this morning and reached the gate when I paused. A small class of children, with various disabilities, both mental and physical, were crowding through the gate with their teachers. I waited for them to pass through as my mind continued its contemplation of things shallow and self-centered.

He looked right at me. He had big brown eyes and a crown of dark curly hair. He stopped and looked at me. Only for a moment. Then he reached out his arms...the way an infant reaches out to be picked up and held. He didn't make a sound, but his eyes connected with mine and he reached out for me.

His teacher started to say something...to somehow divert the awkward moment. Only it didn't seem awkward at all to me. I didn't even have to think about it. I moved into that little boy's embrace and I hugged him gently. I tried to mentally impart some feeling of love and acceptance in that hug.

It was fleeting, and the child will probably not think about it again. If I were to guess, the reaching out is probably a common behavior for him...just something he does. To him it was probably more habit than an action with an underlying meaning. I won't be so arrogant or so bold as to suggest that I made some sort of impact on him. He had probably forgotten our impromptu hug by the time he made it through the gate...lost in the busy world of childhood.

It made an impact on me, though. As our world has become more and more sensitive to tiny little words and behaviors that might be hurtful and offensive to others, we have lost something. We have lost our ability and desire to touch and be touched. We live our lives in an invisible force field that must be respected. We are afraid and awkward when we brush hands with a stranger, or sometimes even a friend.

There's a connection that comes from touch. A deep warmth that comes from an embrace. It's so blissfully human to touch another in a gentle and caring way.

We need more hugs.

Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Feb 02, 2006
You never know Tex. Your hugging him, well... it touched me.
on Feb 02, 2006
~hugs~ to you TW. What a touching story. I personally don't feel awkward or embarrassed when touching others or being touched accidentally. I'm pretty secure with myself though. I see women who look absolutely mortified if their child sticks his or her hand down their shirts. My sons used to do that all the time when they were babies. It's a natual thing. Why be embarrassed?

There are friends and family that you just know invite hugs and others who just aren't the hugging type. I'm the hugging type. I actually feel sorry for those who aren't.
on Feb 02, 2006
how very sweet, some fleeting moments of random acts of humanity are the ones I hold dearest. You are a good person and I will bet you remember this moment in time for the rest of your life.
on Feb 02, 2006
That's really sweet, Tex. Reminds me of something my middle son likes to do. At times, he's very "don't touch me" (like most autistic children) but there are times where it seems like he knows when someone can most use a hug.

My daughter on the other hand ... getting her to STOP hugging complete strangers is the hard part. Very much a very touchie-feelie kind of girl. Not that I'm complaining 'cause I'm one of the favored recipients of all those hugs and kisses.
on Feb 02, 2006
I loved that you hugged him...just loved it. Some people would feel too awkward or embarassed to do it, you know. But you went with the moment...and you might never know how much that meant to him.
on Feb 02, 2006
I loved that you hugged him too Tex.

Ya never know, he might have seen you and thought, "Wow. That lady needs one of my hugs!"
on Feb 02, 2006
Shovelheat:
Your hugging him, well... it touched me.


Thanks. It was such a simple thing, but it felt so good to wrap my arms around that little boy. What a precious child.

Jill:
I personally don't feel awkward or embarrassed when touching others or being touched accidentally. I'm pretty secure with myself though. I see women who look absolutely mortified if their child sticks his or her hand down their shirts. My sons used to do that all the time when they were babies. It's a natual thing. Why be embarrassed?


I agree. I think we are sometimes so hypersensitive about touching. Our children should never feel shunned or afraid to reach out to us...to stroke our skin or snuggle into our curves. It's bonding.

There are friends and family that you just know invite hugs and others who just aren't the hugging type. I'm the hugging type. I actually feel sorry for those who aren't.


Hehe. You know, I'm very touchy with my family. I'm less that way with people I don't know well and I think perhaps I'm doing myself a disservice. Good for you, Jill.

Moderateman:
how very sweet, some fleeting moments of random acts of humanity are the ones I hold dearest.


It's strange how moments like that seem to come out of nowhere and they are in such contrast to our busy lives. It makes them treasures, though.

You are a good person and I will bet you remember this moment in time for the rest of your life.


Aww, thank you. I hope I do remember it. I want to savor it. It was such a sweet moment that was so unexpected.

Chaos:
Reminds me of something my middle son likes to do. At times, he's very "don't touch me" (like most autistic children) but there are times where it seems like he knows when someone can most use a hug.


Awww. My oldest is not touchy-feely, and so his hugs and his touches are really special. I think kids can sense things like that...our emotional state...when we need support or comforting. I think we kind of lose that as adults.

My daughter on the other hand ... getting her to STOP hugging complete strangers is the hard part. Very much a very touchie-feelie kind of girl. Not that I'm complaining 'cause I'm one of the favored recipients of all those hugs and kisses.


Hehe. Gotta love that. My youngest is the same way. Very outgoing and self-assured, and very affectionate. So cuddly! It's it just awesome?

InBloom:
I loved that you hugged him...just loved it.


What else can you do when a child outstretches his arms? Hehe. I can't imagine turning away.

But you went with the moment...and you might never know how much that meant to him.


True, although I feel like he gave a gift to me.

Tova:
I loved that you hugged him too Tex.


And I love that I hugged him, haha. What a little doll. I have wondered if maybe I reminded him of his mom?

One time as we were leaving Chilis my youngest started trying to walk off with a lady with long dark hair. Hehe. He was trying to grab her hand and take off with her. Poor little guy. He was embarrassed when he realized his mistake.

Ya never know, he might have seen you and thought, "Wow. That lady needs one of my hugs!"


Ain't that the truth! It made my day, that's for sure.
on Feb 03, 2006
We do all need more hugs!
on Feb 03, 2006
OF course these days if you're a guy and you did that you'd get locked up (or at least be viewed with suspicion) no matter how good your intentions were...and we wonder why people are afraid to touch these days...
on Feb 04, 2006
Toblerone:
OF course these days if you're a guy and you did that you'd get locked up (or at least be viewed with suspicion) no matter how good your intentions were...and we wonder why people are afraid to touch these days...


Exactly...(that's kind of what I was alluding to in the last part of my article). It's really sad, you know.

You could hug me or my kids any day, Toblerone! Hehe.
on Feb 04, 2006
You could hug me or my kids any day, Toblerone! Hehe.


Well it could be sometime before I get over to Hawaii but here, have an *eHug* instead
on Feb 04, 2006
i too am a touchy-type of person. i think it's how i communicate to others that i care about them. some people i feel uncomfortable doing that with, because i know they may not be the same way. but it's my love language.
on Feb 05, 2006
Toblerone:
Well it could be sometime before I get over to Hawaii but here, have an *eHug* instead


Works for me! Thanks, hehe. I would have offered up my husband as well, but he's not too big on hugging dudes (that I know of! ).

jlaur65:
i too am a touchy-type of person. i think it's how i communicate to others that i care about them. some people i feel uncomfortable doing that with, because i know they may not be the same way. but it's my love language.


I think it's good that you're respectful of the wishes of others (some people simply don't like hugging and being touched), but I do feel that human touch is so beneficial and so lacking in our society.

Good for you!
on Feb 06, 2006
Tex, this is a really beautiful story. Such poignant simplicity is lost to most of us, unfortunately.

Hugs are tops. And tell Adrian he doesn't know what he's missing. A good manly hug between mates is a truly great thing.
on Feb 08, 2006
We definately need more hugs! A hug says a lot more than words do anytime. My 4 year old gave me one yesterday which felt so good and I needed it too. Kids are so perceptive.
2 Pages1 2