So I've been called a flirt.
I don't mean to do it. I don't even really consider it flirting. It's just being friendly and chipper. Hell, I do it with women, too.
What is flirting? Is flirting wrong when you're in a committed relationship?
Is THIS flirting?
My husband and I are in Blockbuster, looking for the movie Holes.
I am in an aisle alone, and I look up to see a friendly looking Blockbuster employee. He smiles and asks, "Is there anything I can help you with?" I smile back and say, "Yes. I'm looking for Holes."
My husband calls from the next aisle over, "I found it."
I laugh and say, "Nevermind. We've got it. Thanks."
Blockbuster guy says, "OK. Let me know if you need help with anything else."
I meet up with my husband and get teased for actually saying, "I'm looking for holes." He also accuses me of flirting with the Blockbuster guy. I laugh at the "holes" thing, but deny any flirting.
A few minutes later, Adrian and I are looking over the new movies. I comment to Adrian that "The Jacket" is all out, and that we should have went ahead and watched it while we had it (we turned it in that day).
Blockbuster guy overhears this and tells me, "I think we have another copy. Do you want me to get it for you?"
I laugh and say, "No, that's OK. We've rented it twice and never watched it. Do you know if it's any good?"
He tells me that he's heard it's better than "Boogeyman". I comment about how badly "Boogeyman" sucked and he asks me if I've seen "Hide and Seek." I tell him yes, that I thought it was a good movie, very freaky. "Freaky, eh?" he laughs. We continue to banter about movies for a few moments, and then I thank him and Adrian and I head out to another section.
From that point on, Adrian insisted on referring to the helpful Blockbuster guy as my "boyfriend." All in good fun, of course, but he insisted that I was flirting with him, and that the Blockbuster guy was flirting back.
Now, I say I was just being friendly, and the Blockbuster guy was just doing his job. Adrian points out that I was doing my "giggly girly thing," but I don't reserve that just for guys, so I don't think it was flirting.
Another recent scenario...is THIS flirting?
I run to the Shopette to pick up sodas. On my way to the soda aisle, a guy stops me and asks me if the Shopette has potato bread. He leads me to the bread aisle where I look at the bread and tell him, "I don't think so. You may have to go to the commissary."
He then says, "You smell great. What are you wearing?"
I laugh and hesitate because I am wearing...
"Very Sexy by Victoria's Secret," I say.
He sighs loudly and says, "Mmm...you smell very sexy."
He pauses.
"You look very sexy."
I blush and look at the floor. What am I supposed to say to that? Finally I mumble, "Thank you" and wish him good luck with his bread.
The Shopette guy and I meet up again in the checkout line, and he begins chatting with me with questions about how long I've lived here and asking me where I got my perfume, again complimenting me on it. I am embarrassed, and make quiet small talk.
Finally, he says, "That was a lame line. I'm sorry."
I smile weakly and say, "That's OK." His cell phone rings, and he excuses himself to go get a bag of Cheetos.
When I got home I recounted the tale to Adrian, and instead of finding it amusing, he is a tiny bit upset. "You were flirting with him, weren't you?" he asks. "No, no. I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say. Besides, I was wearing my ring."
He insists that he KNOWS I had to have been doing my "giggly girly thing," or else it wouldn't have happened.
The conversation is over in a matter of minutes, and any bad feelings are left behind. But he's still sure that I was flirting.
I'm not looking for another relationship. I'm not interested in any other men. I don't even think that I flirt. I have a touch of social anxiety, and it tends to make me bubbly and giggly when I'm around people I don't know well.
What am I supposed to do, act like a zombie?
Gah. I'm NOT a flirt.