Many "candidates" have listed lame qualifications and attempted to promote themselves the only reasonable choice, but I have found them all lacking.
Instead of backing someone from Not-America or someone who takes his name from PANTIES, America should get behind a candidate with the background and leadership abilities necessary to navigate American policy and security in these dangerous times.
My toddler, Isabella, is just such a candidate.
She has a tireless work ethic, and refuses to quit until she has accomplished her mission. She will not stop unraveling toilet paper until she hits cardboard. No matter how many distracting TV remotes or red crayons are in her way, she will not rest until the dirty diaper is safely in the trash. She will bring this sense of responsibility and dedication to her post as leader of USA.
She is experienced in dealing with terrorists and bullies. She does not back down, and has no problem shouting, "NO-NO!" Enemies will fear her strength and respect her resolve. Her swift kicks are accompanied by cool "psshew" karate sounds, and those who threaten the United States will find them on the groin end of her righteous wrath.
Ever diplomatic, Isabella will appeal to the leaders of foreign nations and build allies with her kisses and "peeeese" (please). Her inter-personal relationship skills are breast-sucklingly good, and due to her social nature, America will find herself surrounded by allies, all rallied and ready to do her bidding.
Isabella is concerned for the American worker and cares about families. No string cheese will go unshared, no toy unthrust in the face of those in need. Her economic policy is proactive. She will literally raid credit and debit cards out of the wallet of the haves, into the hands of the have-nots, thus shifting the dynamics of class warfare and creating a true sense of "what's mine is yours" in America.
A passionate environmentalist, Isabella has literally logged dozens of minutes clearing trash and debris from our natural landscapes. She will ensure that "OUT" remains safe, beautiful, and unharmed.
Isabella is the natural choice for President of the United States of America. Not only would electing a toddler be a welcome, progressive change from the "good ol boys" club the Presidency has historically been, but her ability to keep America safe, clean, and super cute far exceeds that of the other candidates in this bid for the most important job in our nation.
Don't just vote for change. Let my daughter find change for you (and eat it).