I was thisclose to an Acute Care Clinic visit today.
It all started with the inkling for egg salad sandwiches. I looked up a recipe online, and it sounded good to me. Adrian had never had it, and it sounded good to him too.
I boiled some eggs and let them cool. As I began to peel the first one I noticed the inside still seemed gooey and runny. Not good. I am not particularly skilled with boiling eggs, which seems like it should be one of the easiest cooking feats ever. Additionally, I was trying to rush through so Adrian could have his sandwiches before he had to return to work.
Hmmm...eggs still runny, one half-peeled. No time. What to do, what to do?
Microwave!
Yes, I would microwave them. Perfect solution. The insides would cook F-A-S-T that way! Kewl! (Damn you, SC!)
I put the half-peeled egg back in the bowl with his siblings and stuck the bowl in the microwave and nuked them for 1 minute. I grabbed my spices while the eggs were in the microwave, and when the timer dinged, I thought I was well on my way to an egg salad sandwich.
I picked a fully shelled egg up out of the bowl and it was quite hot. Blisteringly hot. No problem. I'd just run it under cold water! Brilliant!
As I rubbed the egg between my hands (to loosen the shell) under the stream of cold running water, something strange and unexpected happened.
The egg went off like a nuclear bomb. A saw a flash and my ears began ringing (ok, not really, but that would have been appropriate). The egg exploded in my hands, throwing shell shards and egg bits flying all over the kitchen. It exploded. Literally exploded.
I was shocked and amused.
And suddenly I was in a great amount of pain.
Egg matter was stuck to both of my hands and working on searing its way through to the other side. In my initial shock I failed to realize I needed to get that stuff OFF my hands, like NOW.
Adrian heard me from the living room. He heard "Whhhhhhooooooaaaaa!!" then "Oh my god, you wouldn't believe what just happened" then laughter then "Oh no. Ow, ow, ow, ow..."
When he came to investigate I had just rinsed the egg off my hand. I had lava hot egg dangerously close to my eye, it was in my hair, on my clothes, in the sink, on the window ledge, on the countertops...everywhere. I explained to him what had happened as I continued to run cold water over my burning hands.
"What lesson did you learn?", he asked.
"Don't microwave eggs?", I guessed.
Apparently an air pocket in the egg combined with my taking it from scalding hot to cold in a matter of seconds created the proverbial perfect storm (as it relates to eggs and explosions).
He inspected my hands and while it did not look serious (very red and hot, but no burn danger signs), I was in incredible pain. I couldn't stand to remove my hands from the cold water. The pain was too bad. I was worried I was not going to be able to use my hands for days.
After about 20 minutes under the faucet, my hands were ready for Adrian's "field expedient" (I think that's what he called it) dressing. He wrapped my hands together (only had one ACE bandage) with a couple small bags of ice wrapped up in the mix.
He followed my directions and finished making the egg salad sandwiches, and even fed mine to me. He loaded me up with Ibuprophen and Tylenol, unwrapped my hands, checked them over, and rubbed them gently with lotion.
I was in pain and just wanted to make it stop, so I took a nap. Several hours later...minimal pain. My hands are still red and kind of stingy, but nothing I can't power through.
I have developed a slight fear of eggs, but other than that I am well on my way to recovery!