Just Because it has Pineapple, Doesn't Make it Hawaiian!!

Published on August 15, 2005 By Texas Wahine In Misc

Listen up, mainlanders...

Just 'cause you put pineapple in it, doesn't mean you've created a Hawaiian dish!

You put pineapple on your pizza. So what? Now it's Pineapple Pizza. It AIN'T Hawaiian Pizza, and I don't care what Papa Johns says.

Your chicken dish has green bell peppers and terriyaki sauce and pineapple chunks. It's not Waikiki Chicken! It's Terriyaki Chicken with Pineapples and Green Bell Peppers!

Yeah, yeah, the pineapple symbolizes hospitality and aloha...but it does NOT define Hawaiian cusuine!

You know what they eat here?

Loco Moco...rice under greasy hamburger meat with brown gravy and a fried egg on top

Fried Spam...sliced thin and fried to a crisp

Spam Musubi...rectangle of sushi rice topped with a thick slice of fried Spam and secured with a strip of Nori (seaweed)

Mac Salad...macaroni salad that consists of macaroni noodles and an ungodly amount of mayo

Haupia...a coconut pudding/jello with a bit of a snot consistency

Lomi Lomi Salmon...chopped raw salmon with tomatoes and onions

Poke...raw fish with seaweed and sesame oil

Saimin...basically Ramen noodles (even available at McDonalds)

Arare...sesame crackers

Sushi...sushi is fast food here

Fish, fish, fish, beef, pork, rice, gravy, noodles...these things are what Hawaiians eat!

Pineapples are mostly for selling to you mainland suckers! You wanna call something "Hawaiian" or "Waikiki"? Drown it in mayo or stuff it with Spam, and then we'll talk.

We got choke ono grinds here, brah.

Comments (Page 2)

drmiler

on Aug 18, 2005

Look, Tex, let us poor white trash who won't ever get close to Hawaii at least bask in the delight of our Hawaiian pizzas. Gah, I love pineapple and ham together... It makes me feel... exotic?

Now ham and pineapple do go together. And taste great together. They just don't belong on pizza together.

ParaTed2k

on Aug 18, 2005

Kind of like putting ham on a pizza makes it neither Canadian nor Bacon? lol

How about "Poi", gross as it is, can we consider that Hawaiian? lol

drmiler

on Aug 18, 2005

Okay I'll bite....what the hell is poi?

ParaTed2k

on Aug 18, 2005

if you ask me, it's the root word for "poison", but it is a corn based muck that Polynesians eat with two fingers. Mix corn syrup with motor oil... you'll get the idea. lol

drmiler

on Aug 18, 2005

if you ask me, it's the root word for "poison", but it is a corn based muck that Polynesians eat with two fingers. Mix corn syrup with motor oil... you'll get the idea. lol

Sounds sort of like "polenta". At least the "Eyetalians" and the Spaniards don't eat it with their fingers. But it is served as sort of a thickened corn meal mush.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 18, 2005

drmiler:

Ever hear of Pico de Gallo (better known as salsa mexicanna)?

I love Pico de Gallo (Adrian hates it!). His aunt taught me to make it when she and his mom were visiting. It is quite different from salsa.

Or salsa fresca?

I don't know what that is.

But your right. The one your refering to will take the hide off an old billy goat!

Hahahaha...I always tease Adrian because I can eat the stuff and he can't. Although the last time I ate some of of, I could actually feel it searing away my stomach lining.

HC:

Marinated it in pineapple juice, soy sauce and garlic among other things. Mmmmmmmm. I promise... I didn't even call the grilled pineapple we had "Hawaiian"

Hehe. That sounds really good. I suppose you can call Pineapple Hawaiian. Here's something that most people don't realize about Pineapple...it's still a big crop here, but they no longer can it here. It gets shipped to the mainland and canned there.

Kelly:

Can you believe I made a "hawaiian" quiche for a lady at $21.00 a pop. Sooooo gross. It had big chunks of ham, big chunks of pineapple and eggs and heavy cream baked in a pie crust. Big fat yuck, but hey, if you order it, I will make it.

Ugh. Eggs and pineapple. Icky. But hey, $21. In true Hawaiian style, if you're making big bucks off of it, you can call it Hawaiian or Waikiki or Polynesian or Samoan or whatever the hell you want so long as it makes the customers feel exotic. Hahhahaa.

Maso:

Look, Tex, let us poor white trash who won't ever get close to Hawaii at least bask in the delight of our Hawaiian pizzas. Gah, I love pineapple and ham together... It makes me feel... exotic?

Only because I like you. Hehe.

drmiler:

Now ham and pineapple do go together. And taste great together. They just don't belong on pizza together.

I'm not a ham fan, but I'll still go with you on that one. Ham and pineapple = yes. Tomato sauce and pineapple = no.

Ted:

Kind of like putting ham on a pizza makes it neither Canadian nor Bacon? lol

Hahhaa...I've always been curious...in what circumstances does ham morph into Canadian bacon? How does that work?

How about "Poi", gross as it is, can we consider that Hawaiian? lol

Most definitely. Poi is very Hawaiian. Permission granted, hehe (though I hope you don't actually eat it!)

ParaTed:

if you ask me, it's the root word for "poison", but it is a corn based muck that Polynesians eat with two fingers. Mix corn syrup with motor oil... you'll get the idea. lol

Yup. It's icky. If I remember correctly, it's kind of sour, even. It's purple and comes from Taro root. The only way it's good is when sweetened and battered and deep fried. They used to have stands outside Wal-Mart that sold fried poi balls. You could get a dozen in a box like donuts, or they would slide three onto a stick (like a Kabob) and charge a buck.

Deep frying is always good.

Oh, and they also make disgusting purple-tinted dinner rolls with it for cruises and luaus and such.

drmiler:

Sounds sort of like "polenta". At least the "Eyetalians" and the Spaniards don't eat it with their fingers. But it is served as sort of a thickened corn meal mush.

I've heard of polenta, but never tried it. Is it bad?

AvantiTexan

on Aug 18, 2005

I've heard of polenta, but never tried it. Is it bad?

I’ve eaten polènta several times before. It is actually very tasty. However, every time I have eaten it, it was it a solid, almost fried state. Of course like any cuisine, the preparation can vary greatly from region to region. I’ve eaten it in Florence (however it was cooked by a Pugliese) and have eaten it in the south in Puglia. Can’t say I’ve ever had it as a mush. That being said, it is one of my favorite Italian dishes! As far as I can tell, it is fairly simple to make, I might be able to get you a recipe. Ti voglio tanto bene sis! (Love you lots)

JP

KarmaGirl

on Aug 18, 2005

I think I'll be OK with never eating "real" Hawaiian food. Spam??? Ick...

Texas Wahine

on Aug 18, 2005

Jeremy:

However, every time I have eaten it, it was it a solid, almost fried state.

Fried works for me! Hehe.

Of course like any cuisine, the preparation can vary greatly from region to region. I’ve eaten it in Florence (however it was cooked by a Pugliese) and have eaten it in the south in Puglia.

Show off!

That being said, it is one of my favorite Italian dishes! As far as I can tell, it is fairly simple to make, I might be able to get you a recipe.

That'd be cool. Thanks!

Ti voglio tanto bene sis!

Ua pili anei keia 'ohune i ke komo hawele li a me ka holo wawae ma kahakai?

(Can wearing a thong and running on the beach cause a rash like this?)

Oh, and I love you as well.

PS - Did I miss Amanda's birthday?

Karma:

I think I'll be OK with never eating "real" Hawaiian food. Spam??? Ick...

No kidding. They eat some nasty stuff. Unfortunately, Adrian and the boys love SPAM, so I have to fix it about once a week. Blech.

Spc Nobody Special

on Aug 18, 2005

Pineapple and eggs? Blech. You're not pregnant, are you?

No, although according to the Army I've had a recent miscarriage, followed by a D and C......article to follow soon...........

dynamaso

on Aug 18, 2005

Only because I like you. Hehe.[\quote]

Awww, shucks... Right back at you.

Now ham and pineapple do go together. And taste great together. They just don't belong on pizza together.

I really do like it on a pizza... Must be my unsophistimacated pallet

drmiler

on Aug 19, 2005

've heard of polenta, but never tried it. Is it bad?

I’ve eaten polènta several times before. It is actually very tasty. However, every time I have eaten it, it was it a solid, almost fried state. Of course like any cuisine, the preparation can vary greatly from region to region. I’ve eaten it in Florence (however it was cooked by a Pugliese) and have eaten it in the south in Puglia. Can’t say I’ve ever had it as a mush. That being said, it is one of my favorite Italian dishes! As far as I can tell, it is fairly simple to make, I might be able to get you a recipe. Ti voglio tanto bene sis! (Love you lots)

That right ther tells me it was reheated. Polenta is made by "boiling" cornmeal. However a popular way to serve it is let it cool and then slice and fry it. Check the link. Link

crimson

on Aug 19, 2005

Pineapples are mostly for selling to you mainland suckers! You wanna call something "Hawaiian" or "Waikiki"? Drown it in mayo or stuff it with Spam, and then we'll talk.

I think the intial attraction to Spam for a kid, is the can with the key that it comes in. When you twirl back that little sliver of tin for the first time, and pry the top lid off, eyes widen when you turn the can upside down, and a greasy slab of pink meat falls to the plate.

At least, my daughter looked pretty damned impressed the first time I showed her what it was. She wouldn't actually eat it, though.

drmiler

on Aug 19, 2005

I still like the stuff, but only one way. Sliced thin, fried crisp and served with over-medium (dippy) eggs ,hash browns and toast.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 19, 2005

SPC:

No, although according to the Army I've had a recent miscarriage, followed by a D and C......article to follow soon...........

Bwahhahahaa...I KNEW IT!

Maso:

I really do like it on a pizza... Must be my unsophistimacated pallet

Well, I suppose if I can eat jalapeños on my pizza, you can have pineapple on yours.

drmiler: Interesting.

Nicky:

I agree that those key cans are super cool. They put 'em on soup cans now, too, and I love it.

However...SPAM doesn't fall onto the plate...it oozes and slithers...haahahahaha...

At least, my daughter looked pretty damned impressed the first time I showed her what it was. She wouldn't actually eat it, though

Smart girl!

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