Pink Eye?

on Sep 27, 2005

Infantry Wife:

Slightly! Eric and I usualy talk on the phone, more so recently wih the impending birth of my newest neice. Anyway, we have had the discussion how addictive it is and pondered over why this is. So far I haven't come up with why, any thoughts on that?

It started out as a time waster for me (to keep me busy during my husband's deployment), but it's become so much more to me now.

I have always enjoyed writing, but after college, I didn't have much opportunity to write and get feedback (I did the FRG newsletter, and that was fun, but not quite as personally expressive), so JU became the perfect outlet for me.

It's cool to be able to share my thoughts with such a diverse group of people, and I've gotten the chance to know some neat folks, even personally corresponding with a few.

Honestly, I think the big lure of JU is that it appeals to the narcissist in us all, haha.

32

Dr Guy

on Sep 28, 2005

With three very protective older brothers ... her future boyfriends are in so much trouble.

That only works so far. I have 3 younger sisters and up to a point, I could protect them. However, about 15 or so, they told me to get lost and did their own thing. IN may case, I had older girls and younger boys (actually GBGB), so there was never really an older brother for the oldest. But she was smart enough until..........

You cant protect them for their whole life unfortunately.

33

dharmagrl

on Sep 28, 2005

As much as I want a daughter, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to raise a girl up to be modest and respectful of herself with all the influences girls have tugging on them nowadays.

It's not that hard. I've got an almost 13 year old (she only has 2 weeks left of being a non-teen, oh joy!) and she's VERY modest about most stuff. I think that if you raise girls to not be afraid to be different they're more likely to stand on their own feet when it comes to peer pressure. Shea does some typical teenage stuff (all of her posters of Orlando Bloom speak to that) but she's never been one to go with the rest of the herd.

Her younger brothers are already wanting to defend her 'honor'....and she's already told them to get lost and that she can defend her own honor.

34

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

dharmagrl:

she's VERY modest about most stuff.

How did you do that? I want the secret formula please!
I guess it will come to me in time just like raising polite boys who aren't too gross but not geeky either. But for some reason I am much more scared about having the girl.

Tex:

I did the FRG newsletter, and that was fun, but not quite as personally expressive)

What do you mean not personaly expressive? Haha It doesn't get much drier than that, I have done them for a couple of units and I remember thinking "OK, who is this going to offend at every corner", was a pain. I like your style of writing because it is like reading a day in a life. What you said made me think maybe I like JU because it is like a realty show. You have your gossip rags and I have my realty shows I always get hooked on no matter how hard I try to resist. I guess it is a diversion from being a full time mommy, housekeeper, taxi driver, short order cook, tutor, and volunteer..... I don't think I would be one to write articles, I would rather just read others and learn from some, comment on some and laugh heartily with others. Hope I don't offend anyone with the reasons I like this place.

35

dharmagrl

on Sep 28, 2005

I guess it is a diversion from being a full time mommy, housekeeper, taxi driver, short order cook, tutor, and volunteer..... I don't think I would be one to write articles, I would rather just read others and learn from some, comment on some and laugh heartily with others. Hope I don't offend anyone with the reasons I like this place.

Nope, not at all. Well, you don't offend me, anyway.

I think that Shea is the way she is because of the way she's been raised. Neither her dad or I have been ones to 'go with the flow'. we're both slightly...umm...different....and Shea's latched on to that.

We got family pool passes this summer and spent 2 days looking for a bathing suit for Shea. She wouldn't wear most of the bikinis on sale because they showed "too much". She also won't wear short skirts or short shorts, and doesn't wear halter tops because again, they show too much skin for her liking.

I guess we just got lucky....

36

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

She also won't wear short skirts or short shorts, and doesn't wear halter tops because again, they show too much skin for her liking.

Good for you!!! My other brother came to visit and went with me to pick up Dakota from school, he couldn't get over the short skirts, belly showing shirts etc. School rules state that the boys have to tuck in their shirts and it is strictly enforced yet the girls can wear shirts that there is no way they could tuck them in if they tried not to mention you can just about see their hineys with the skirts. Arghhh, I really am starting to feel old and prudish which anyone who knew me premiddle school kids would get a great laugh from

37

Texas Wahine

on Sep 28, 2005

Dr.Guy:

You cant protect them for their whole life unfortunately.

Infantry Wife:

What do you mean not personaly expressive? Haha It doesn't get much drier than that, I have done them for a couple of units and I remember thinking "OK, who is this going to offend at every corner", was a pain.

I was given pretty much free run of it...I set up the format and wrote the articles, and to some extent chose the content, but in order for it to appear at least somewhat professional, I had to hold myself back a lot, haha.

I also didn't really enjoy working under the CPT's wife. The FRG and newsletter gave me the opportunity to get to know her well and make a good impression of our family for my husband, but she was very high strung, high maintenance, and had a bit of a martyr complex. Additionally, she would wait until I had essentially finished the newsletter and then come up with something that needed to be added or changed. It definitely was a pain.

Unfortunately, she and her husband (of 12 years) divorced after the deployment.

I like your style of writing because it is like reading a day in a life.

Thank you.

What you said made me think maybe I like JU because it is like a realty show. You have your gossip rags and I have my realty shows I always get hooked on no matter how hard I try to resist. I guess it is a diversion from being a full time mommy, housekeeper, taxi driver, short order cook, tutor, and volunteer.....

Haha, yeah, I could see it from the reality show angle. And it is a nice break from daily obligations...and a good chance to communicate with other actual adults.

I don't think I would be one to write articles, I would rather just read others and learn from some, comment on some and laugh heartily with others. Hope I don't offend anyone with the reasons I like this place.

I would love to see an article from you. It's scary at first...I was very intimidated about writing when I joined, but you ease into it. And believe it or not, the majority of folks on here are super nice.

dharma:

We got family pool passes this summer and spent 2 days looking for a bathing suit for Shea. She wouldn't wear most of the bikinis on sale because they showed "too much". She also won't wear short skirts or short shorts, and doesn't wear halter tops because again, they show too much skin for her liking.

I'll bet that makes you and Dave sooo happy! I don't think it's impossible to raise a girl up right...there's just so many things tugging on them. You should be (and I know you are!) very proud of Shea.

Infantry Wife:

My other brother came to visit and went with me to pick up Dakota from school, he couldn't get over the short skirts, belly showing shirts etc. School rules state that the boys have to tuck in their shirts and it is strictly enforced yet the girls can wear shirts that there is no way they could tuck them in if they tried not to mention you can just about see their hineys with the skirts

This is a pet peeve of mine (I even wrote an article about it a while back).

Just the other day when I was walking my boys to school, we were behind a little girl who was wearing tall wedge sandals that tied up her calves, a gun metal grey pleather skirt that was maybe an inch past her rump, and a tight black, belly bearing top. I could not believe someone would actually buy this stuff for a child...AND SEND THEM TO SCHOOL WEARING IT!! She was dressed like a hooker! And she couldn't have been more than maybe 8 or 9.

38

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

I also didn't really enjoy working under the CPT's wife

ARGHHH!!! I know how this system works, there is always somebody over your hubby unless of course you are the presidents wife. You are obviously dedicated to helping out your husband and I applaud you for that. Always remember that no matter what rank, you don't work under anyone. you aren't in the US army. I understand wanting to make a good impression though. Sorry to sound like a mom. But really, I have seen it before and it sucks and it pisses me off. I know I came off bad in my first threads but I don't play those games.

She was dressed like a hooker!

YEP!!!

39

Texas Wahine

on Sep 28, 2005

Infantry Wife:

ARGHHH!!! I know how this system works, there is always somebody over your hubby unless of course you are the presidents wife. You are obviously dedicated to helping out your husband and I applaud you for that. Always remember that no matter what rank, you don't work under anyone. you aren't in the US army

What I mean is that I was doing the newsletter with her oversight. She was the FRG leader, and she, and the CPT (who was actually a terrific man whom I have great respect and admiration for) had final approval over the finished product.

A (long) while back, when I was introduced to the 1st SGT, he introduced himself as "First Sergeant"...screw that! What's your real name? Cause that's what I'm gonna call ya. I'm not one of your Soldiers.

While I am an Army spouse and we are an Army family (which does make all of us a part of the US Army by default), I do not allow others, regardless of rank, to make me feel inferior or push me around because I'm not getting paid to take their crap. My husband might be...but I'm not.

Sorry to sound like a mom. But really, I have seen it before and it sucks and it pisses me off. I know I came off bad in my first threads but I don't play those games.

I'm not sure what "games" you're referring to...could you clarify? There's no need to chastise or admonish me...while I'm fairly new to the Army (January will make 3 years of service for my husband), I've gone to great lengths to educate myself on what is expected of me and what my role is in supporting the Army in general, and my husband specifically.

PS - I'm not angry or anything, but I certainly bristle at being treated as if I am naive and in urgent need of guidance.

40

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

OH no no no!!! I come off wrong at times, I promise I wasn't speaking of you, I was refering to how I myself came off as a bitchy zero's wife on the other threads. I hate that I did that and immediately regretted it when it was pointed out to me because I can't stand when rank becomes an issue with the non active duty spouse or hell the active duty person for that matter but at least that I can understand What I mean to say is like what you refered to with the 1st Sgt, yeah for you with the names not rank, we are wives or spouses and rank should never come into play for us. There are those people who wear their hubby's rank and will try to look down on or boss around anyone whose spouse is of a lower rank than their own, this is any rank....enlisted of not. I don't play the games of treating people differently because of their husbands position. THose are the games and I certainly didn't mean to imply that you were playing such games...not at all. Soooo not chastising you at all, I write as I think like I would talk, but on a screen I don't stop to think that you can't see my facial expressions and also that you don't know me and how I speak. I guess I thought the Cpt's wife was being not so nice to you and treating you unkindly when you were in fact doing the company a valuable service, so I grabbed my "save the day for my new friend who got treated wrong cape" and screwed up.
Ok, gathering my thougths because I feel like an ass for coming off the wrong way to someone who has been nice and forgiving to me. I so agree that we are all in this together. I really think it is awesome that you get involved in FRG, I spent the morning folding tshirts for a sale at a basic training graduation. I have said before I don't do the clubs and what not and I don't, but I do like to help with FRG because those are the people you are with during the deployments and sicknesses and all the other stuff that comes up. I am glad you are not angry- thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and asking me what I meant instead of blasting me. I will try to get better at saying what I mean and and taking into consideration that you don't know my expressions, inflections and all the other crap that runs through my head fast than I can keep up with on a keyboard.

41

Dr Guy

on Sep 28, 2005

So now that you have our Expert (amature) advice, how is the eye? Better? Or did you take him to a doc?

42

Texas Wahine

on Sep 28, 2005

Infantry Wife: Thank you for clearing that up. And is definitely difficult to get the message across in text without the benefit of tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. That's the primary reason for my hehes and hahahas. I don't giggle THAT much in real life, but it's my way of showing that my comment is written in a spirit of light-heartedness.

No worries.

There are those people who wear their hubby's rank and will try to look down on or boss around anyone whose spouse is of a lower rank than their own, this is any rank....enlisted of not. I don't play the games of treating people differently because of their husbands position.

Haha...I've come across that some. Interestingly enough, we had some neighbors who were kind of snotty to us when we first moved here. The husband was a CPL, and on our first night in housing when we were socializing with them, he joked that he should "smoke" my husband (who was a PFC at the time).

My husband just laughed it off. While we have always been friendly with them, both of them have made catty "we're superior" remarks throughout our time here.

Well, now the neighbor is STILL a CPL and my husband is a SGT.

While rank is important for the structure of the Army, and there are valid reasons for fraternization rules, I think far too much emphasis is placed on it in the Army community (meaning, the spouses, families, etc.).

I'm proud of my husband for earning his rank, and I admire the work he's done to get where he is now, but when he comes home at the end of the day, he's Adrian or daddy...not SGT *ourlastname*. That goes for our family, and for the neighborhood, the commissary, Wal-Mart, and anywhere else we happen to be. I think that's even implied in the NCO Creed.

I am proud of the Corps of Noncommissioned Officers and will at all times conduct myself so as to bring credit upon the Corps, the Military Service and my country regardless of the situation in which I find myself. I will not use my grade or position to attain pleasure, profit, or personal safety.

That doesn't mean that I don't have respect for the Soldiers and Officers who have worked and sacrificed to reach a high level of success...or the family members who have contributed to that success through their unwavering support. I just don't think rank should be used as a tool to belittle civilians or push them around.

I guess I thought the Cpt's wife was being not so nice to you and treating you unkindly when you were in fact doing the company a valuable service, so I grabbed my "save the day for my new friend who got treated wrong cape" and screwed up.

Hehe. She was difficult to deal with, but I learned a lot from her. And not to be catty (ok, I'm going to be catty, haha), I can understand where the divorce came from. I've never met someone so bossy or high maintenance in my life! I don't think her attitude came entirely from being an Officer's wife...hehe...I think it was just HER!

BTW, despite my lashing out at you previously, I personally wouldn't call an Officer a "zero". I understand where the term comes from, but I think it's disrespectful.

I really think it is awesome that you get involved in FRG, I spent the morning folding tshirts for a sale at a basic training graduation. I have said before I don't do the clubs and what not and I don't, but I do like to help with FRG because those are the people you are with during the deployments and sicknesses and all the other stuff that comes up.

A lot of the organizations devolve into whiny, bitching sessions. Haha. I was fortunate in that our FRG was fairly informative and not a gossip group. It kind of fell apart with the CPT's divorce, and the company is being restructured, so who knows what will happen now?

What's it like living on a base that does Basic Training? Is it bizarre to have strangers coming in all the time for the graduations?

I am glad you are not angry- thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and asking me what I meant instead of blasting me.

You're most welcome.

I will try to get better at saying what I mean and and taking into consideration that you don't know my expressions, inflections and all the other crap that runs through my head fast than I can keep up with on a keyboard.

No worries. Eventually we get to where we have an idea of where someone is coming from and kind of know how to take what they say...but it doesn't always work. There's always a misunderstanding of one kind or another going on. Hehe.

Dr. Guy:

So now that you have our Expert (amature) advice, how is the eye?

Yes, I do want to thank everyone who offered advice or even just sympathized. His eye has been fine. No goo or anything, and the redness disappeared quickly. I think it was just an overaggressive eye rub on his part.

Better? Or did you take him to a doc?

Much better. I haven't taken him in yet, but am considering doing it when Adrian gets back to find out if maybe he's suffering from allergies (what with the eye rubbing and constant sniffing).

Thanks!

43

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

Well, now the neighbor is STILL a CPL and my husband is a SGT.

That is Karma!!! What comes around goes around. Well not just Karma, that and hard work and dedication on your hubby's part!!

don't think her attitude came entirely from being an Officer's wife...hehe...I think it was just HER

Have met the type, not to stereotype but hey it happens

when he comes home at the end of the day, he's Adrian or daddy...not SGT *ourlastname*.

Yep!!! My kids are clueless about rank. My hubby's old boss had a child Dakota's age and he knew all about the rank system. Was a good kid but talked a few times about the whole my daddy is your daddys boss crap. Dakota was just like whatever dude, my mom is your cubscout leader so there! haha

What's it like living on a base that does Basic Training? Is it bizarre to have strangers coming in all the time for the graduations?

We don't live on post here but there are always strangers on Fort Benning because this is like the land of the Retirees. A lot of guys retire here because of the opportunities to work civil service on post as a second career plus we have a huge hospital and commisary. The commisary has no less than 40 handicap parking places for the older crowd and there are always more older people than active duty there.
I love doing the tshirt sales though because these parents come from all over the country to see their kid graduate from basic, is amazing. They are so pumped and emotional and it is nice to see. Not to sound corny but the guys who are enlisting now, I just have a huge amount of respect for because they signed up KNOWING they will more than likely go to a war that is obviously unpopular. Our Chaplains wife was griping about what some of the family members were wearing, that they aren't dressed up enough. . I was like HELLO they came from all over the place with the gas prices as high as they are to come see their kids graduate, cut them some slack. I saw a show on MTV one time...a reality show of course..hehe, and they showed a group of army trainees and they had them say why they joined and this was prewar...90 percent of them did it for the GI bill and vowed to not reenlist. That was sad to me, not berating anyone for that at all....hell it is a good way to go to college but it would be nice if they would have sidebarred..."hey I am proud to be an American"- durn if I knew how to get the smiley faces up I would do one now but can't find them...where the heck did they go??

44

infantry wife

on Sep 28, 2005

BTW, despite my lashing out at you previously, I personally wouldn't call an Officer a "zero". I understand where the term comes from, but I think it's disrespectful.

I deserved the lashing and again at the risk of sounding like glutton or a freak I appreciate that you took the time to qoute me and point out the nastiness...I really didn't stop and think about what I was doing before you showed me. Not to say that I won't ever have a momentary lapse of reason again or that I would duck out of a good debate that peeks my interest....hehe

45

Texas Wahine

on Sep 29, 2005

Infantry Wife:

That is Karma!!! What comes around goes around. Well not just Karma, that and hard work and dedication on your hubby's part!!

Haha, yeah, karma...exactly!

Dakota was just like whatever dude, my mom is your cubscout leader so there! haha

Bwahahahahahhahhahaa...funny kid. Hehe. My kids know their daddy is a SGT, but only because we all spent a lot of time helping my husband prep for the board. Other than that, they have no clue.

I think it's sad for kids to think that they are superior (or inferior) to other kids because of a parent's rank. That's not something they need to worry about!

We don't live on post here but there are always strangers on Fort Benning because this is like the land of the Retirees. A lot of guys retire here because of the opportunities to work civil service on post as a second career plus we have a huge hospital and commisary. The commisary has no less than 40 handicap parking places for the older crowd and there are always more older people than active duty there.

That's funny. This is a fairly popular retirement spot, too. But Active Duty far outnumbers the retirees here. Curious, do your commissaries and PXs offer items that kind of cater to the retirement crowd?

I love doing the tshirt sales though because these parents come from all over the country to see their kid graduate from basic, is amazing. They are so pumped and emotional and it is nice to see. Not to sound corny but the guys who are enlisting now, I just have a huge amount of respect for because they signed up KNOWING they will more than likely go to a war that is obviously unpopular.

I agree. It's very impressive to see so many people choose to serve with full knowledge of the sacrifices required of them. I think that's one of the many things that makes this country great.

My husband did his Basic in South Carolina, and we made the trip from Texas to there. We spent nearly a week in the car (well, minivan at the time) going there and back. I bought a cheap TV/VCR combo (not the slick ones they have now, but a small but bulky sucker) to put in the car to keep the kids occupied. When it was all said and done, I was soooo sick of Spongebob! Haha.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world, though. My husband's never looked better to me than the day I saw him for the first time after Basic Training. He was so clean cut and self assured. I'm just incredibly proud of all the things he's learned, the crappy stuff he's endured, and all the amazing things he's accomplished.

I saw a show on MTV one time...a reality show of course..hehe, and they showed a group of army trainees and they had them say why they joined and this was prewar...90 percent of them did it for the GI bill and vowed to not reenlist. That was sad to me, not berating anyone for that at all....hell it is a good way to go to college but it would be nice if they would have sidebarred..."hey I am proud to be an American"

Well, I think if someone is willing to serve our country, even if it is just for college money, it's an admirable thing. Military training can be an excellent gateway to a great civilian career, and after all the men and women in our armed forces go through while serving, I definitely believe it's well deserved!

But I agree, I think there's a lot of apathy and lack of patriotism and sense of duty in the youth of today (which at 26, I suppose I am (youth of today, that is), but I'm hella patriotic, hehe).

durn if I knew how to get the smiley faces up I would do one now but can't find them...where the heck did they go??

You should have some smileys under your comment box, on the far right. Should be about 15 of 'em, hehe.

I deserved the lashing and again at the risk of sounding like glutton or a freak I appreciate that you took the time to qoute me and point out the nastiness...I really didn't stop and think about what I was doing before you showed me.

I don't hold that against you. I think we all do that. It's hard because there's not a natural flow of conversation in this...I mean, there is to some extent, but our comments tend to just build up and get harsher and harsher without our realizing it, just because of the format.

And we don't get to see the other person's expressions or hear their tone of voice, so we can't always tell (unless they tell us) that they are upset, angry, hurt, or just laughing their asses off, hehe.

No worries, though. I was extremely rude and hateful to you as well, and I am quite embarrassed by how low I allowed myself to sink. You're not the "bad one" in this situation. We both got heated, and didn't think about the impact of our words. It happens. I'm over it, and I'm glad that you've not held anything I said against me. Thank you for that.

Not to say that I won't ever have a momentary lapse of reason again or that I would duck out of a good debate that peeks my interest....hehe

Hahaha...it'll happen again. We all lose our heads from time to time.